It's Complicated
by iamkatrina
Summary: My mother always told me that forgiving people is a way to start again. But, I don't want to forgive. I want to forget. Forget that he even exists and forget that he was even my best friend. Because I'm done. I'm done with him. If you don't understand- it's complicated. Divergent AU- high school. Disclaimer: I do not own any characters of Divergent, only this plot.
1. Part One

Chapter 1

Tris' POV

"Look, I'm sorry. Okay?"

I stay silent while loading my school books into my locker.

"Tris, look at me." He grips my shoulder and forcefully turns me around to look at me. I cry out in pain. He flinches back. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"Just go." I whisper. "Please." I will not cry, I refuse to cry in front of him.

"I'm sorry." He says again before walking away for good.

It was mid-November and the weather has been dropping drastically the past week. I'm dressed in my boyfriends large sweatshirt and leggings accompanied with a scarf to keep myself warm. What was worse was that I walked to school in the fourty degree weather. My brother Caleb had just turned sixteen the other day earning a car from my parents after he passed his drivers license. For me, I had just turned fifteen three months ago. My brother Caleb, was nine months older than me, but still in the same grade.

"Hey beautiful." A hear someone whisper from behind me. I turn around and force a smile. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Hi handsome. Nothing's wrong." He nods, unconvinced but then hands me a single rose with a ribbon tied neatly around it. "Oh my god you didn't have to." He pulls a box of chocolates out of his backpack and shoves it into my hands before I can decline.

"Yes I have to. Exactly one year ago, we met at this exact spot roughly around the exact same time." He says looking down at his watch and then to me. Tyler was the perfect boyfriend. Smart, athletic, the perfect combination of cute and nerdy at the same time, don't forget incredibly romantic. He had dark brown hair that is ruffle at the top of his head and turquoise eyes that compliment his face really well. He has two dimples that appear every time he smile. It makes me swoon every time he does. "So I was thinking, I want to take you to the Muse concert in December since you know, both you and I love that band and I think it would be a great opportunity for us because it would be a great thing to do to spend time with each other. I mean you don't have to if you don't want, it is totally up to you. I don't want to pressure you into doing anything you wouldn't like and-"

I kiss him on the cheek. "I'd love to. Thank you so much." He gives me a light smile and take my hand.

"I was talking to my mum the other day, she told me that she'd like to bring you shopping."

"Again? Every time I go with her, I end up feeling so guilty because she spends like a shit load of money on me." Don't get me wrong, I love shopping with Tyler's mom, she's one of those really cool moms, but no, I feel incredibly guilty when she always insist on paying for the clothes I buy.

"She's the CEO of Lions Gate, I'm sure she barely notices if there is a hundred thousand dollars missing in her bank account." I raise an eyebrow.

"Next weekend. But I have to pay for at least half of the stuff." I tell him.

"Okay, I'll tell her. I was thinking the other day-"

"Oh no! The world is going to freaking end." I joke.

"Oh shut up. Anyways, I realized that It took me four months for you to finally agree to go on a date with me."

"Mhm, and where are you going with this?"

"I was always curious why it took to so long for you to agree."

"Well, I never had a boyfriend before you so I was a little wary, and I always promised myself I would start dating until I was eighteen." I answer him slowly trying to read his expression.

His green eyes stare into mine, "I'm honored to be your first boyfriend." He grins at me. "Hey, let's get to first period. Don't want Ms. Sanders getting angry at us for being late."

"Yup." I take his hand. "Let's go."

* * *

Nothing really interesting happened during social studies. Our teacher went through a lecture about the Civil War and Lincoln's impact during the fighting against the North and South. To be honest, I thought it was fascinating, but I was still really bored at some points.

"Tris!" I turn around at the sound of my name. Marlene runs up to me holding a piece of paper.

"Two things. One, as student body president, you need to help organize the Winter formal coming up in a month. Cheerleading tryouts are after school." She informs me.

"Cheerleading tryouts? No, that was a one time thing I am not doing again. And plus that was a bet that I lost, so I had to do it. Anyways, I'm a dedicated swimmer as well." I trying decline the offer.

"Swimming? But it's like forty degrees outside! Fine how about if I ask Uriah out you have to tryout for cheerleading again." She purposes.

"Really? You'll actually ask him out?" She nods her head eagerly. "Nah, I'll still pass. He's probably going to do that eventually." I give her a wink. "Shh...you heard nothing."

"Okay fine. But you'll do it next year." I really don't want to. What's the point in doing cheerleading if it won't help you get into college. The only way is to be an high class, up in the leagues gymnast for colleges to actually look at you. Even then, you can't be an airhead.

"I'll think about it. Anyways, off to second period. I'll see you at lunch." I wave to her before walking the other direction to class.

* * *

I hear soft knocks on my window for few seconds and I immediately know that it's Tyler. He lives right next door and does this almost every night. And every night, it makes my heart swoon.

"Hey." I open my window.

"Hi beautiful, let's go on a walk." He takes me to a park in out neighborhood. We spend an hour talking, telling each other jokes, kissing and my favorite, just spending time with my lovely boyfriend. He's my heart and soul, and I'd have no idea what I'd do without him.

"G'night beautiful." He takes both of my hands before we part for the night.

"Goodnight handsome." I peck his lips lightly before parting from him.

* * *

 _One and a half years ago..._

I hear a soft knock on my window as I am studying for my ninth grade exams. A loud groan leaves my lips as I drag myself from my desk to the window door.

Tobias sits nonchalantly on the ledge waiting for me.

"How did you get up here?" I ask him.

"I'm spiderman and can climb up walls." He deadpans.

"Wait, really?"

"Tris, I was joking."

"Oh, really? I did not know that." I roll my eyes. "What are you doing here anyways?"

"Lauren and I got in a fight and I really need my best friend right now." He climbs into my bedroom.

"Great, just walk into my room. Okay then." I throw my arms in the air. As he plops down on my bed, I ask him what happened.

"I accused her of cheating. She denied it, and we got into a fight." I roll my eye, classic of her to do that. He's just too oblivious to notice anything. Ever since the two started dating a month ago, Lauren has been on my nerves. Always teasing and making fun of me. Of course Tobias would defend me, it just deep down I have huge feelings for him and I don't want to say anything about it.

"-and I think I love her."

 _What?_

"Y-you love her?" I choke out. "But- but you've only been dating her for a month."

"Yeah, but- it's just, I've never felt this connection with a girl before. Is that bad?"

No, besides the fact that Lauren's a two timing bitch that doesn't know how to don anything right. And that she has such an ego, and she's a fucking cheerleader whore that likes to fuck every god damn boy behind your back. I mean, if you were to look in the dictionary to search up what the word, ' _bitch_ ' means, the name Lauren would be next to it. So no, there is _nothing_ wrong with her.

"No, it's fine as long as you promise me one thing." I tell him.

"What?" His gaze stare into mine.

"That she'll never influence you to do or say bad things." I tell Tobias.

"Tris-" He takes my hand in his. "Don't worry, because that's never going to happen."

"You have to promise."

"I promise." He gives me once last hug before he makes his way out his window.

Tobias spends more and more time with her the next two months. He's changed. And it hurts-seeing him with another girl that is. In the hallways, he'd never come to my locker before first period. He's never walk with me to lunch. I would always see them making out in the halls of our school.

"I love you." He tells her one day. I past by him right as the words leave his mouth. She stares at him before kissing him again. "I love you too." She had replied.

We were never meant for each other. He had her and that was enough to satisfy his needs. He's gone.

"What are you wearing today? It looks like you got ran over my a truck and spat into the ground." I get slammed into the lock one day. "You lost Tris. He's mine now, and your not getting him back." I see him behind her staring into my blue eyes. "You're a loser. Go kill yourself. Right, Tobias?" She turns to him with an innocent smile.

"Yeah. You should just disappear. No one likes you anyways."

I'm silent at first, until I hear a loud scream. I don't realize it a first, but it was my scream. I throw Lauren into the ground while yelling profanities at Tobias.

"You promised! You freaking promised!" I croak. "You said you wouldn't change, and you did." I yank the bracelet he gave me in sixth grade and fling it at him. "I hate you. I hate you so much."

I don't remember what happened after because I'm running. Running as far as my tiny legs will wield me.

"Woah, there." I crash into someone's chest. "Oh god, are you okay?"

"Uhm-" I wipe my tears. "I'm fine. I'm fine." I say again.

"Yes your not. What happened?" He has green eyes and dark brown hair with some golden strands blended in. He's cute. His eyes are furrowed as he look for any signs of emotion in my eyes. Both of his hands are placed on my shoulders holding me for either falling or running away.

"I don't- I don't want to talk about it."

He sighs, "okay. But my name is Tyler. And you are?"

"Tris Prior."

"Well, it is nice to meet you Tris Prior."

"You too."

 **A/N: Hi guys! Many of you know that I wrote previous fan fictions, but I created a new story. My main account I use is on Wattpad katrinalee1678. That has more stories, go check that out. I hoped you enjoy this, and see you soon. Bye!**


	2. Part Two

Chapter 2

Tris' POV

 _I need to stop crying._

I always thought me and Tobias would end up together. I remember catching him stare at me in class. The smiles we would share every time we catch each other's attention. Sharing our feelings with each other when we were distraught. But of course, I was wrong. He had found someone else. Not someone who made him a better person, she made him worse.

I remember crying every night for several months mourning and feeling bad about myself for loosing him. I remember crying every time I saw him with Lauren. I remember him giving me sad looks every time we passed by each other in the halls.

I know he feels bad about what happened, but I don't care.

 _I don't care._

He's gone. He's gone and I can do nothing about it.

"You need a friend?" He sits next to me. I sit under a large redwood tree with my knees to my chest and my back against the trunk crying to myself.

"Uriah, hey. Uhm-" Sniff. "Yeah, I'd really like that."

"What's up?" After the two words, I break down again.

"I-I loved him and-and he broke my heart. I can't do this. I just want to go home." I cry into his chest. He stares at me for a while. "I miss him."

"Wait, are we talking about Tyler? Because if we are I am going to beat that little shit up."

"No! Tyler's fine. It's Tobias..." I say barely louder than a whisper.

He sighs, loudly. "Tris, you have to get over-" he stars.

"I can't get over it!" I snap. "Don't you get it? He-he broke my heart and just left. He left." I say again.

 _I seriously need to stop crying._

 _"_ I'm sorry." I lean my head against him chest. "I'm just so emotional and can be so dramatic sometimes."

"Well-" He starts. "I've known you since you were eight and that gave me a really long time to see your drama queen side. And that is quite often." He smiles.

I push him playfully. "Well thanks." I suddenly remember something. "So...about Marlene." He groans before I can even continue my sentence.

"Soon, okay? Just- patience my young child. Patience. I will ask her when I'm ready." His head hangs down.

"You better."

* * *

"You look like Rudolph." Tyler comments while lightly tapping my nose.

"Well, when its thirty-one degrees outside, you tend to get a little cold." I remark.

"Ha-ha, Miss Smarty-Pants. I think you look really adorable with you red nose. Now all we need is Christmas and some reindeer ears and you'd all be good."

"I'm Jewish." I tell him. "I don't celebrate Christmas, I celebrate Hanukah."

"Oh well I'm sorry. But, you'd still make a really cute reindeer." His gloved hands cup both my cheeks as he plants a soft kiss on my lips. His lips linger on for a while as a playful smile make its way into my face.

"I love you." He sounds confident. As if he thought about this for a while. And maybe he has, because I have to.

I bite my lips before replying. "I-I love you too." He grins again kissing me more confidently, and I love it.

 _I love him._

* * *

"Ahh.. Miss Prior what a surprise. What should I make of this?"

"Oh shut up, _Ezekiel_. Mar told me we had to plan the Winter formal together." I sit down in front of him.

"One- don't call me that, and two- lets get started."

I spend lunch hour with him planning as designing the interior of how we plan on decorating be gym. Streamers, balloon, disco ball, etc.

When we have a rough plan, I excuse myself to meet up with Tyler.

"So we'll continue this next week? And the. We can get the leadership class to help us decorate the gym. Sound good?"

"Sounds like a plan." I wave goodbye to Zeke and make my way to the cafeteria.

"Hey princess. How have you been?" I places a kiss to my cold cheek.

"If I'm the princess, where is the prince? Because I don't happen to see him." I joke.

"Ha. That was so funny, Tris, I forgot to laugh."

"I was only joking. But I'm dandy. How are you?" He scoots over as I plop down next to him.

"Gross. I for understand how you twos age to flirt and joke around all the time." I hear Marlene complain.

"Oh boo-hoo. Your just upset that Uriah hasn't asked you out yet." I smile at her.

"Oh shush. At least you have a super hot boyfriend, Tris."

Tyler grins widely. "Super hot, eh? Well I'm flattered. Hey, where were you just now?"

"Hm? Oh, I was with Zeke. We were planning for the formal."

"I see. Well, duty awaits. See you later, my beautiful Bea. Love you."

"Mm. You too." I hug him before he leaves to help out a teacher. He is a teacher assistant and earn some hours by doing so.

"I'm hella jealous of you two. Tyler is the sweetest guy ever and just- ugh. You two are my relationship goals." Mar bangs her head against the table. "I need to get a life."

"Mar-" I pat her back. "-He'll ask you soon, don't worry."

"Damn straight he better." I laugh.

"See you next period."

* * *

"You really need to get a life." I say munching on Doritos. We legs are hoisted up on the couch while my back is leaning against Tyler.

"Oh come on, it's really fun." His eyes are furrowed as he concentrates on the TV screen. His fingers move around the control pressing aggressively on buttons. "Dammit! He killed me!"

"He?"

"Yeah, I'm playing against Zeke, and so far he's winning. I've never lost a game against him." He says in a monotone manner.

"Mm. You want one?" I arm lifts up and puts a dorito in his face. He opens his mouth wide and pop the chip in his mouth.

"Thanks." It comes out muffled from chewing.

"You doing anything tomorrow?" I ask.

"The football players and I are going to have a barbecue you want to join?"

"I don't know..."

"Please. Mar and Uri will be there." His eyes gets wide as a small pout makes its way on his face."

Look away, Tris. Just don't look at him-

"Fine. Gosh damnit. I hate it when you do that." He grins really widely.

"It's after school, so meet me in the lot tomorrow." He informs me.

"Sometimes I really hate you." I go back to my original position in the couch and continue eating my chips.

"Mm. I love you too." His arms wrap around me and I am lulled into a nice nap.

"Wake up. I have to drop you home." I feel a poke to my cheek.

"Mmm. I live next door, ya' know?"

"I know, but I still want to walk you home." He takes my hand and pulls me up into a standing position.

"Aw-" I say while rubbing my eyes. "-I was pretty content on that couch."

"I know, but I don't want to upset your parents, and plus it's already 9:30."

"Okay." I say grabbing my bag. "Let's go." We walk like fifteen feet to the right to my house and he grabs my wrist and spins me around.

"Night." He leans on close. His head tilts to the side and his lips pucker a little.

I smile a little and pull back before he can actually kiss me. "Got to go, ya' know? My parents are going to be worried."

He groans and shakes his head. "Tease."

"Hey, if I recall, you were the one that wanted to walk me home so I wouldn't be late." I stuff my hands in my pocket. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Be out by 7:30."

"Kay!" I call out before I walk fully inside. When I look out the window, Tyler is staring out into the empty street grinning really wide. He shakes his head a few times, stuff his hands in his pant pocket and walks back to his house.

When I enter the kitchen my mother and father are both eating dinner when discussing work.

"Hey Sweet-Bea, how are you?"

"I'm well. How was your day?" They tell me everything that has happened throughout the day with me listening carefully and thoughtfully. I tell them what I did, and they return their full attention.

"You should go to bed." My further tell me. "You look really tired."

"Right." I drag myself upstairs and get ready for bed.

There's a note in my desk when I walk to my room.

 _Courtyard. 3:30-Tomorrow._

 _~Don't be late._

 **A/N: So far, I've written four chapter to this story and I'm trying to publish them as quick as possible. Anyway, enjoy and see you really soon! I promise this is a fourtris story.**


	3. Part Three

Chapter 3

Tobias' POV

Wednesday was always my favorite. It was the day I met Tris, it is the day I have football practice and it was alway the day Lauren and I would go on dates.

I met Tris in second grade when I was eleven years old. She and I had the same school teacher that year and sat beside each other for the first two months. I was terrified of her when we first met. She had a pout a her face and her eyes were in narrow slits glaring at everything that annoyed her. When I had accidentally lee owed her, my eyes widened and I apologized like a really scared child.

She laughed- for five minutes straight.

"It's fine." Her eyebrows furrowed. "You okay, you look a little shake bed up."

I answered her with an "I'm okay".

We clicked after that. We became great friends and still did.

 _Did_.

Until last year. Tris was someone who was always right. She had like a sixth sense. She was always able to determine people's personalities without even having an actual conversation with them. And she was right about Lauren.

 _So fucking right._

I was too stupid. Too dumb to realize that I was slowly pushing my best friend away.

"Hey." I feel the couch dip down and I remove my headphones.

"Hey Zeke. What's up? I place my laptop to the side.

"How are you holding up?"

 _Tris_.

I know what he's talking about without him even mentioning it.

"Fine. Look, I really don't need any shit about my stupidity right now." I start to say.

"I know. It's been a year. And yesterday you weren't alright. You left third period for fucks sake!" He's right. I was too much of a wreck to continue the rest of the day. "You need to get over her."

I'm silent at first. "I don't want to. It's not that I can't, I just don't want to."

"Wait, erase that. You need to make it up to her. When you two were best friends, you were actually happy. Now? I sometimes don't even know who you are anymore."

"I tried!" I throw my hands in the air. "I did, yesterday. "She told me to go away. I felt so bad, ya' know? It looked like she was going to cry. So I left."

He sighs. "You're obviously not trying hard enough."

He right. If I really want her to forgive me, then I'll have to try even harder. "You're right, unfortunately. I'll try. I also told her to meet me after school."

"Good. I have to meet up with her again. Winter formal. I'll see you at the barbecue."

"Yeah,5 o'clock. Don't be late!" I receive a glare from the librarian.

"Sorry." I return to my school work.

* * *

I sit beneath a tree waiting for Tris to arrive. Although it's only3:15, I make sure to be prompt.

I don't notice a short, blonde girl wandering the courtyard because I'm fiddling with my fingers thinking about what I'm going to say to her.

"Hey." I say startling her.

"That was you? It was you who left the note?"

I find myself nodding. "I just want to say that-"

She rolls her eyes. "What that your sorry? Look Tobias, I know you are. But what happened last year hurt, okay?"

"I know, and I-"

"You don't know!" She yells and I take a step back. "She said terrible things. That I should kill myself, that- that no one likes me. And what did you do? You agreed with her and said I should disappear." Her voice cracks. "And what hurt more was that you broke your promise. You said that nothing would change. You left me. You left." She wipes her eyes. "I always thought that you would end up with me, but I was wrong. I was so so wrong. I hope your happy with whomever. You deserve someone better than I ever was." She walks away crying loudly.

 _I hope your happy with whomever._

I'm not, not without you at least.

* * *

My house is crowded byseven o'clock. Zeke and Shauna are working on the grill while I set up the drinks area.

"How'd it go?" He asks when I hand him a clean rag.

"Terrible. She said some stuff that made me feel like a complete ass." I answer.

"Well, you are one." He flips an party.

"I can't believe you! You never told me it was at his house!" I hear hushed voices.

"I'm sorry, I just don't understand what's the problem with Tobias' house." _Tyler_.

"I'm sorry, ugh, I'm just moody." Tris. I know that voice from anywhere. "I'm going to look for Mar."

"Go have fun." He tells her.

"Yeah, love you."

"Mm." I hear him kiss her.

 _Kill me now._

"Go find Mar. I'll be with the guys if you need me."

"Kay, see you in a bit." I walk away before any of them can see me.

"Zeke." I take the spatula away from him. "I think I need your help."

"With what?"

"So let's say I really like someone-"

"Wait, don't tell me. Is it Tris? Because if it is your screwed and I'm just going to walk away before I get dragged into this mess." He says backing away.

I never realized my feelings for her until she was truly gone. I broke up with Lauren a week after realizing the true side to her. She was a bitch. She was so happy that we ended our friendship.

 _"I can't believe you two were ever friends. I mean she's so ugly and stupid. She's such a loser and-"_

 _"Will you stop it?! She's none of those things. If anyone were that, it would be you!"_

 _"I can't believe you would say that!"_

 _"No! I can't believe you, you used to be so much nicer. I think we're done."_

 _"Wait, done? You can't do that, I-I"_

 _"Whoops, just did."_

I never felt so free. Well, until reality hit me and I remembered that Tris was gone.

"Look Tobias, I can't always be there to help you fix your problems. You need to do them yourself. Your sixteen for fucks sakes! Your not a little boy anymore your a growing man. And it's not my problem that you were an idiot back then. You need to get it in your thick skull that she loves someone else and you can't go around ruining her happiness." Zeke looks at me straight in the eye.

"What if she's not meant to be with him? What if she's meant to be with me?"

 _God, I sound so cocky_.

"I'm not sure the answer to that question is, but if you two were meant to be with each other then time will come."

"You sure?"

"Yes, definitely sure."

 **A/N: Yay! Chapter three. I've grown a liking to this story. I'll see you next time, maybe soon, like real soon.**


	4. Part Four

Chapter 4

Tris' POV

"Formal?" He holds a single rose in front of me anticipating for an answer.

I take the rose. "Yes, you idiot. Now kiss me."

He places both arms on my waist and drags me towards him.

"You're so sweet." I pull back from him.

We stand in the middle of the football field. This morning, he told me to walk to school earlier than I usually do and when I did, there was a trail or flowers leading up to this very point.

It's still freezing outside. Little droplets of snow start to fall from the clouds. Tyler gently caresses my red cheeks with his hands that are engulfed with mittens. He wears a beanie over his dark brown hair. His dark gray sweatshirt is under a turquoise vest, while he wears light brown khaki pants.

Tyler tucks a strand of my blonde behind my ear and smiles. "Beautiful."

"Mm. I'd love to stay and enjoy this moment with the two of us, but it's freezing out here and I really wouldn't want to catch a cold." I stand on my tippy toes and give him a quick peck on the lips.

"You're right, let's go back inside." He takes my right hand in both of his and we walk together into the hallways of the school.

"I have a meeting with student council during lunch and also with the leadership class. We are setting up the gym for tomorrow."

"Okay, that's fine. But I'll see you after lunch?"

"Yes, that is correct." I turn to him.

"Good, because seeing your face makes my day." He smiles and I bit my lip.

 _He's so sweet_.

"I want to take you on a date this Saturday."

"But as I recall, you are practically forcing me to go shopping with your mom." I grin at him.

"I know, but my mum can help you find an outfit to wear for the date."

"True. Your mom is too nice."

"It's because she loves you. You're like the daughter she never had." He pokes my nose.

"Well, when you have three sons, it tends to do that to a mother." I tell him while nudging him slightly.

"Tris!" I turn around and is body slammed into Marlene.

"Oh shit." I mutter. "What's up?"

"He asked me out!" She screams while jumping up and down.

"He asked you out?!" I scream just as shocked as she is.

"He did!" She screams again.

"It's about fucking time. He ask you to formal?"

"Yes."

"Kay good, because this idiot asked me also." I say smiling at Tyler. He smiles back. "Want to come over a few hours prior to the dance?"

"Yes, I'd like that. Hey, I'll see you later."

"Kay, bye Mar."

I turn back to Tyler. "See you after lunch." I kiss him real quick before making my way to first period.

I had a quiz for first period, it was quite easy if you'd ask me. The test was in a format of multiple choice and fill in the blank (something that everyone one loves).

It's lunch period by the time I know it, and I find myself in the gym before anyone else is.

"Hey." I turn around immediately.

"Hi Zeke. I'm just waiting for everyone to show up." I tell him.

"Well, I'm glad you showed up on time you know as commissioner of events and all." He says.

I laugh at his awkwardness. "You seem tense, what's up?"

"What me? It's not like my friend likes you or anything." I covers.

 _Wow, real settle_.

"Okay...I'm just going to ignore that comment. Let's get started shall we?" I ask the group of people that arrives in the gym a few moments later.

We spend the short lunch period decorating the gym with lights, streamers, and anything winter related.

"Zeke, can you hang the candy canes somewhere?" I hold out a box filled with peppermint candy canes.

"We should like out a Christmas tree in the corner." Zeke suggests.

"Well one, it's not a Christmas formal, it's a winter formal. Two, I'm Jewish, I don't celebrate Christmas. Three, I'm really lazy and I don't want to put extra work into this. And plus, my back really aches from bending down this much." I list.

"Well I tried. We are pretty much done here. And we have ten minutes to spare. I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving, I'm going to eat lunch." He leaves the gym with the rest of the crew following behind.

"I bought you lunch." I hear Tyler from behind me.

When I turn around, I see him holding a brown bag.

"Thanks." I say grabbing the bag. "I really appreciate that."

"It's really nice. You guys really out done yourselves." He compliments while looking around the room.

"Well, that was the point." I turn around to face him and place both my arms on his shoulder. His arms snake around my waist bringing me closer to him. My cheek presses against his chest while he rests his chin on top my my head.

"Your amazing, you know?" I feel him say against my hair.

"I know, but your even amazinger." I poke his chest.

"Is that even a word?" I feel his chest vibrate from laughter.

"No, at least I don't think so." I smile.

"I'm hungry. Come, let's eat.

* * *

"This one?" Mar holds up a dress.

"God, no. I would not be able to survive a dress with that many sparkles." I shake my head. "Hum, this one?" I hold out a purple dress for her to see.

"Too short." She criticizes.

"We suck at this." I scan the isle of dress looking for one to wear for tomorrow. I let out a grunt of frustration. "I give up, I can just borrow a dress from my mom, right?"

"That's true. Your mom does have a lot of dresses." Mar points out.

"Let's just do that. I can find you a dress as well."

We leave the store empty handed while making our way back to Mar's car.

When we arrive to my house, we ask my mother is we can look through her closet of "fancy dresses".

"Oh my god. Look Tris." She holds up a long white dress that flows all the way to the ground. The sleeves are shaped in a triangle-like manner that would cover a small patch of my shoulders.

I find a dress for Mar that stops mid-thigh. The top half is a silver/white color that is jeweled up with "jewels". In the middle of the top and bottom half, there is a silver lining like thing that wraps around the waist. It's pretty.

"I guess we found our dresses." She smiles while examining her dress.

"That we did. Uhm, come back tomorrow and we will get ready together, kay?"

"Okay, Tris. I'll come around six?"

"Six? Yeah, that's perfect. We can walk to Ty's house next door." I suggest.

"Perfect. See you tomorrow." She makes her way out.

"Bye! Drive safe."

"Bye." The door shuts behind her and I make my way back to my room.

 **A/N: Please review and let me know what you think! I love it when you guys review and I love all the nice things you have to** say. **See you soon!**


	5. Part Five

Chapter 5

Tris' POV

 _Day of the dance_...

 _(Part one of four)_

School dances are always the hot topic of the school, especially the day of. Not only is today the winter formal, tomorrow is also the first day of winter break.

December is always one of the most exciting months of the school year. One, it's the end of the semester. Two, the dance (which is really exciting since us sophomores don't go to prom). And three, it's almost Christmas and we all want to go to break.

I wander the halls looking for any signs of my boyfriend.

"Mar!" I exclaim when I see her.

She turns around. "Yes?"

"Have you seen Ty? I need to ask him something?" I ask her.

"No, sorry. I haven't. Have you tried calling him?" She suggests.

"Sure, was he not in first period?" I ask.

"Nope."

I quickly dial his number and wait for an answer.

"Hello?" A voice cracks from the other line.

"Hey, you okay?" I say worriedly.

"I'm fine. I caught the flu, apparently-" I hear coughing in the background.

"Dave and I are both sick." Dave is his older brother.

"Oh my gosh, that's terrible. Hey look, I hope you feel better and all. Mar and I can swing by after school and bring some soup or something." I say.

"You don't have to-" He starts.

"Nonsense." I scold.

"I feel bad, you know? Missing the dance and all. You were really excited and I just-"

"Hey, don't worry. I'd rather you be healthy than go to a stupid dance." I say wholeheartedly.

"What are you talking about? You are going to that dance whether you like it or not. I'm fine, I can go." Tyler objects.

"We'll talk later. I have to get to second period okay?"

"Kay. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you more." I hang up the phone and sigh.

"You okay?" Mar furrows her eyebrows.

"Tyler's sick. I'm thinking about stopping by the market to buy him soup or something." I tell her.

"Yeah, of course. We can drive but after school." She nods sheer head in agreement.

"Thanks, Mar."

"Don't sweat it. See your later."

"Bye!"

* * *

"Would you rather poop shit that taste like donuts or fart farts that smell like peppermint candy?" Uriah throws a ball against the wall and catches it.

"Like you poop out donuts? Or are they actually poop that taste like it?" I ask with my back leaning against the library wall.

"You poop donuts." He clarifies.

"I'd go with the donuts." I answer.

"Yeah, me too." He says after a moment of silence. "Hey Tris, did you hear the new gossip going around the school?" He sits upright inside of laying down on his back like he was just moments ago.

"What?"

"Apparently Tobias is going to the dance with a girl." He nods his head.

I roll my eyes.

 _Like I care_.

"And this concerns me because...?"

"Zeke told me he tried apologizing to you a few weeks back." He says getting straight to the point.

"That he did." I point out.

"Look, you have to forgive him at some point. It's been over a year and you can't even get yourself to forgive what he did to you. Do you at least miss him?"

"No, yes. Maybe- no. I do." I stutter.

"The first step is forgiving." You archaic an eyebrow.

I take a deep breath and sigh. "My mother always told me that forgiving people is a way to start again. But, I don't want to forgive. I want to forget. Forget that he even exists and forget that he was even my best friend."

"You can't do that." He protests.

"Why do you even care anyways?" I snap.

He mutters something under his breath. "There are always those people that will always come first in your life. It's usually family, close friends. And last year, for you, it was always Tobias. I remember you coming to school one day totally heart broken and down. It was because of him, wasn't it? After that day, you never talked to him, you treated him as he didn't exist. I had to beg Zeke for him to tell me what was up. You can't run away from your problems, Tris. It's always going to be there unless you do something about it."

"I don't need him. I have Tyler and you and Mar, and also Zeke. I also have Chris."

"He's always going to be there. Zeke is his best friend remember? Tyler and him are on the football team together. And plus, Chris is on vacation with her family right now, so you can't really have her help right now."

"I hate that your right. But I don't need him. It's not like he's going to be back into life or anything."

"I don't believe that." He says so quietly I almost don't catch it. "He's always there for you, you're just too oblivious to notice a damn thing."

"Ouch. You're right though. And thanks."

"Yeah, I'll swing by to pick you two ladies up." He starts to get up.

"I don't know if I want to go to the dance anymore." I start to say.

"Bull, you've been going on about how excited you are for this dance."

"I know, but Ty's sick."

"At least go, for me and Mar." He pleads.

"I'll think about it, Uri."

"Good, now let's get to class before lunch period ends."

* * *

Marlene is waiting for me by her car when I exit the school building.

"I pity you Tris. It must be terrible to not be able to drive." She comments.

"I'll live. So, we going to the supermarket first? We can go to like Molly Stones pick up some soup and dinner along the way."

Instead, we end up stopping by Safeway and we buy a large size of chicken noodle soup and some sushi for me and Mar.

I tell Mar to go back to my house and park in the driveway. We then walk to Ty's house next door and wait for the door to open.

"Hi girls! Come in, come in."

Tyler's mother opens the door. "Hi Margaret. We bought some soup for Ty and Dave."

"How thoughtful of you two. They're both in their rooms right now. Just up the stairs."

I lead Marlene to Tyler's and Dave's room up the stairs.

When we walk into the their room, the two boys are buried under a series of blankets that are piled on top of them.

"Knock knock." I say opening the door wide.

"You made it. Oh hey Mar." Marlene smiles at Tyler.

"Aw my poor baby. You look so pale." I sit next to him on his bed while Mar and Dave make small talk. "How're you holding up?" I ask while moving some hair off to the side of his forehead.

"I'm cold." He whines.

"Here, I bought some soup. I can go get you some-"

"No!" He stops me. "Stay here." He makes space for me on the bed and I skip under the blankets. Since his temperature is so hot, his body is releasing extra hot heat.

I start to sweat under the sheets since it's so hot. "How's you temperature?"

"101.3"

"I can stay here if you want. Skip the dance and all."

"No, you can't do that. You spent so much time working on the dance. I'm fine I can go-"

"No no no no no. You are staying here and resting."

He groans. "I'll stay home and rest if you stop worrying about me and go to the dance."

I sit there deciphering for a moment. "Fine."

"Good, now leave. You and Mar have a dance to get ready for."

"Okay." I smile and kiss his slightly cold and damp forehead you get when you have a temperature. "Love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

"I'm offended. There was a dance and no one told me about it until I called Uriah." I see a figure sitting calmly on my bed.

"Christina!" Mar and I exclaim.

"Hey girls, how are ya?" She smiles at us.

"Great. How was your trip with the fam to Europe?" Marlene asks.

"It was great. There were lots of cute boys. I even got one's number." She winks at me. "Enough about me, we have a dance to get ready for. And don't worry I bought my own dress." She says holding up a bag. "I also bought some curling irons."

I shake my head at her. "Let's get ready then."

We spend the next half hour talking and getting ready at the same time.

"I found this really cute hair do for you Tris, I think it will totally match your dress and all. It's just going to look that good. Mar, I think we should stick with curling and waterfall braid." After I fit myself into my dress, Christina starts to curl my hair while Mar does her.

"So tell me about you and Uri." I tell Mar.

She grins widely. "Ahh, it was so cute. So I was going to fourth period after lunch, right? And then Uriah came up to me and gave me a box of donuts. It was incredibly cheesy but it said, 'I DONUT know how to ask you, but will you be my GF?' And I said yeah..."

"Figured." I smile.

"Huh. I never would have thought that Uriah would be the cute type of guy." Christina states. "Kay, done." She places the curling iron down on the bedpost. She ends up grabbing a whole bunch of hair pins and doing a lot of complicated things with my hair.

"Damn Tris, you look hot af." Marlene compliments.

"Damn right you do." Chris smiles at her work. Christina braided my hair into a fish tail and made a bun with the hair at the bottom. She place a couple small flowed in the bun, and adds a dash of makeup to my face.

"You girls ready?" Chris ask.

"Wait, what about you?" Mar asks.

"Don't worry. You'll see. I'm planning on making a grand entrance during the dance." I roll my eyes at her silliness.

Of course she'd do something like that.

"We're taking my car." Chris shouts while grabbing her bag and her keys.

It's a five minute drive to school. The school is packed my the time we enter. And when we do, we make our way to Uriah. We told him not to pick us up and that we'd just meet him here.

"Hey." He brings Mar in for a hug.

"What the- where did Chris go..." I start.

"Hello Chicago High!" A voice screams into the mic.

 _Oh, there she is_.

"That's right bitches, I'm back." I'm surprised that no teacher is reprimanding her right now. "We have many performers today for the night, so let's get started. Come on up Tris!"

 _Wait, what?_

 **a/n: I still have two weeks of school, unfortunately for me. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the first part, and see you soon!**


	6. Part Six

Chapter 6

Tris' POV

 _Day of the dance..._

 _(Part two of four)_

Zeke was right. Tobias did end up going to the dance. It's not like I care anyways. What is he going to do, like go up to me and kiss me?

Ha, yeah right. The least I can do is try my best to ignore him. But maybe Uri is right. There are times when you should just forgive and forget.

 _Maybe_...

I'm going to kill Christina later for this. But at the same time, I don't understand how she changed so quickly into a dress.

I have to drag myself up to the stage. "So if you guys see a dead body in a few hours, it may or may not be Christina. And I may or may not have been the one to kill her." I hear a soft crowd of laughter. "I have a song that really expresses my feelings. People do stupid things and you have to learn to forgive them. But this is what I felt last year, and it may be a little harsh. But you have to let your feelings out at some point, right?" I out the mic into the little stand thing as take a place in front of the piano.

I start:

 _No more second chances, no more plastic lies_

No more giving me reasons to make me have to say goodbye

 _You only live once, no second chances_

She says I go from The Hulk to Mr Romantic

They call me saying

I've been Ghost and I pull up in the Phantom

I'm bout to get the money moving, I can't sit still, I'm a leave you standing

 _Everything we had is all gone_

Not one more chance, I moved on

I'm doing me so you do you,

You do you

 _Cause this is my only life_

So I've got to let you go

You should've been only mine

So I'm walking out your door

 _Singing no more second chances_

No more plastic lies

No more giving me reasons to make me have to say goodbye

 _She only want my Ricotta_

Ace of spades and vodka

She trying to be my flame like Waka Flocka what the fucka

GPS in my phone, the bug in the house like she a stalker

She trying to lock me down with a pie like she's some Betty Crocker

 _No more games, no old news_

Putting new words to an old tune

Just get out the box will I love you

I love you yea

 _Cause this is my only life_

So I've got to let you go

You should've been only mine

So I'm walking out your door

 _Singing no more second chances_

No more plastic lies

No more giving me reasons to make me have to say goodbye

Uh, trying to say I'm crazy

But it's you that chased me

Ain't no black and white,

This gray's a different shade of shady

Remember when I caught your fingers creepin' on me

Texting her at midnight, boy you test the phone geek

And I looked right past it

Like it was old news

And I told myself

Why should I doubt you?

About to turn the tables on you

I'm bout to turn the tables on you

 _Singing no more second chances_

No more plastic lies

No more giving me reasons to make me have to say goodbye, bye, bye

 _Baby please don't go_

Is there anything I can say

No no no no no, baby, please don't go

Yea, I'm begging you, say goodbye

Tell me is it a crime of mine

To change my mind

No more giving me reasons to make me have to goodbye bye bye

 _Say goodbye_

My eyes find Tobias' sitting in a table with Zeke and a few other guys.

 _I got to let go._

"You did really well, girl! That was such a sad song though. Did something happen to you and Tyler?" Chris asks worriedly.

"Uhm, no. It wasn't about him." She doesn't ask anymore questions so I'm assuming she knows who I'm talking about.

Christina and I meet Marlene and Uriah at a table. I sit myself besides Uriah.

"That was great, Tris!" He exclaims.

"Thanks." I mutter. "I'm going to get something to drink, be right back." I excuse myself and make my way to the food table grabbing myself a cup of juice.

The gym is crowded with people dancing with friends or their girl/boyfriend. The air is humid and I can already feel myself sweat.

If only Tyler was here.

It's hard to get through the crowd having to push my way through it. I mKe my way back to my friends and join in on their conversation.

"Hey Tris, do you, uhm, want to dance or something." A tall light brown headed guy approaches me with a sweet smile. I don't want to be rude so I accept his request and I make my way with him to the dance floor. You know how when guys ask you to dance, and you slow dance to a song, but it's incredibly awkward? I sway to the beat of the song with the boy, Will, and we stare at everything but each other's faces. Every time we make eye contact, we instantly turn our gaze to somewhere else. My arms drop down from being on his shoulder and his let go of my waist.

"I'll see you around." He says awkwardly.

"You too." I quickly scurry off relieved from having to dance with him. Don't get me wrong, he seemed nice and all, I'm just very awkward sometimes. And what was I suppose to do? Tell him a joke?

"Hey Tris." I see Shauna, Zeke's girlfriend wave at me.

"Hey what's up?"

"Not much, you look so lonely. Where is that hot hunk of man you have?" She tease.

"He's sick, unfortunately." I reply with a sad smile.

"Oh sweetie, that sucks. Well go dance, have fun!" She ushers me into the dance floor right as another slow song comes on. She pushed me harder than anticipated and I crash into someone.

 _Tobias_.

Well, damnit.

"Oof, sorry!"

He stares at me for a while. "Oh uh, it's fine."

"I'll get going-"

"Do you want to dance?" I stare as he licks his lips, slowly."

"I have to-"

"Tris, I know the song was about me. I'm sorry, but just, if you won't forgive at least give me one last thing to remember you goodbye." His eyes stare into mine and I reluctantly agree.

Tobias gently takes my hand and drags me into the crowd of people on the dance floor. My arms wrap around his neck and his snakes his arms on my waist.

 _I never thought that you'd be the one to hold my heart._

 _But you came around and you knock me off the ground from the start._

 _You put your arms around me and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go._

 _You put your arms around me and I'm home_.

He sings softly to the song swaying us both. I inch closer to him leaning my head against his chest and his against the top of mine.

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth.

And I never opened up I never truly love till you put your arms around me and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go.

 _I hope that you see through my walls. I hope that you catch me cause I'm all ready falling._

 _I'd never let our love get so close._

 _You put your arms around me and I'm home._

It feels so natural, doing this. The way my body perfectly fits against his. How his long arms drape around my waist like it was meant to fit around his grasp. How the crook of my neck was made just so his head can be rested against.

No. _No_!

But, it's like a million emotions are running back to me cursing ever mean thought I ever thought about him. Every bad things disappear and is being replaced my something different.

 _Something different..._

Coming back to reality, I see his face inching closer and all I want to do is close the gap.

Close it. _Close it, Tris_!

I pull back and stare at him wide-eyed. What is wrong with you Tris!

"I never said I didn't forgive you." I walk away before anything can happen, no run away.

The only thing I can think is; _you put your arms around me and I'm home_.

 _What were you thinking? He was going to kiss you!_


	7. Part Seven

Chapter 7

Tobias' POV

 _Day of the dance..._

 _(Part three of four)_

I never understood why guys even bothered to go to school dances. I understand if they have a girl or possibly boyfriend, but for me? I always hated it.

Until, I actually got a girlfriend. I remember Lauren would drag me to dances and I would understand why guys bothered to go. They had someone to go with. But still, it still wasn't fun going with her.

But now, I actually have an excuse to go.

 _She's going_.

Yes, eventhough Tris' boyfriend is going to be there, I'm going because of her.

"Yo Tobias!" I spin around and Zeke coming towards me.

"Guess what I heard from Mar?" He places his hands on his knees and catches a breath.

"What?"

"So apparently Tris called Tyler after first period and he's sick, so he won't be going to the dance." Zeke informs me.

A jolt of excitement runs through me. Although it's cruel to say that I'm glad he's sick...I'm sort of glad he's sick.

"Oh." Is all I say.

"Look man, I'm going to go to class. I'll see you later." He pats my back before making his way down the hall and towards second period.

* * *

Sweat creeps down my neck as I lift.

 _Twelve._

 _Thirteen._

 _Fourteen._

The gym is almost empty. Besides the few two other boys and one girl, I stand in the corner looking at myself in the mirror as I lift another weight.

 _Fifteen._

 _Sixteen._

My mother never told me why she left. But I know it was because of my father. The malicious being deserved what he got.

To rot in jail.

After being trailed in court that lasted for about a week, my mother showed up at my house begging for forgiveness.

 _"Please Tobias, you have to understand." I begged._

 _"Just go...go."_

She called me a few weeks later. I had let her explain her so called reasoning. More like excuse to me. It took me a while. I had finally excepted the fact that she had done it for her own good. Marcus could have killed her and she needed to get away. But deep down inside me, some part still want to scream, yell at her for being to illogical.

Maybe it was for the greater good. Maybe Tris and I were never meant to be together and this is the way faith is punishing me for ever being an ass to her.

I'm an ass.

 _Seventeen._

 _Eighteen._

"Woah, you are going to wear yourself out if you keep lifting." Zelenograd hands me a towel. I grab it from him and wipe the sweat that is all over my face.

"I've fallen and I can't get up." I say vaguely.

He sighs and takes a seat on one of the machines. "I don't know what to say to you. You have to get over yourself. She has someone and you can't ruin what they have."

"But-but"

"Tobias!" He scolds. "You lost your chance. You fucking washed it away. You made a stupid mistake of choosing Lauren over Tris. And Tris even told you she was bad new!. And what did you do? You ignored her and told her to disappear and kill herself. Sometimes I'm glad you two didn't become a thing, because you and I both know she deserves better."

It hurt, but he's right. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have exploded I like that. But it's not me you should be apologizing to."

"I tried!" I defend.

"You did try. But you didn't try hard enough."

* * *

Zeke adjusts my bow tie before we leave to pick up Shauna. The car ride is mostly silent during the duration to her house.

When we do arrive, Zeke get out of the car and walks to the front door with me trailing a few feet behind him. He holds a bouquet of flowers in his hand along with a small grin.

"Hey." He quickly kisses her cheek and hand her the roses.

Shauna sees me and smile. "Hey Tobias." She turns her attention back to Zeke. "Thank you for the roses, Zeke. That was very sweet of you."

Zeke walks Shauna, though she doesn't need the escorting, she accepts it. I get into the driver's seat and start the car. The couple sits behind me constantly muting to each other. Sometimes I really hate being the third wheel.

The drive to school is quick. When we get out of the car, Zeke, Shauna, and I immediately enter the crowded gym filled with people.

"Hey Tobias!" One of the senior football players motions me to come towards him and his other friends.

"Sup?" I nod my head.

"Have you seen Tris?" I clench my fist.

"No, why'd you ask?" I say as calmly as I can.

"Rumor she looks freaking hot and Tyler not here, so I'm assuming loads of guys are going to ask her to dance." Ryan explains.

"Oh." I say flatly.

"Hey yo Derrick, I dare you to ask Tris to dance." Ryan points to a figure in a white dress.

It's as my eyes do a double take. First, they squint together due to the fact that I'm not wearing my contacts, but then they focus into the figure in the white dress, I know it's Tris.

She looks amazing. No, amazing is an understatement. It's as the Stars have given up shinning and they all let Tris take their place in the sky. She's like the brightest star, always out shining every last one of them.

Tris wears a long dress that falls all the way to the floor. Her hair is out up real fancy and just everything about her screams some sort of attention.

"Damn." I hear one of the guys say from behind me.

Yes, damn it is.

Her eyes light up when her attention is set towards her friends sitting at a table away from ours. She delicately strides over to them and end up talking about something.

I want to- need to make things right with her.

Not expecting her presence, Christina immediately shows up at the center of the stage wearing a fancy dress. I thought she was in vacation.

"Hello Chicago High!" She shouts thought the microphone. "That's right bitches, I'm back. We have many performers today for the night, so let's get started. Come on up Tris!"

I feel Zeke's presence next to me as my eyes frantically search for the blonde girl I and head over heals over.

The gym is quiet only able to hear the clicks of the heels she is wearing.

"So if you guys see a dead body in a few hours, it may or may not be Christina. And I may or may not have been the one to kill her." A few people laugh. "I have a song that really expresses my feelings. People do stupid things and you have to learn to forgive them. But this is what I felt last year, and it may be a little harsh. But you have to let your feelings out at some point, right?"

She starts singing while accompanying herself with the piano and I immediately know this song.

No More Second Chances by MKTO. She and I would always listen to their albums because she forced me to.

A pang of guilt hits me several times and I can't stand being here.

I can't stand this.

She finishes the last line and her gaze meets mine. My eyes bore into hers until she scurries off the stage and walks back to her friends.

I hate myself.

 **A/n: So like I have a sore throat and I've tried everything to try to get rid of it. And it's probably the worst I've ever had. It hurts like hell. Do you guys have any advice on how to get rid of sore throats? I've tried honey tea with lemon, steamy showers, the sore throat candies, pills- for like colds and stuff, salt water gurgle, eataing a lot of vitamin c, ugh, and I even searched online and it says quick and instant. Well NOPE. I hate this. And I'm going to an amusement park tomorrow for my eighth grade graduation thing and I'm probably going to be screaming during the roller coatsers and I want to get rid of my sore throat so it won't hurt tomorrow. Any advice? Anyways, I hoped you enjoy and see you guys soon!**


	8. Part Eight

Chapter 8

Tobias' POV

 _(Part four of four)_

 _Three years ago_...

"Okay, you pop the popcorn and I'll make the smoothie. Ready? Go!" I make my way to the upper cabinet and grab the box of popcorn bags. I watch as Tris grabs the necessary ingredients to make the smoothie she wanted.

Strawberries, blueberries, banana, yogurt, juice...

"What?" She asks when she catches me staring at her.

"Huh? Oh, nothing." I turn my attention back to microwaving the popcorn bag.

I don't know what's happening to me. It's like my brain is noticing all the small details about Tris. Her long blonde hair, her enhancing blue eyes. The way her eyebrows furrow whenever she's concentrating hard on something like right now. All the cute curves on her body...

 _Stop it!_

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" She stares at me.

"Uh, what? I don't- I'm not, what?" I stumble. Wow, Tobias.

"Oh ok. Well I finished the smoothie. Here try it." The takes a spoon full of the drink and shove it in my mouth for me to try.

I smack my lips together getting a better taste of the drink. "Wow, that's really good."

"Okay, good. This is for you." She hands me a glass full of the smoothie."

"I have the popcorn, now let's watch the movie." I put in the movie The Breakfast Club and Tris and I sit next to each other on the couch.

"Can you hand me that blanket next to you?" I grab the blanket and lay it over the to of us. "Or you can just do that."

Inch by inch, my body goes closer to hers until he are side by side together. What surprises me the most is when she places both her legs on my lap.

"Hey, Tobias? What's that on your lap?" I lower my head to see what she was talking about and when I do, she slaps the bottom of my face and laughs. "I got you!"

"Ha-ha, very mature, Tris. What are you three?"

"No, I'm-" She shrieks loudly when I tickle her stomach. "St-stop!" I laugh at her when she falls off the couch but instantly stop when she pulls me by the arm and makes me land on top of her. I stare into her eyes for a while until something clicks.

 _I like Tris_.

My arms hold me up from the ground as I start to lean in. Her eyes stare into mine until my lips meet hers.

 _My lips meet hers! I am kissing Tris. Oh my-_

"Mm. You're a good kisser." I laugh at her awkwardness. "Tobias-" She sighs. "I don't, I don't want a relationship right now."

"I'll wait."

"No, don't. You probably don't even have feelings for me. It was in the spur of the moment."

"But-"

"Don't, let's just watch the movie, okay?" I nod.

 _It was in the spur of the moment._

I kept telling myself that for a while, maybe that's why I lost her. I could of had her in seventh grade, I had lost my chance then.

 _I'm an idiot._

* * *

 _Present Day..._

My gaze in fixated on Tris as she quick she quickly scurries of the stage and walks back to her friends.

"You look so depressing. Go dance with someone." Zee hits his shoulder against mine.

"I really don't want to."

"One girl and we can leave." He bargains. "And plus, it looks like you have a fan club over there." He points to the group of girls that are looking towards us.

I groan loudly. "One dance."

"Have fun, Toby!" He calls.

"Shut up, Ezekiel."

"Tobias!" Christina sees me. "You want to dance?"

"Uhh..sure." I place my hands on her sides.

"You are too obvious." She laughs.

"What do you mean obvious?" I ask her.

"I see you looking at her all the time. It's like your undressing her with your eyes." She teases.

"Am I really that obvious? I actually thought I've been hiding it pretty well." I lower my voice.

"I've known since like seventh grade. So yes, you are pretty obvious. You know she has a boyfriend right?"

"I've known for like eight months." I sigh.

"Ask her to dance." My eyes find Tris dancing with another boy. The sight almost makes me burst out laughing. Tris is looking away from the boy, anything from meeting their gaze.

"That's not a good idea." I really don't want to.

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?" She whines again. "If you don't ask her, I will personally tell her myself the thing that happened in eighth grade when you-"

"Alright, alright! You don't need to remind me. I'll ask her." I give in.

"Okay good." She pulls away. "Look, go ask right now."

I make my way through the crowd looking for her. God knows where she went. I crash into a small body and my hands grip onto who I crashed into to makes sure they don't fall.

"Ouch." I mutter to myself really softly.

"Oof, sorry!"

I stare at her for a while. "Oh uh, it's fine."

"I'll get going-"

"Do you want to dance?" I lick my lips.

"I have to-" She starts.

"Tris, I know the song was about me. I'm sorry, but just, if you won't forgive at least give me one last thing to remember you goodbye." I stare into her eyes and she her after a few seconds modding her head, slowly.

I gently takes her hand and drags her into the crowd of people on the dance floor. My arms wrap around her waist and I feel hers snake around my neck.

 _I never thought that you'd be the one to hold my heart._

 _But you came around and you knock me off the ground from the start._

 _You put your arms around me and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go._

 _You put your arms around me and I'm home._

I sing softly to the song swaying us both. I smile a little when I feel her inch closer to me leaning her head against my chest and mine against the top of hers.

 _I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth._

 _And I never opened up I never truly love till you put your arms around me and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go._

 _I hope that you see through my walls. I hope that you catch me cause I'm all ready falling._

 _I'd never let our love get so close._

 _You put your arms around me and I'm home._

It feels so natural, doing this. The way my body perfectly fits against hers. How the curve of her body fits to mine like a puzzle piece. I've missed this.

I never want this moment to disappear.

I feel my head inching closer to her, reminding me of what I did three years ago.

 _She was my first kiss._

Just as our lips are about to meet, she pulls pack from our position wide-eyed. I scold myself.

 _What were you thinking? She has a boyfriend, Tobias!_

Before she walks away, I hear her say, "I never said I didn't forgive you."

* * *

I find Zeke and Shauna sitting next to each under our school's fountain. They smile as they whisper things to each other.

"Hey." They both look up.

"You looked even more depressed than before. What happened?" Zeke can read me so easily.

"Well, when you told me to dance with someone, I did. First Christina found me and she asked me to dance. She ended up talking to me about how obvious I show my feelings for Tris." I am cut off.

"To be fair, you are pretty obvious." Shauna tells me.

"Anyways, she then blackmailed me into asking Tris to dance. So, I did. We crashed into each other, literally, and then I asked her. We slow danced, and I almost kissed her." I ready myself from scolding that will come from Zeke.

"YOU WHAT?!" He jumps up. "She has a boyfriend Tobias! You can't just. UGH. I give up! I flipping give up!" He sits back down. "Just- what happened next?"

"She pulls back from me, and then she said something along the lines of 'I never said I don't forgive you', well something like that. What is that supposed to mean?"

Shauna and Zeke share a puzzled look. "I don't know, honestly. I've had a long night, let's go home."

I send Shauna home first and then Zeke. When I arrive back to my house, I mutter my mom a soft 'hello' and drag myself up the stairs into my room.

I let myself fall asleep in a matter of seconds lulling my body into a welcoming pit of darkness.

I've fallen for Tris, and I cannot get up.

 **A/N: Thank you! Thank you so much for the advice for my throat! It was helpful and it's almost gone now! Thank you for the kind reviews and see you guys soon!**


	9. Part Nine

Chapter 9

Tris' POV

(Third person- eighth grade)

Tobias stands in front of the mirror dressing himself. He grabs a handful of gel and puts his hair up.

"Hey hot stuff." He winks at himself. "You look real fine today." He strokes his reflection. "Maybe later you and I can-"

He hears loud laughter coming from the hallway.

"Oh my gosh! Stop, stop! That's so funny!" Christina clutches her stomach .

"What? What the hell are you doing upstairs?" Tobias asks wide-eyed.

"We are all waiting for you. Your mom let me up." Chris answers.

"Oh. Don't tell anyone about this, okay? Especially Tris, she'd never let that down." He pleads.

"Fine. Just because I get to blackmail to whenever I want. We'll be downstairs." Tobias can hear the echoes of her laughter as she leaves.

 _Oh crap._

* * *

 _Back to present_...

The cold air sends shivers to my spine as I step out of my dad's mini van. I'm dressed in a warm sweater, a large scarf that is wrapped around my neck, and some comfortable black leggings along with warm boots. I have a velvet colored coat that is wrapped around me as well. My mittened hands adjust my beanie so it won't fall off my head.

Although my family is part Jewish, coming from my dad's side of the family, we are still going Christmas tree hunting. Which I think is stupid, my dad says we should be "festive". I guess I can understand his reasoning because my mother celebrates Christmas and her side of the family will be visiting us over the weekend.

We came along with Tyler's family since they suggested us going together and also since his and my parents decided it was time to catch up with one another.

"Hey Rudolph." Tyler taps my nose.

"Shut up." He's dressed in a long-sleeved wool shirt with a warm vest over. He wears dark blue jeans and brown boots.

"You look absolutely adorable." He compliments with a smile.

"And you look absolutely handsome." I mock his tone.

"I don't understand why your parents dragged me into this. I don't even celebrate Christmas." I groan. Though I love spending time with my boyfriend, I'd rather be snuggled up under a series of blankets drinking hot cocoa near the fireplace while watching Netflix. A girl can dream.

"At least we get to spend time with each other." He comments.

"I do like spending time with you." Then something pops into my head. "I have to tell you something." I really don't want to be talking about this, but we both promised we would be that couple who never, NEVER hides anything from one another.

"Okay, what's up?" He furrows his eyebrows looking concerned.

"Remember the day we met? How I ran into you...crying?" I start.

"Yeah. I was sort of bewildered. I was like, uhm, there's a girl crying in my arms and I don't know what to do." He teases while nudging me slightly.

"Oh shush. I never really told you what happened, so I'm going to make it quick and simple. Tobias Eaton and I used to be like best friends since we were like I don't know, seven? And then in freshman year, he got this super bitchy girlfriend, Lauren-"

"Lauren Reeds?"

"Yes. Anyways, he became a total douchebag, I hated her, she hated me. Blah, blah, blah, got into a fight and now we're not friends anymore." I explain in one breath.

"Oh, wow."

"There's more." I point out. "He left a note on my desk somehow at home saying to meet him in the courtyard after school. I didn't know it was him who left the note, so me being me was curious and went. I saw him and he tried asking for forgiveness. I ended up yelling at him." I sigh.

"Okay-"

"There's still more. You k ow how you were sick last week?" He nods. "So I went to the dance and danced with this random guy, who had asked m. I politely accepted because I didn't want to be rude or anything. After we danced, we ran into each other, literally. Tobias that is. He asked me to dance, we did." I leave out the part where he almost kissed me, because I'm scared of how he'd react especially since they both do a lot of sport together and are in several classes together.

"You done now?" He asks.

"Yeah."

"Okay, well, I honestly don't see anything wrong with that." He sighs, "it was terrible what he had done to you. I'm sorry, you and him must have been really close friends if you were friends with him for so long. It was plain stupid for someone to get rid of you especially since you're really are amazing. For everything else, I guess he just came to his senses and decided that he can't stand the guilt or something. People do stupid things and what happens is that they learn for them. I think he just want to start again, and get rid of the weight on his shoulder that he had left."

I'm silently at first and then I feel incredible guilty. Tyler always sees the best in people even if they do incredible idiotic things. He deserves to know. And I can't hide it from him, it will make me feel terrible and I can't deal with the fact that I will be keeping something away for him.

"He almost kissed me." I blurt.

"What?"

I feel relieved to get something off my shoulder. "After we danced, he pulled back slightly and started to lean in. I pulled away from him said something, I can't remember what anymore, and walked away."

He bits his lip and I can't stand his silence. "Do you like him?" He finally manages to say.

"What? No, no! I don't like him. I love you, just you." I say starting to close the distance between us.

"I love you too." He wraps his arms around me bringing me close. "Is it bad?" His lips are so close to mine. "Is it bad that I'm sort of glad that day happened because if it didn't, we wouldn't have ran into each other. "This-" he gestures to the both of us. "This wouldn't have happened."

Without answering, I bring my lips to his letting the warmth he sends me consume my body. His turquoise eyes stare into my as we pull back.

"I love you, Tris."

"I love you too, Tyler."

* * *

"I want this tree." Tyler tells me.

"Does I have to be this specific tree?" The tree is my height. That says a lot considering how incredibly short I am. A whooping 5'5" at most.

"Yes, it has to be this select this tree because we had our first winter kiss next to this one." He explains.

"What? What the hell is a winter kiss?" I'm so confused.

"Winter kiss- since winter is a season, this is our first kiss of the season."

I roll my eyes. "Okay..." I don't understand his logic. "But your like a foot taller than the tree."

"So?"

"Let's go." I drag him to keep looking for another tree.

He makes an adorable pout but agrees.

I hug one of his arms and snuggle to his side. We walk side by side each other telling one another funny stories that happened during class.

"Where have you two been?" My mother asks.

"Walking around." I answer simply.

"We've been waiting for toughies for like half an hour. I called you a bunch of times." I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone.

Five missed calls. "Whoops. Sorry?"

"It's fine. We're going to head back home now, we'll see you soon. It was great seeing you again, Dalton and Cheryl." My parents bid their farewells to Tyler's parents.

"I'll see you, later." My arms wrap around his torso and I burry my head in his chest.

"I'm picking you up at seven-thirty tomorrow." He says against my hair.

I pull away. "Why?"

"You forgot silly, Muse concert."

"Oh right. Tomorrow then." I confirm.

"Okay. Love you."

"You too!" I wave one last goodbye before I make my way to the car.

* * *

As wished, I end up spending the rest of the night snuggling under a series of blankets next to the fireplace while drinking hot cocoa and watching Netflix.

When we had arrived home, my dad, Caleb and I spent an hour decorating the tree for my mom. I accidentally broke three ornaments and was scolded by my dad while Caleb sat and laughed.

By eleven, I went back to my room and crashed. It had a lovely day.

 **A/N: I forgot to mention the song names in like chapter five or something.**

 **Songs:**

 **No More Second Chances- By MKTO**

 **Arms- By Christina Perri**


	10. Part Ten

Chapter 10

Tris' POV

The last song, Dead Inside, ends with the crowd roaring at cheering extremely loudly. I clutch onto Tyler's hand ad we weave our way out of the stadium and back to his car.

"How'd you like it?" He asks me as I sit into the passenger seat.

"I freaking loved it! They were so good." I exclaim loudly aware of how loud the music was that caused my ears to hear everything a lot quieter than it really is.

"You don't have to yell."

"What?!" I ask.

"You don't have to-never mind." He shakes his head with a grin on his face.

"Okay." My finger entwined with his free hand while the other grips tightly around the steering wheel. He keeps his eyes focused on the road but I stare at his features.

Shaggy brown hair, turquoise eyes, cute cheek bones.

"Why are your staring at me?" He asks without looking at me.

"You're just so cute." I poke his cheek.

"Cute? I can't be cute. I'm flawless." He poses with his right hand.

I laugh. "Thank you for bringing me to this concert. I had an amazing time with you."

He smiles, a big genuine smile and my heart stings. He looks just like Tobias when he smiles...

"You okay there?"

"Yeah, fine." I smile just to reassure him.

He drops me off home when we reach my house. Ty walks me to the front door before and kisses me on the cheek once more.

"Thank you again." I say.

"It was my pleasure. I'll see you soon." My arms wrap around his torso and I bury my face in his chest. "I love you." I hear.

"You too." I pull back. "Night."

"Goodnight." I walk back to my room and crash instantly with the imagine of his smile.

His smile.

 _Tobias._

* * *

 _Three years ago..._

"You shouldn't be drinking that." Tobias points to the cup of champaign in my hand.

"Eh, technically I am an "adult"." I defend.

"Just because it's your bat-mitzvah doesn't mean you should be drinking illegally." He takes the cup from my hands.

"Fine."

"Here." He takes my hand. "Come with me."

After the synagogue celebration, everyone came over to a large building for parties that my parents are renting.

Tobias leads me outside of the building and tells me to sit on the fountain side.

"What are we doing here?" I ask.

"I have a present for you." He takes an aquamarine rectangular box out of his inside suit pocket and places it on his lap. He takes out the lip and reveals and silver necklace with a crown pendant.

"Tiffany & Co? What the hell Tobias that must have been expensive. I can't take that, you didn't have to buy that for-" I ramble.

"I wanted to. Here, turn around and stop rambling." I reluctantly make and one-eighty turn with my body and face away from him while lifting up my hair.

The cool metal makes contact with my skin and I lift my arms to feel the pendant.

"It's beautiful. Thank you Tobias, really, you didn't have to." I tell him sincerely.

"It was my pleasure." He kisses my cheek and offers his hand to go back to the party. A tingle of warmth burns where he kissed me and I have to hide a blush.

Whether I like it or not. I like Tobias Eaton. I like him, _a lot._

* * *

 _Present Day (three years later)..._

"I have a major problem." I slam both my hands on the table causing Mar and Chris to jump.

"Oh dear. What kind of problem?" Christina gives me her full attention.

"Major girl issues."

"Shoot." Mar instructs.

"This has been bugging me all week. Tyler looks exactly like Tobias when he smiles." I burst.

"No he doesn't." Chis defends. "I don't know what your thinking but-"

I cut her off by screaming, "TY!"

He turns away from his friends, we're at a party at Christina's house with most of the grade. She wanted to throw a party during Christmas Eve.

He looks for where the source of his name being called and when he catches that I was the one who called him, I wave at him. Tyler smiles at me and waves back.

"Holy shit. How did we not see that before?" Chris mouth is slightly open.

"And every time I look at him, I can't help think of Tobias."

"Okay, okay don't panic." Mar tries to calm me down.

"Are you only dating him because he resembled to Tobias?" Chris asks curiously.

"What?! No! Of course not!" I defend. "I love Tyler and he loves me."

"What's his favorite color?"

"Blue."

"Video game?"

"Halo."

"Movie?"

"Toy Story."

"Wow, you really are hopeless." Mar and Chris shake their heads. "Those are all Tobias' favorite stuff."

"No they're- fuck!" I want to kill myself.

"That doesn't mean any-" I start.

"Tris." Chris says in a warning tone. Her eyes narrow into slits at me. "What happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"You had no problem dealing without Tobias for over a year and now suddenly he comes crashing back into your life." Chris says.

"Oh my god, that's so true now that I realize." Mar exclaims.

"Nothing happened." Lies.

"Tris."

"Nothing happened!" I bite my lip.

"Tris." This time it's Marlene.

"He almost kissed me." I blurt and then slap a hand over my mouth.

"What? When? How? What?"

"At the dance." I say bluntly not wanting to go to detail. "It's been on my mind since."

"Details girl!"

"He asked me to dance and then he leaned in, but I pulled back before anything could happen."

Marlene bicker to each other silently before saying something to me.

"You like him."

"No I don't."

"Tris, honey-"

"I'm happily in a relationship." I defend.

"I don't-" I stop myself from saying anything. No, _no_! I do not like Tobias Eaton. He's a fucking asshole that should go die in a hole. It's not my fault that he turned into a snobby fuckboy. He changed. He fucking changed and left me alone.

"I don't like him."

Stop lying to yourself, Tris.

" You miss his dark blue eyes. You missed how every times he used to smile at you you would gush over his dimples. You missed his corny jokes he would always share with you just to make you laugh." Marlene explains.

And I do.

"I'm going." I start to leave. I hate that a little part of me says they're right. They give me a knowing look.

"Oh shut up. It's complicated, okay?" I leave without a second thought.

* * *

"I thought I'd find you here." A voice says from behind me.

"Why are you here? I'm trying to have some alone time." My eyes are closed as a lean against a tree near my favorite thinking spot- the pond.

"I saw you walking out of the party looking a little... _flustered_."

"Tobias, why are you really here?" I turn to where he is standing.

"I wanted to talk." He plops himself next to me.

"There's not much to talk about."

"Sure there is. You know, I've been thinking about you, a lot." He tells me. "Well more than I usually do. I mean I don't always think about you. That would be a little creepy. Yeah, I don't- so I've been thinking about you a lot lately." My heart flutters a tiny bit.

"Really?" I act cool.

"Yeah. I really like you Tris." He admits. "A lot and I didn't admit it then but I'm going to admit it now. I've liked you since the eighth grade. I know I was a total douchebag and all, but I just need to get it out of the way. I know I dated Lauren freshman year but that meant nothing to me-" I almost laugh.

"You told her you loved her like a month into your relationship." I narrow my eyes. "Oh yeah you even told me that to my face while you supposedly " _had feelings for me_ "? Tobias, I don't-"

"Please, just listen. I can't stop thinking about you. I've haven't stopped since the day I messed up. Even when I date Lauren, the only thing I looked forward to was seeing you. You, Tris. I-I love you, okay? I fucking love you."

It's my turn to be silent. "Okay." I finally say. "But I can't. I have a boyfriend. I-I- I'm sorry. I should go."

"You can't keeping running away. Can't you see it hurts every time you do?" He pleads.

"What do you want me to do, huh? Kiss you and make everything go back to normal? I'm not that type of person, Tobias! I have a boyfriend. And which ever I choose, whatever I do will end in broken hearts. I'm sorry if this isn't how you wanted this to end, but I just don't-"

"Can we at least be friends?" His voice is barely over a whisper.

Can I do that? Can I go back to being friends with someone who constantly made me feel terrible? Can I forgive him?

"I'll think about it."

* * *

The walk back to my house is quiet and calming. I got a fair amount my to time to decipher what had just happened. I really don't know what I'm going to do. I don't.

When I make my way back to my room to finally get a good nights sleep, there's a rectangular aquamarine colored box sitting in the center.

I close my eyes.

Tiffany & Co. I hold up the necklace and examine the pendant. It's has silver metal that swirls around into an oval like shape.

He's going to be the death of me, that boy.

 _Merry Christmas_

It says.

 _-TE_

A/N: I'm not Jewish, so if I got anything wrong, I'm so sorry. Don't kill me. Can I just say, I am super excited because I will be turning fourteen on Wednesday! *does happy dance* But is makes me really sad as well because my grandma passed away on my birthday last year, so of course we didn't celebrate my b-day, we were all mourning for her. I started summer camp on Monday at it's from 8:30 and I don't come home until around six, so I've been lacking.I got a laptop! Yay! Anyways, I hoped you guys enjoy and I will see you real soon! Make sure to comment, vote, review, whatever, I really like the nice things you say, it really makes my day. Love you! Bye!


	11. Part Eleven

Chapter 11

Tobias' POV

I've been sneaking in her room a lot lately. Too much. One for the note and the other for the necklace.

It broke my heart when she threw her necklace at me. She just ripped it off her neck and flung it at me- wait no. It wasn't that necklace, it was a charm bracelet. I remember that night clearly now, how I clutched and gripped tightly around the small metal object while balling my eyes out in bed.

Yes- the big, bad Tobias Eaton has cried over a girl- _twice_. It was over the same girl as well.

I rock myself back and forth while sitting on one of the swings in the park across the street from my house.

I hear a quiet rustling noise behind me. "You took a lot longer than I anticipated you would." I tell Zeke.

"Sorry, I got caught up on family stuff. They're cooking for a party."

"Merry Christmas by the way." I kick a pebble.

"Merry Christmas, Tobias. So what's up?" He sits on the other swing besides me.

"I've been finding myself doing stupider and stupider things lately." I confess.

"Like what?"

"Well if I tell you, you're just going to yell at me." I say quietly.

"What did you do?" Zeke says more sternly.

"I left a necklace on her bed." I play with my fingers.

"Is that it?"

 _Not really._

"I told her I love her." I mentally prepare myself for a punch to the face.

"Oh. You need to stop what ever the hell you are doing. For the hundredth time, she's in a relationship, don't mess it up for her." He tells me sternly.

"You don't know how I feel." I say. "What if Shauna had a boyfriend and you were off to the side watching them everyday of the school year. What if you thought maybe, maybe she returned some of the same feeling. Would you just stand there and watch them all the time or would you try to get her?" That shuts him up.

"I'll help you." He says simply.

"Come again?" I ask totally shocked.

"Well if you put it that way, then I see your point. If Shauna were dating some dumbass jock or whatever, and I knew she had the tiniest of feelings for me, I'd do anything to get her. So I'll help you."

"Thanks man." I nudge him on the shoulder.

"Want to come over to my place? My mom made a huge dinner and I'm assuming your mom is out of town. Some boring Christmas you got there." He teases.

"Sure, I'll come over." We walk a few blocks to Zeke's house while I listen to him talk about his recent fight with Shauna.

When he opens the front door to his house, I am immediately greeted with warmth and the sweet aroma of chocolate chip cookies.

"Ezekiel is that you?" I hear Hannah call from the kitchen.

"Yes. Tobias is here also." He calls back.

"Okay!"

"Ma, we'll be in the living room." We walk towards the living room while Zeke tosses his jacket on the dining room table before entering.

I'm assuming Uriah is here with his girlfriend as well because I hear soft giggling along with his laughter. But I'm wrong, so very wrong- well sort of.

When the both of us walk into the living room, we one, do see Uriah with his girlfriend Mar and two, I see Tris cuddled up with Tyler.

 _Damn._

All conversations seems to die as four pairs of eyes land on the two of us. My heart is practically ripped out of my chest when I notice Tris cuddled up under Tyler's arm and her snuggled against his chest. They seemed to have been laughing at something on his phone.

She should be the one snuggled against me. _Me._

"Oh uhm, Tobias and I will be upstairs then." Zeke says awkwardly and slowly retreats out of the room. I soon follow him with me trailing not so far behind.

Right before I fully leave the room, and when the four of them are not looking our way anymore, I take a few steps back. A silver chain sits around her neck and I see the pendant resting over her scarf.

I smirk.

"What are you smiling about? You just saw the girl you liked with her boyfriend." Zeke eyes me.

"Tris was wearing the necklace." I swear my smile becomes even wider.

"Oh. For a second, I actually thought that you were happy to see her with him." He remarks. "But now that I think about it, she totally has the hots for you."

* * *

Zeke has to make sure that they are gone before we went downstairs. We spent the night playing video games and making prank calls (his idea, not mine).

While we are eating dinner, we hear some shuffling behind us.

"What are you two doing?" _Uriah_.

"Dinner, want to join?" Zeke asks his little brother.

"Sure." I watch as he grabs an empty plate and fills it with food.

"So," Zeke starts. "What have you guys been doing the past few hours?"

"Watching old movies, eating food not much." Uriah answers,

"I thought Tris was supposed to be in Spain." Zeke comments.

"Nah, her parents canceled the trip. Emergency business thing going on for her dad, something like that." He rolls his eyes.

"So how is Tris and Tyler going on?" I almost want to slap myself on the face for asking a question like that.

"I don't know man. They're pretty good, I guess. Why'd you ask?"

I clear my throat. "No reason. How long exactly have been dating?"

"Nine months. Since last April, so yeah, nine months. Pretty good if you ask me." His comment makes my chest turn.

Zeke gives me a weird look as if asking my why I'm asking all of these question.

"Oh cut the crap Tobias, we all know you have the hots for Tris." He takes my by surprise. I give him a look and he just shakes his head. "I've known since fifth grade. Hell, I've known even before you knew your true feelings for her, and I pity you. I pity you for not doing anything about it for the past god knows, like six, seven years? You sometimes disappoint me."

I'm speechless.

"You know what annoys the hell out of me the most? Sure Tyler's a great guy and he and Tris are great for each other, every time I see them, all I can think about is how you should be in place of him."

Still speechless.

"Say something god dammit!"

"Well, I-I-" I'm lost for words.

"Ugh, never mind." He washes his dishes and places them on the dish rack and starts to leave the room. "By the way, I saw the necklace."

"How is your brother so smart?" I finally say after a while.

"I don't know. I really don't know."

* * *

I sleep over at Zeke's and leave at around four in the afternoon. Christmas was fun, but all I have to do is prepare for the new year.

 _Great._

 **A/N: my brother is craving for In-and-Out. For those of you who do not live in California and get to experience this fast food restaurant of ours, I pity you. Today is his birthday, so yeah. Anyways, I hoped you enjoy and please remember to check out my other story Finding Him.**


	12. Part Twelve

Chapter 12

Tris' POV

Going back to school is a pain in the ass. The halls are filled with tired groans and with some people struggling to stay awake.

However for me, the minute I arrive on campus, I burst through the double doors and march towards Christina's lockers. I grab both Chris and Marlene's arms and drag them away into somewhere private.

I ignore they're "Happy New Year" comment and turn towards them.

"I like Tobias." I cross my arms in front of my chest.

"What?" They both exclaim.

"You heard me. I. Like. Tobias." I say once more.

"Hey, are you okay?" Chris feels my forehead.

"Wait, yeah, why? I'm perfectly fine." I answer.

"So your not on drugs or anything. Have you been drinking?" I can't tell if Mar is joking or not.

"I haven't! I don't know! It started on Christmas Eve. He left me a gift on my bed."

"Gift? On your bed? Was he laying half naked on your-"

"No! _No_! Oh my gosh, Mar!" I scold. "It was a necklace. _A necklace_ , Mar!" I emphasize. "And then after we finished our dinner with our grandparents, I went to Uri's house."

Christina interrupts me. "Hashtag no invite."

"Tyler and Mar came as well."

"Now I'm glad I wasn't invited. I'd hate to be the fifth wheel." I hear Christina say.

"I was wearing the necklace because I wanted to try it on." I say.

"Right. ' _Try it on_ '."

"Oh Shut up." I say, because they're right. I don't exactly hide my flushed cheeks that easily. "Tobias and Zeke ended coming like a few hours later. But I don't know, every since all I've been thinking is him. Every damn thing. I'd be watching TV and then my thoughts would end up on Tobias. Eating dinner, jogging, whatever."

"Oh."

"But Tyler." I say. "I don't want to lead him on. I mean, I love him. But, I don't know how I feel anymore. He's been so sweet and so caring and I'd feel horrible for doing that to him, you know?"

"Well, you can...or you can- No, I got nothing." Christina seems to be struggling.

"What about, at the end of the week, if you know for sure you don't have any feelings for Tyler and that you do like Tobias, then end it. If not, stay with Ty." Mar comes up with an idea.

"But if I'm already have second thoughts about our relationship, shouldn't I end it anyways?"

"Yeah. The worst thing you could possibly do is cheat or lead someone on. Worst I tell you, and that's from experience." Chris points out.

"Okay, deal."

* * *

Guilt.

 _Guilt_.

 _How can I be such a terrible person_?

All Tyler has been to me is exceptionally sweet, and what I'm might break it off because of some petty crush on Tobias? I'm such a terrible person.

It doesn't make it better when he walks towards me during lunch.

"Hey." My chest turns out of nervousness.

"Hi."

"You okay, you look like you just saw a ghost."

"Oh. Sorry, I'm just a little tired." It's not entirely a lie.

"Okay. I'll see you later. Coach wants me to do some extra practice, so I'll be headed there."

"Okay, see you later then." I hug him one last time before he leaves.

What is wrong with me? Just last week I was happily in love with him? Was that just teenage love? Was this some phase or something?

I hate this. _I really hate this_.

"This will look so adorable with that scarf of yours!" She hands me a top an motions me to try it on.

"You mean the light blue silk infinity scarf?" I ask.

"Yes, that's the one!" Mrs. Evans is the nicest person on the planet. I feel more than terrible for having to break up with Tyler.

"I know that look." She rests the clothes back on the rack. "Well I'll be damned."

"Hm?" What is she talking about?

"Sit down Tris, we're going to have a talk. Did I ever tell you how I met Ty's father?" I shake my head.

"Well Dalton and I met in college. I was dating another boy. What was his name? Oh, Noah. Noah and I were friends since high school we had met junior year. He was so friendly to me. At first, he would come and flirt, like full on flirt. It was adorable, how he'd embarrass himself just for me. Until I couldn't take him embarrassing himself no longer so I made the first move. Of course I had feelings for him. He was the ideal guy.

"We went to college together. Same UC. He was amazing- so sweet and kind-hearted. I met Dalton some the during the first year of college. We ran into each other, literally." She smiles at the memory.

"He was always so persistent. He was too flirty alway trying to talk to me somehow. I developed feelings for him while I was dating Noah. At one point, everything between me and him were gone and I had it big for Dalton. I broke up with Noah a little too late. He caught me kissing Dalton.

"Tris sweetie, don't do what I did. Of course I love the fact that you and Tyler are together, but sometimes things come to an end."

"You're not mad?"

"No. As long as you and Ty are still friends. I love our shopping trips." She smiles.

"Thanks Mrs. Evans."

"For the hundredth time, you can call me Cheryl."

"Okay, thanks Cheryl."

I walk into my house with three bags on each arm.

I text Tyler that I'm heading towards his house.

 _Coming in five._

I don't bother to see if he texts back.

When I make my way to his front door steps, the door flings open.

"Hey, babe." His arms goes around my waist.

"We need to talk."

"Okay?"

"I don't. I don't." I can't do this. How do you break up with someone? I've never done this before. "I think we should break up."

Can you be anymore forward, Tris?

"What?" He looks like a puppy who has just got his bone taken away.

"I'm I'm sorry." My eyes burn and I feel it start to water. He wasn't my first love, I wish he were, but he's not.

Tobias just had to make his way into my life and twist and turn it. He naturally had a charismatic personality and dragged me straight into it. He's my first love. And I learned no matter how hard try not to, you always end up forgiving them for all the terrible things they've done.

"Did I do something? If I did, then I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No! It wasn't you. It's me. It's my fault. I-"

"Did- did you cheat?" His voice cracks.

"No! God, no, I would never do that to you, to anyone." I explain.

Shouldn't tell him the truth?

"I don't know. I think I like someone else." I close my eyes as I feel my face soak in with tears. I feel terrible. "I love you. Love you. You were so kind to me. All you've been is understand, kind, trustworthy. I loved you to death, and I with this would have never ended. I'm sorry." I start to leave but he stops.

"Wait! I love you and I don't want you to leave."

"I'm sorry."

"Can we at least be friends? And I mean actually friends, j don't want us to ignore each other, friends. Please?" He's desperate and I don't blame him, I would be trying to do the same thing if I were him.

"Give me a week, but yes. I need time off."

"I love you, Tris."

I take a deep breath. "I love you too Ty."

 **A/N: this chapter though. I wasn't planning on breaking them up so soon, but it was bound to happen sooner or later right? Let me know what you think. The break up part was so difficult to write. Hope you have a great day, bye!**


	13. Part Thirteen

Chapter 13

Tris' POV

 _Twelve years ago_...

"Honey, we're taking you and Tobias skating." My mom tells me while I watch TV.

Being my three year old self, I had to question every little thing.

"Why?" I turn my head to face her.

"It's winter and we thought it would be nice to enroll you in skating lessons." She says sweetly.

"Why?"

"Well because you father and I thought it would be a good idea."

"Why?" Once again.

"Honey, just go to your room. I'll be there in a second to help you get dressed." I remember hopping down from the couch and stumbling my way over to my bedroom upstairs. My mother followed behind.

She pulled a long sleeve and a furry fleece jacket. "Wear these two over you shirt."

"Why?"

She sighs, "sweetie, it's going to be twenty nine degrees outside." She pulls out tiny small pink sweatpants and tells me to put them on. I comply.

We pick Tobias up from his house no later than half an hour later.

"Hi," I giggle shyly.

"Hi Beatrice." He smiles. "I've missed you. I haven't seen you in forever. Mommy said were going ice skating with you and Caleb."

"I can't skate." I tell him.

"Can you?"

"Yes." He says proudly. "I've been taking lessons for months now."

"So you can help me?"

"Of course, Bea." He smiles and giggles quietly.

* * *

"I don't want to skate anymore." My skates feel as if they are cutting the blood circulation to my tiny little feet.

"Come on, Bea! I'll help you."

"No. I'll stay here and drink my hot cocoa. I'd rather sit in the freezing snow than go on that death trap." I say pointing the frozen lake.

"Please? I'll teach you."

"Isn't there supposed to be a teacher helping?" I mutter.

"Huh?"

"Never mind." He holds his hand out to me and I stare at it. Does he expect me to hold onto that?

I can't hold his hand, he has cooties! I cannot get cooties. I don't want to be infected!

"No." I say flatly.

"Why not?" He pouts.

"You have cooties and I refuse to touch your hand, Tobias!"

"Fine, my mom has this wipe. She says it's magical and can kill germs. After you can use one and wipe your hands."

"You promise it will kill the cooties?"

"I promise. Now hold my hand." I stand up from my sitting position and take his hand in mine. He pulls me towards the lake. When we step foot on the lake, I fall on my butt.

"Ouch!" That hurt.

"Be careful! I don't want to you hurt. I don't like it when you're hurt."

"Why?"

"Well when you're sad, it makes me sad. You're my best friend, Bea."

I giggle. "You're my best friend too!"

"Now be careful. You have to stand. Ready, one, two, oh okay." I cling onto his shoulders not wanting to fall. I watch as everyone skates around us. The two of us are two, maybe three feet shorter than everyone else.

"Where's Caleb?" I ask suddenly aware that my brother is no where to be found.

"With Susan." Tobias answers. "Now, step with me."

I finally get the hang of this after a really, really long time. I skate slowly while my fingers are entwined with Tobias'. We skate around the lake pointing out the vast colors all around us and sometimes sticking out tongues out along the way to catch snowflakes.

"I had a really fun time with you today. We should do it again sometimes." I tell him before he goes back to his house.

"Okay, Bea. I'll see you tomorrow, Kay?"

"Okay, bye Tobias!" I wave one last time before he walks back into his house with his mother waiting up front.

* * *

 _Present Day..._

News happens to travel fast when you get to high school. I never considered myself as the "popular" type but when you're considered pretty, according to Chris (I happen to think otherwise), people tend to pay attention to you. Also, if you're dating a cute jock, people tend to pay a lot more attention to you than necessary.

I hate attention.

I hear whispers down the hall as I walk through it.

"Is it true?"

"Did Tris and Tyler break up?"

"But they were dating for almost a year! That's so long!"

"They were so cute together though!"

My head pounds and all I want to do is scream. Eyes seem to follow me as I walk towards my lockers to grab my books.

"Is it true?" I roll my eyes.

"Please just leave me alone." I am not in the mood for this conversation especially with them.

"Well when we say that you should break up with him at the end of the week, we weren't expecting it a day later, Tris!" Christina exclaims.

"Yeah well, it happened and there's no going back now." I hate this.

"I guess you're right, now let's get to class." Mar follows me to first period. Hm, great, Tyler's there too!

* * *

"Can anyone explain what the turning point of the Civil War was?"

No one raises their hand.

"Thanks for all the volunteers." My teachers says sarcastically.

"Tris! Thanks for volunteering." Great, count on teachers to call on you when you specifically don't want to be called on. If we wanted to be called on, we would be raising our hand. Duh.

"Uh...The victory at Gettysburg?"

"Good. Now..."

I know he's looking this way, I can feel eyes burning at the back of my head. I turn my head slightly and our eyes meet.

 _Nope! Nope! Nope!_

I can't lie and say I got over him. I still have feeling have feelings for him, of course.

I need time.

* * *

I can't cheat him. Tobias is someone petty crush, but even then, I should be in a relationship if I have second thoughts. Part of me is glad I broke it off, I need to get my head straight before commitment. I need time.

"Chocolate or vanilla?"

"Chocolate."

"Pandas or unicorns."

Uriah and I look at each other at the same time. "Unicorns." We both say.

"Hmm...what about...chicken or bacon?"

"Bacon." I say. "Always will be bacon."

"So you an Tyler, huh?"

"I swear, if another person asks me about our break up, I will snap their neck."

"No, I just want to know why. You two were perfectly fine last time I saw you."

"Yeah, well it's complicated." Complicated is an understatement.

"Complicated? What happened?"

"I have tiny, tiny feelings for Tobias and I don't know, I was confused so I broke up with him. I feel like if the feelings keep growing, I don't want to hurt Tyler when it's too late."

"Tobias? The Tobias that talked smack right in front of you're face? The Tobias that dated the school bitch. The Tobias that-"

"Okay, I get it!"

"Just be careful okay?"

"Okay. I will, I promise."

* * *

The chilly Chicago air surrounds me as I tie my skates together. Dressed in Lulu black leggings that wrap around the heel of my skate, and a large grey sweater. I skate at least six times a week with Sunday's off. I've been skating since I was three.

Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays are the days I have private lessons with an instructor. Today's Tuesday, so I skate by myself.

The lake is empty with me being the only person here. I skate around the perimeter to gain speed for several spins.

"I didn't know you still skate." I hear a pice from behind me.

"Well, that's strange. For someone who used to be my best friend, where do you think I went after school for the past twelve years?" I ask while skating.

"I just thought you just quit a while ago."

"Why are you here, Tobias?" I ask out of breath. I still haven't stopped skating. I fling myself in the air and twist my body really fast, spinning at least four, maybe five times.

"I came to skate." He shows my the skates he's holding in his hands.

"You, skate?" I laugh. "When was the last time you skated?"

"Three?"

"So you just happened to want to skate again? After twelve years?"

"Yes, because I knew you'd be here and I wanted to spend time with you."

I finally stop and take a look at him. He's in our school sweatshirt and tan khaki pants. His hair is ruffled and his dark blue eyes are staring into mine. Did I ever mention I have a thing for blue eyes?

I awkwardly cough after that comment. "Okay, uhm, do you remember how to skate?"

"No."

"Okay then." I watch as he wobbles to the ice laughing as he almost trips over some ice. He steps on the ice and slips.

"Ouch. My bum." He catches my eye. "Are you laughing at me, Tris?"

"What? Me? No, I was just coughing you know, coughing..."

He narrows his eyes at me.

"Oh right, let me help." I offer my hand to him and he stares at it.

"I thought I had cooties."

"Oh my gosh, I was three! And I thought guys don't talk to themselves in the mirror."

"Eighth grade! That was in eighth grade! Christina promised she wouldn't tell you." His cheeks flush.

"She didn't have to. I saw the whole thing." I laugh at the memory. Chris and I had went up to his room because he was taking forever. She and I caught him talking to himself and had laughed a little too loudly.

I feel his warm hand wrap around my cold ones, bringing me back to reality.

He hauls me towards him and I come crashing into his chest.

"I heard you broke up with Tyler." He says against my ear.

I close my eyes. My heart is pounding. I don't want to talk about this, especially since I broke up with Ty because of him.

"Come on, let's skate." I change the subject. I practically drag him him around the lake. "I remember the roles were reversed back then. You helping me."

He smiles. "Yeah, you were so talkative back then."

"I was not!" I counter argue.

"All you'd talk about were cooties. Remember the magical wipe that killed germs? I learned it was called a disinfectant wipe later on." He laughs. "You were so adorable back then." He says. "You still are, but the difference is, is that you're not adorable, you're beautiful." I look at him as he tucks hair around my ear.

"No." I pull back. "I can't. I need time by myself." I shut my eyes. "I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way as you do." My chest turns as I lie right in front of his face.

"Oh." He drops his hand to his side. "Uhm, I'll get going. I'll see you at school, Kay?"

I clear my throat. "Yeah."

I watch as his figure walks farther and farther away from me. Soon disappearing in the distance.

I stand there on the lake recapping the past hour.

I'm screwed.

* * *

I fling my bag onto the couch as slam the door. "I'm home!"

It's around six in the evening and I have a shit load of homework to do. I make myself a quick diner and bring it to my room.

There's a post-it note on my door. My always leave them on mine and Caleb's when we have chores to finish.

I grab it and place it on my desk and make a mental note to complete whatever it is I have to do. I lay my books and plate of food on the desk and plop down onto my chair. My eyes catch the note.

 _Nothing can compare to you're beauty than Aphrodite herself._

 _-TE_

Well, that's not from my parents. I guess myself five seconds to pull myself together.

 _Five_.

That was really sweet.

 _Four_.

How does he keep sneaking in?

 _Three_.

Gosh, I have so much homework, focus Tris!

 _Two_.

He needs to stop doing this!

 _One_.

I'm smitten.

Help.

 **A/N: I went ice skating two weeks ago and I saw two little kids that looked like they were three years old, probably brother and sister. The little girl was dirty blonde and the boy was dark brown haired, and guess who they reminded me of? Yup! The two little kids were holding hands and skating and I thought it was absolutely adorable. Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed. I tried to make it all cute and adorable for all y'all. Bye!**


	14. Part Fourteen

Chapter 14

Tris' POV

Do you know that feeling you get in the beginning of a crush. First you notice someone. You notice their features and how "hot" or "cute" they look. The feelings start to grow when you realize; "hey, I think I might like this guy" or "fuck my life, this can't be happening again!" The feelings keep growing and you fall. Most of the time you fall for their looks, but in reality, you really don't know their true personality. And sometimes...it's too late.

I'm stuck in stage one: the beginning of the crush.

I remember the way Christina and Will got together. He was a new kid and he seemed all sarcastic and had all the qualities of a fuckboy when we first met him. Chris, on the other hand saw him differently. Their relationship started off with me awkwardly sitting in the middle of them two while they threw snarky comments at one another. Christina found him on Instagram and DMed him. They swapped numbers on the DM because they thought it was easier to talk to each other that way. I remember skyping her one night and she told me how they stopped fighting and would always talk about the most random things. They would even FaceTime with each other until two am. This all happened within a week. Less than a week they were practically smitten for each other. I'm glad, because I was the one who introduced them together hoping that maybe they would end up with one another, and they did.

I never understood crushes. Some of them developed over a long period of time and other are super quick, instant even. Mine is confusing. Tobias did some shit things to me and on some days I hold a grudge against him for that, and others I forget that we ever fought, that we were still best friends for the beginning of our lives.

My heart aches for him right now. I stare as I see his posture from the distance. One arm is slug over his head and his leg is crossed over another while he is leaning against his locker. He talking to a girl- girls that is and they're all dressed in black and blue cheerleading uniforms. I always hated those, it made me feel self conscious and overly exposed wearing them back in freshman.

Zeke stands next to him with his arms slung over his girlfriend, Shauna. They stare into each other's eyes as they talk lovingly to each other. My heart flutters for them.

My books are hug tightly against my chest and I feel like a creepy stalker staring at Tobias. It doesn't help that he's been looking my way the entire time while he talks to the girls. I close my eyes.

His lips curl upwards and I bite mine. I won't- can't take my eyes off him.

"Tris!" Judging my her tone, Mar must have been calling my name for a while. "What are you looking at-oh." She sighs, "if you keep that up, I'd have to pry your eyes away from him, now look at me... Tris! Oh my gosh, you can be so difficult sometimes."

I'm forced back to reality when I am turned ninety degrees to look at Mar's face.

"Huh? Sorry." I mutter.

"Unbelievable. If you excuse me, I'm going to go bang my head on the locker several times."

' _What_?' He mouths to me.

' _Why do you keep looking at me_?' I mouth back.

' _Look whose talking_.'

I never thought that I'd ever be doing this again. I take my phone out of my pocket, and pull up his number. After we fought, I tried millions of times but never manage the courage to delete his number. It's the tenth one down on my contacts due to his last name being towards the beginning of the alphabet.

 _Nice of you, ignoring the two girls that are trying to to to you right now._

 _Tris Prior, are you texting me?_

 _Don't get your hopes up, I'm only doing this because you're cute._

 _Cute?_

 _Yes, you're adorable._

 _Do you want to go to the park later?_

 _What are you insinuating?_

 _I am saying that I want to spend time with my best friend._

 _I am not you best anything, Tobias._

 _Well, obviously you're going to say yes._

 _Sorry, can't. Figure skating._

 _Then I'll just come with._

 _No, please don't._

 _How about at eight? I should be done with homework by then._

 _Okay, I'll be there at seven thirty._

I put my phone back in my pocket and walk away without looking at him. Maybe this is good. It's good that we're building our friendship back.

* * *

"Great, now pour the chemical mixture into the green liquid." My teacher instructs the class. "Slowly add the mixture, very slowly." I tip the vial over the glass measuring cup where the thee liquid is. My safety glasses start to slip off my eye and I adjust it before pouring the liquid.

"Boo!" My liquid spills onto the table.

"Eaton! Let Tris concentrate." I put a hand over my heart. I get scared easily.

"Yeah Eaton, let me concentrate. I'm trying to focus here."

"Oh my bad." He says sarcastically. "I'll just be over my the lake watching the ducks while you take your sweet time."

"Yeah, you go do that." I push him away, but he just comes back.

"I'm your new lab partner." He says with a sly grin.

"What happened to Rayan?" I ask. He's super funny and intimate everyone and everything in the class, and they're always on point.

"He's with Riley." He say motioning to The boy sitting next to Rayan. "I liked Rayan better."

He smiles. "Too bad."

"Why exactly did you struck partners anyways?"

"Because." He says taking the vile from my hand. "I wanted to spend more time with my best friend."

"We have to talk about it eventually, you know." As much as I don't want, he can't just waltz back into my life like nothing bad ever happened between us. He have to fix our relationship first.

"During lunch." I tell him.

I hate how not even three months ago I refused to even look or talk to him. And now? What has gotten in to me? It's as if we were still friends back then.

"Fine. I'll be in the courtyard." The mixture combines creating a light brown color.

I get my lunch from my locker- a salad, a bag pretzels and strawberry-kiwi Snapple. I stuff my backpack into my locker, and make my way to the courtyard as promised.

I find him sitting there while talking to two other football jocks. Our eyes meet for a brief second and he excused himself from the two boys.

"Hey." He holds a bag of food in one hand.

"Hi." I notice the two boys looking in our direction. I shift uncomfortably.

"You wanted to talk?"

I clear my throat. "Yeah."

"Look I was stupid, okay? I'm sorry I said all those nasty things to you. I never wanted to hurt you-"

"Really? Because you sure did a lot of hurting."

"I know. I wish I never went out with her. You're the one I love."

"But you did love her."

"I thought I did."

"But you _did_ love her." I say again.

"Yes. Maybe, I don't know! She's a lot nicer than you think."

"Really?" I say laughing. "Nicer as in telling me to kill myself every time I passed by her in the hall. Nicer as in tripping me in the cafeteria? Nicer as in carving the word slut in my locker, when obviously I'm the slut, and not her? Do you know how many times she cheated on you, Tobias? And you know what bothered me even more was that you just stood there, and let me take it. You didn't do anything, Tobias!" I wanted to talk to him about this, talk it out. But after holding in all these feelings for such a long time, I was bound to burst. I bursted into a million pieces and it was because of him.

I broke, and now I'm let by myself to pick up all the pieces.

"It wasn't that bad-"

"Are you fucking serious? Do you even hear yourself now?" I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the water pouring from my eyes.

I hate how he made me feel like I was never enough. I helped him through his parent's divorce. I helped him through his first break up. I helped him when his mother came crawling back for forgivenesses. I helped him through everything. And what? He sometimes treats me like shit.

"I'm sorry. I-"

"I'm going. This was a terrible idea."

"Tris-" he grabs my wrist.

"Let go of me!" I cry. I dismiss the strange stares coming from probably half the school population.

"I've never stopped loving you. I have since eighth grade. And I can't handle you always walking out on me like this. So if you walk away, then I'll know we're done. For good."

I close my eyes and sigh. "Then I guess we're done."

* * *

I hate vulnerability. I run through the halls while wiping my eyes a couple of times also while dodging people on the way. I need to get out of here.

"Oof! Tris! Are you okay?!" I am asked when I crash into somebody.

"Yeah. Sorry, I didn't- I didn't mean to crash into you." I tell Ty. I wipe my eyes.

It's like our first encounter almost a year and a half ago.

He stares at me for a while. "Let me help, you're obviously not okay."

"It's fine. I'm fine. Don't worry."

"No, you're obviously not okay. I'm going to take you home." I feel his familiar arms wrapping around my body bringing me closer.

"Okay." I say after having an internal debate in my mind.

He walks me to the passenger seat. When he places himself into the driver's seat, he shifts his positions towards me, staring.

He always had a way to make my heart rate go faster just by looking at me.

I turn my body to give him a questioning look.

"Oh. Right." He starts the engine and heads towards the direction of his and my house.

The ride is silent and semi-awkward.

"It's been a week. Almost a week, well four days. I see you and Tobias, I'm not blind Tris."

Is it that obvious? Well it doesn't matter anymore because Tobias is a huge dick. "Well whatever we had, what ever that was, it's done. Tobias is a dick."

"Oh." I can tell my his stiff posture, clenched fist, and blushed cheeks is that he's jealous.

"I'm serious. You don't have to worry about anything." It's true, because I even said to Tobias that we're done.

"I still love you and I can't stand seeing you with any other guy than me." He says softly.

"You can't keep doing this, Ty. I loved you, maybe I still do, just a little bit. What we had was real, but-" I don't know what to say. That I moved on? Because some part of me deep down still has feelings for this sweet, lovable boy. "You have to move on, promise me. Promise me that you'll try, for me."

"I can't."

"Tyler."

"Tris."

"Please?" I try again.

"I can't."

"You are so stubborn sometimes." I tell him.

"Oh I'm the stubborn one?" He says smiling.

"I'm not stubborn!" I exclaim while getting out of the car. He follows suit.

"Yes you are."

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. The cold wind blows against my face causing my hair to fly everywhere. "No I'm not."

"You're so adorable." He says while stepping close. I step back.

"Tyler." I warn. I put my arms in his chest to prevent him from coming any closer, which doesn't help the situation because he puts them around his waist to pull me closer. He always had a habit of doing that.

I close my eyes as his lips meet him, slowly and steady. We kiss under the tree in front of my house.

No. _No_!

I immediately pull back when reality hits me in the face. "No, no, no. This-" I say gesturing to the space between us, "nope, nope, nope. This was a mistake."

"Tris, you obviously still have feelings for me just like I do with you."

"No, we're done."

"If we're done then you wouldn't have kissed me."

"Tobias, this isn't going to work." My hand immediately slaps over my mouth. I did not just do that.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I just called Ty, Tobias.

He stares at me. "Okay. It's because you have feelings for Tobias? Was I never enough for you?"

"You were everything to me. I'm sorry. I still like you, Ty, but-"

"Look Tris, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I totally understand. But it's so hard you know? I can't just forget you. I still love you."

"That's the problem."

"I still want you in my life." He says taking my hands.

"We can still be friends."

"Be serious."

"I am. How about we hang out? I have figure skating but if you want, we can hang out after my lesson." I tell him because I know Tobias isn't going to come over anymore.

"Tomorrow. I'll take you out and we can have ice cream. Who the hell cares that it's going to be freezing cold. I just want to spend time with you." I proposes.

"As friends."

"I'll try my hardest." He says.

"Tyler."

"Fine, fine. As friends." This is sort of a terrible idea. He can't get over me if we're going to hang out all the time. I can't fully get over him if we do this as well.

"You have to promise me you won't try anything stupid."

"Okay." He whispers. "I promise."

A/N: Don't worry, Fourtris will come later on. Well, I hate to say it but it's going to have to develop by regaining trust and friendship. But, other than that, I'm sorry but you will have to wait even longer. I plan on getting them together in a really cute way.

Have a wonderful day! Leave a comment/review, vote. I love when you guys comment, it always brings smiles to my face:)


	15. Part Fifteen

Chapter 15

Tobias' POV

I remember the first time dad hit me. It was for sometime so stupid and so little. He came home drunk that night and could barely stand upright. I had forgotten to wash the dishes and he got so pissed off about it.

He hit me across the face so hard, it left a bruise for two days.

I remember that night too precisely. Tris's house was a block away from mine so I walked towards it with my hood up, afraid that someone would see the bruise even though the sun had already set.

I climbed up onto her patio and knock three times. From the window, I saw her on her laptop doing school work while chewing on a pencil. We were in seventh grade at the time.

I remember her curious eyes looking up from her work and landed where I was standing. Her eyes turned darker when it landed on my bruised cheeks.

"What happened." She asked while opening the door from her patio.

"Marcus." Tris had already knew that he had some…anger issues. She had already knew about my mom running away from him. She knew what he did to her. I told her everything and anything.

Losing Tris, hurt more than Marcus hitting me. The pain that came from Marcus couldn't compare to how I felt after we fought in freshman year. She was my anchor and I let her go causing me to sink down with her.

I miss her, and I love her. I just wish I had the balls to tell her before it was too late.

I moved on, well, not really.

No I didn't.

I plan on asking her to forgive me. But I don't know how she will if I can barely forgive myself.

I am such an idiot! Oh my God! Such a _fucking_ idiot!

Sometimes I just want to jump in front of a train for all the stupid things I've done in my life. And I've done a lot.

I know doing something big won't help.

So I write:

 _Look, Tris. I did some shit things to you the past year. I know you may not forgive me and I understand that because I can barely get myself to forgive my actions. I think about you every day. I think about you when I wake up and before I fall asleep. I think about you in class and during break. I've messed up. I've done such terrible things, to you. I took you for granted. You we're my best friend and you've helped me through everything. You helped me with Marcus, my mom, with Lauren. You were my first kiss, you're my first love. I don't know how I managed to survive without you. Maybe it was the little things. Catching your eye in the hall. The smiles I gave you when I caught you staring. I know you like me. You can't deny it because I know it's true. It has to be. I want it to be. I know I'm a terrible person at times, but I can be so much more. I didn't mean any of it. How could I? I broke a promise and now I have to suffer the repercussions. You're such a an amazing person. So flawless, so beautiful, so smart, so selfless. I love you, Beatrice Prior. I love you so much. Please forgive me._

I don't know what to write afterwards. I understand if she won't forgive me. It will be hard. But I will move on, I have to try. I fold the letter twice and slip it into her locker.

"I haven't seen you in forever." Zeke pats my back as sit on the blue and gold lunch tables.

I'm "Rough week, I guess." I sit on top of the table.

"I heard your nasty fight with Tris yesterday. Well half the school heard you, you guys were pretty loud. You're an idiot by the way." Zeke takes a seat next to me.

"I've been told. I don't know if we're going to work out anymore." I sigh into my hands. "I don't know, it's just not working. One moment we're friends again, and then the next we are screaming at each other.

"Well when you love something, you have to let it go. In this case, you have to let Tris go. But if she loves you back, she will find a way to come back to you. That's just how it works." He tells me.

"When did you get so wise?" I tease.

"Don't know. Maybe I hang out with Shauna too much." He jokes. He changes the subject, "try outs are today, are you going?"

"When do I never show up?"

"True. Well, I'll see you later." He pats my back a few times before leaving.

I head to the last period of the day- AP English. We're currently reading the novel, Frankenstein. It's really boring although I have to pay attention to know the material.

Class ends dreadfully. As the bell finally rings, I quickly pack my books and head down to the field. But before, I go to the men's changing room and change into a light gray t-shirt and red gym shorts. I jog my way down to the field and meet Zeke and Uriah.

Out of the corner of my eye I see a blonde headed girl which talking to a boy- Tyler. I feel like I am intruding by staring at them talk. Tris smiles at something he says and he hugs her.

My chest turns and I have to peel my eyes off of them.

Focus, Tobias. Focus.

Tyler turns away from Tris and walks to the direction of the other guys trying out.

"Woah, relax." Zeke places a hand in my shoulder.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." I tell him. "Hey, is Tyler and Tris back together?"

"No. Wait, what? They're back together?" Zeke asks bewildered.

"I don't know! I'm asking you!"

"Okay, no. Well not that I know of, no." He tells me.

"Hmph." I'm about to say something until coach calls us into a huddle.

"Okay, cupcakes, I will be testing you boys by groups determining what position you want. I'll start with the kicker." A few boys step forward and Zeke and I sit on a bench. Uriah is trying out for the position of the kicker.

"So what happened between Tris and Tyler?" He asks me once we sit down.

"I don't know, I saw them talking and then he hugged her. Call me paranoid of something but-"

"You're paranoid. Don't worry, it was probably a friendly hug."

"You sure?"

"Im sure."

Just to my luck, I am the only one trying out for QB. The recent one had graduated last year and no one bothered to tryout. However, coach still calls me.

"Eaton! Get you're arse here this instant." Coach Martin sometimes really intimidates me.

He tells me to do a few things that are really simple. He throws a football from half court and tells me to catch it. I do it with ease.

After several drills he tells me that I'm done. "Good work. Dismissed." He waves me off.

Well then.

I head back to the boy's changing room. I change back into a long sleeved simple navy blue button up shirt and khaki pants. I slip on my converse, and grab my backpack from my locker.

"Tobias! Tobias, wait up!" I immediately turn around.

Tris runs up to me. "Gosh, you take forever to change."

"What are you doing here?" I ask her.

"I finished my figure skating early and I came as quickly as possible. I saw the note you left me." She catches her breath. My heart rate speeds up. And?

"And I really appreciate you doing that for me. I forgave you a while ago, you know? It's just sometimes I wish you tried harder. But all and all, I really appreciate it. Thank you." She smiles a little. I hate how she totally dismisses the part where I practically spill out my feelings of affection I have for her.

"So are we good?" I ask, hopeful. "Best friends?"

"Tobias, you can't do that. Friendship is earned out of trust, and until I can fully trust you then we can be back to where we were a while ago." She answers.

"You don't trust me?" My voice cracks.

"You broke a promise, remember? And you swore that you wouldn't break it. And it hurt a lot when you did."

"Promise? What promise?" Oh, right.

"That you wouldn't change. That you wouldn't let Lauren effect you. You turned into a real bitch and that hurt the most out of everything." I deserved that.

"Then just you wait Tris Prior. I will gain your trust." I step closer to her. "I'll do anything and everything."

"Tobias, just start small. I have to go, I'll see you later."

That gives me hope. One, that she implies we will be hanging out another time and the fact that she's giving me another chance.

And this time, I won't screw it up.

I think about what Zeke told me earlier today. When you love somebody, you let it go. But if they love you back, then they will find a way back.

Maybe, just _maybe_ , Tris loves me back.

And there is a spark of hope after all.

 **A/N: I did not expect myself to update that early. I usually try to update during the day, but whatever. I hoped you enjoyed, and have a lovely night. Bye!❤️**


	16. Part Sixteen

Chapter 16  
Tris' POV

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Usually when I wake up in the mornings, I am blasted with the nettlesome sound of my alarm clock. I would have to drag myself out of bed and continue with my morning routine.

Today, however, is different. I wake up an half an hour before I usually do, which annoyed me a little. However, I moved passed that. I was all giddy and smiles.

I got dressed in simple blue jeans, and plain white t-shirt and a sweatshirt over.

After my encounter with Tobias, I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I bike to school with a simple smile on my face. I turn fifteen and a half next month. I still can't drive yet.

"Tris!" Tyler runs up to me.

"Hi?"

"Do you want to hang out later?"

I'm a little wary of that idea. After our discussion yesterday before his football tryout, he made it clear to me that he won't try to do anything.

"Friends. I even invited Uriah and Mar so it won't be just us two." I raise an eyebrow.

" I don't know, Ty."

"Please? We're just going to get ice cream and that's it."

"Okay, fine. You're lucky my practice was cancelled today."

"Thank you." He hugs me and bids farewell.

I sigh. That boy, I swear.

* * *

As usual, I make my morning routine. Go to my locker, grab my books and then head to class.

When I read my locker, I quickly open it and is met with rose petals falling out for it. Not just a few, it must have filled up my whole locker.

Great.

People gather around to see what just happened. I'm going to kill Tobias.

"You like it?" He practically skips to me.

"Not really, because now I have to clean this up." I feign annoyance.

He sighs. "I'll help you." He drops down to the floor and takes out a bag from his pocket.

"It was really sweet though." I tell him softly.

"It was _supposed_ to be romantic." He says.

"It was cute." His eyes turn darker and he looks at me.

"Did you like it?" His lips turn a tad upwards.

"Maybe."

When all the rose petals are put into the bag, I hand it to Tobias and walk away.

"I'll see you later." I say with a smirk.

"Wait! What am I supposed to do with this?" He holds up the bag of rose petals.

"Compost? I don't know!" I walk away with him standing there.

And then I realize, I forgot my books!

* * *

"How exactly do you dissect a flower? I mean like do you just cut it or something?" He's been blabbering for the past half an hour.

"Tobias, will you shut up? I'm trying to concentrate."

"Tris, it's not even that hard. You don't even need to use the knife. All you have to do it peel the petals from the stem or whatever." I roll my eyes.

"You're not helping. Number one, what is the process of photosynthesis? How the hell am I supposed to know?" Our teacher doesn't teach shit.

"Uhm, well sunlight goes into the plant. Then, it goes through the flower or whatever. Stuff happens and bam! You have cholesterol and sugar!"

"You mean chlorophyll?" I ask.

"Right. Chlorophyll. Now write that down." He hands me my pencil.

"Tobias, you're explanation really sucked."

"Well thanks Tris, I'll try harder next time." He mumbles sarcastically.

"My parents asked me about you yesterday." I tell him. We were having dinner last night and my parents brought up Tobias. They asked how he was and why he hasn't been to our house in a long time.

"They did?" He says whilst raising both eyebrows.

"Yeah. They did. They want to know if you would like to go on a 'special trip' with our family tomorrow." Special trip as in fruit picking with us. I knew if I told him he would refuse to come.

"Special trip? Where?"

"I don't know they didn't tell me." I lie. My uncle has a twenty acre farm. It's one of his passion, farming that is. I've been there three times and I enjoyed picking fruit, mainly because they're all organic and really sweet and juicy.

"Sure, why not?" I almost laugh. "It's won't be that bad, right?" He smiles.

"Right." I nod my head.

"When is this?"

"Tomorrow, Saturday." I answer. Maybe I should tell him. It's an hour and a half drive from home and it's going to be freezing cold. Well, we're mostly going to be ducking the crops in my uncle's greenhouse.

"Come to my house at ten." I tell him.

The bell dismisses before he can say anything else. I turn in the worksheet, and Tobias disposes of the flower remains. After packing up, I head to my next class.

* * *

"Hi." A boy around the age of eighteen greets me. "What flavor would you like?"

"May I please have a mint chocolate chip, small on a sugar cone?"

"Sure thing." I watch as he takes a cone and a ice scream scooper for the ice cream.

I'm currently with Uriah, Mar, and Tyler, getting ice cream in the thirty degree weather.

"Tris!" Ashley, a mid-thirty year old woman greets me. "How are you?"

Around April I usually come to this ice cream shop for work. I've been working here for two years. Well, I come to work from April to late September just to make a little extra cash.

"Hi Ashley, how are you?"

"Great great. I see you come for ice cream." She says with a full smile.

"Hi Tyler." I forgot to mention, Tyler and I worked here for a few months together as well.

"Do I finally get my free ice cream you promised a while back?" He teases. They had made a bet back then saying whoever can make ten milkshakes in the east amount of time wins something. Tyler free ice cream for a month, Ashley, fifty bucks. He had won, and she never gave him his gift.

"Yeah, yeah whatever." She waves him off.

The boy hands me my ice cream and I silently thank him.

"This is my nephew, Dave." The boy gives a shy smile and then excuses himself to go to the back.

"How much?" I ask her. I don't want to keep Uriah and Mar waiting.

"No charge." She says kindly.

"Not happening. How much?" I say pulling my wallet.

"Tris, I can pay." Tyler stop my hands from reaching my pocket.

"Oh no you don't. I'm fully capable of paying for this."

We start bickering silently.

"For the love of God, it's fine. No charge." Ashley cuts is off.

I thank her, but end up putting a five in the tip jar.

I hear Mar and Uriah enter and sit at a table.

"So, how are you two?" I clear my throat.

"Oh, we're not together anymore." I shake my head.

"What?" Ashley asks, bewildered. "Oh I see." I can feel the awkwardness creeping in.

"Yeah, just friends." Tyler says emphasizing the 'friends'. I give him a wary look.

"It was nice talking to you, Ashley." I say politely.

"Yeah, you too, Tris and Ty. I'm hoping to see you back in April."

"You will, don't worries." He and I leave and sit where Uriah and Mar are.

"Took you two long enough." Uriah says with a mouthful of ice cream.

"Oh my gosh. You're such a child." Marlene takes a napkin and wipes his mouth.

I smile. Those two make such a lovely couple.

"Walk you home?" Tyler asks.

"Uhm, sure."

"So." He starts. "How's life?" I just want to run away. Now.

"Good, good. Everything's still the same, I guess. You?" I fiddle with my fingers.

"I miss you." I sigh deeply.

"Tyler. You have to stop." He needs to give up on me. We had or have, I don't know, a thing but now it's gone.

"Tris-" he pleads.

"No Ty! You keep getting me to say that we'll try being friends and next next moment, you're saying you miss me and implies that you want to get back together? You need to-" I sigh. "Please, just. I-I- I have feelings for somebody else." I've only admitted this to myself a few times and later on I'd decline any feelings for Tobias what's so ever. But now? I don't even know anymore.

"You mean for Tobias?" His voice cracks and I can't stand this. I can't stand this any longer.

"Yes. No. I don't know! I guess, yes." I mentally face palm myself.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I just really like you. A lot." He tells me while grabbing my hand.

"I like you too, but not in that way anymore. I'm sorry." I hug him one last time. "I'm sorry."

So yes. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Laugh because Tobias feels the same way as me or cry because I keep hurting Tyler over and over again.

Ugh. This is so complicated.

 **A/N: I hoped you enjoyed. I like author notes because you get to talk about random things and sometimes people actually read them:) I'm an incoming freshman and all the band kids have a band camp two weeks prior to school starting. We go over our music for two hours and learn how to march another two hours. It's fun, I guess. I learned that the seniors and sophomores it hilarious people. They always make inappropriate jokes and tease one another. My band teacher he's great! He has a fun relationship with all the students and likes to make fun of them. What I hate is that when school starts I'll have to deal with 3x the amount of fuckboys and bitches. Ugh, high school. My cousin says college is so much better because of you get into a really good school, there's usually only smart people. So you don't have to deal with all the annoying ones. But I'm excited.**

 **Moving on, review, comment, let me know what you think. I absolutely LOVE when you do comment. Anyways, check out my other story, Finding Home. Have a nice day, and I will see you soon. Bye!**


	17. Part Seventeen

Chapter 17

Tris' POV

He arrives at my house at nine- thirty sharp. Tobias' hair is wet and messed up when he arrives. He wears a long sleeved gray shirt and a back best over it. Cute.

"Hi. Did you eat breakfast yet?" I swing the door open.

"Uhm yeah." He says awkwardly. "I brought you this." He hands me a bouquet of flowers that I hadn't realize he was holding until now.

"Oh. Thank you." I take the flowers inside to the kitchen and lay them on the table finding a vase to put them in. When I find one, I fill it half way up with water and place the flowers in it.

"Tobias!" My mom practically runs over to him and gives him a bear hug. "How are you?"

"I'm well. Thank you Mrs. Prior. How about you?"

"Good. Thanks for asking. Okay, we will be taking off now. Kids, why don't you wait in the car."

Tobias follows me out of the front door and we both sit in back seat. Caleb comes a few minutes later with me sitting in the middle between the two boys.

"So...where are we going?" Tobias ask as my father starts the engine to the car.

"Beatrice didn't tell you? We're going fruit picking!" My dad exclaims.

"What?" He looks at me with wide eyes. "You didn't tell me that!"

"Well, I knew if I told you, you wouldn't have come with us." I say innocently.

"I hate you." He pokes me cheeks.

I sink down form my seat and lay my head against his chest. I haul my feet on Caleb's lap.

"Well then." Caleb rests his arms on my lap. Tobias wraps his arms around my torso and brings me closer.

"How long is the drive?" He whispers into my ear.

"An hour and a half." I answer softly.

"God damnit. I really hate you right now."

"I would hate me too. But I don't. I'm fabulous." I throw my arms in the arm dramatically.

He shakes his head at me. "You want to watch something?" He pulls out his phone.

Caleb sneaks glances at us every few seconds.

"Jealous?" I tease.

"Oh shut up."

"He's just annoyed you got to come and not Susan." I say loud enough for Caleb to hear.

"No I'm not!"

"Yeah, so annoyed." I laugh.

I take Tobias' phone from his hand and try to unlock his phone.

T-r-i-s. I type down.

"Darn!"

"Here, let me do it." He quickly types down his passcode. Once he does, I snatch the phone from his again and go to the Netflix app.

"Wow. Thanks."

I look up and smile at him.

"So Tobias-" my dad starts. _Great_ , just the thing I need. "How come you and Tris haven't been hanging out in a while."

"Dad."

"Uhh..." I look at him.

"We got into a little argument and now we're talking again. Let's just say that." I answer for him.

Caleb scoffs. "Ha, little argument."

I kick him in the groin.

"Aw- fuck!" He swears quietly. I laugh at him.

"I see. So you three excited to go fruit picking? Your uncle has lots of produce and they're all organic!" My mom loves farming. She loves it too much.

"Well I sure am excited. What about you, Tris?" Tobias smiles innocently at me.

"Well it was my idea to go in the first place, so yeah, I am excited actually." I really am. Just like my mother, I have a secret passion for growing produce and eating them.

"Sure you are..." I scoff. He doesn't believe me.

Dismissing what he is about to say next, I steal back his phone and start to browse his Netflix account.

I click on the TV series Psych, which he happens to be on season six, and we watch from where he left off.

My parents have wifi in the car somehow. I don't know how or why, so I remember to connect to it on his phone first.

When I look up, I notice that Caleb is engulfed into a book. His eyes are furrowed and are constantly moving left to right determining where he is on the page. His mouth moves slightly when he reads.

My parents have a conversation with each other. It's funny how they've been together for so long and is still able to be this much in love. My father's right hand and my mother's left are entwined together. My dad's thumb is constantly rubbing over her rings.

I shift my eyes back to the little screen. By this time, my back is fully against Tobias's chest resulting in me being able to feel the soft rise and fall of it. His breath send little tickle spots on my neck causing my shoulder to move upwards and rub against it. It tickles.

Maybe it was a bad idea for my to hold his phone because with the sound of my parents quietly speaking, the comfortable position I am currently in- being wrapped in Tobias' arms, I soon drift off into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Mm. Wake up Tris, we're here." Tobias's soft voice wakes me up. I stretch out my arms causing me to accidentally hit Tobias in the face.

"Oops sorry." I draw my hand down.

"It's fine." I unbuckle my seat belt and slide myself out the car. I stretch my sore muscles since I've been in an awkward position while sleeping. Once stretching my arms and tippy toeing and reaching up to the sky (I must look so stupid, but hey, don't tell me you don't stretch like that as well) like an idiot, I grab Tobias and we follow my parents into my uncle's home.

I uncle's house in nice and small. The inside is very modern and plain and the interior design is very nice. He has a two bedroom home with his wife Eleanor and daughter Jessica. However, Jessica is attending college at North Western (which is over two and a half hour drive from here).

"Tired?" A deep voice ask me.

"Hm?" I yawn. "Eh. Not anymore I guess." Usually when I wake up from a nap, I enter a daze. I space out and I blink my eyes rapidly to get them moisturized. I wear contacts so when I wake up from either a nap and still have them on or when I accidentally forget to take them off the night, my eyes are dry as fuck when I wake up.

"Okay."

I gently take his hand and lead to the greenhouse. It's now spring so new fruits are growing.

When we enter the greenhouse, my parents and my uncle are already somewhere. I pick up two baskets that sit next to the door entrance and hand one to Tobias.

"Let's pick some apricots." The greenhouse is unbelievably huge so I wasn't surprised when I saw a tree full of deporting apricots.

"I love apricots." Tobias tells me. I grin at him.

While picking the fruits, I notice Tobias picking the one that are not ripe. Biting my lip, I put my hand over his ignoring the weird feeling I get in my tummy when I do.

"See how those are still green? Those still need to grow. But these are rippe." I guide his hands to the fully orange and the ones that are slightly tinted with a red color.

I can feel him starring at me and I have to resist the urge to look back at him.

"You're so beautiful."

"What?" I'm taken back by the random comment.

"What? Oh nothing." I bite my lip and suppress and grin.

"Hey look." I change the subject. "I want to pick some strawberries.

My mom and Caleb are picking and the small bushes looking for large sized and ripe strawberries.

I seem to notice that I've been taking his hand a lot lately. But who cares? I like him and I'd do anything to have physical contact with him. What if Tobias kissed me right here, right now? Gosh he's so hot.

"Hey you okay?"

"Huh?" My cheeks turn red from the though of him kissing me.

Tobias shakes his head at me and leads me to one of the rows of strawberry bushes.

"This is actually a lot more fun than I though." He tells me while gathering the berries.

"And why is that?"

"Because I get to spend time alone with you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I really like you Tris." Like didn't know that already.

"I like you too." I say while my attention elsewhere.

"Good. Because I'm going to kiss you right now."

"Wait what?" I feel Tobias's hand grip my waist and spin me around. His eyes search mine briefly before leaning in.

"Mm. As much as I want you to kiss me, you shouldn't." I say pulling away.

"And why is that?" He pouts slightly.

"Because our relationship is still mending and until we are fully ready, I'll commit. But until then, I think we should stay...friends." I am not making any sense in my head right now.

"Did my crush just friend zoned me? Great, just great." Tobias throws his hands in the air.

"Don't get me wrong, you're amazing and all but I just ended a relationship and I think I need time." I really like Tobias, but it's better if we take things slow. After all, he hasn't quite proved himself worthy yet. We need to build back our trust. His lips though...

"Yup, just got friend zoned."

"Tobias," I say softly. "I like you, I really do. I just need time, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay." I can tell he is frustrated.

I lean my forehead against his chest.

 _I'm sorry._

* * *

My dad, Caleb, and Tobias help load the boxes of fruit and vegetables we collected the past day. My aunt taught me and my mom how to make homemade jam. It's quite simple especially the ingredient.

I grab the two jars of jam and place then into a small cardboard box so they won't somehow break on the drive back home.

"Thanks for having us." I say to my uncle and aunt.

"Of course! We'll see you next time, hopefully in the summer?"

"Yes, definitely." I give them both one last hug before going back to the car.

"Beatrice." My uncle calls. "That's one fine lad you have over there." He motions to Tobias's figure that is patiently waiting the car. "He's a keeper."

I smile. "Yeah, he is." With a sigh, I open the car doors and slide myself over Tobias's lap onto the middle seat.

"You're right you know. We should take things slow. I have to prove myself to you before doing whatever it is we have between us. I just-"

I cut him off. "Thank you for understanding."

"Mhm. Yeah." He buries his face into the crook of my neck.

My parents finally come back and we speed back home.

Whether I like it or not, I need Tobias and he needs me.

 **A/N: How's school (if you started this week)? High school is so much more different than middle. It was first day of my freshman year on Wednesday, God dammit everyone is so freaking tall and there's so many people. I swear, teachers must love giving out homework, cause I have a lot- sort of. But it's okay. So I've been working on a bother chapter for this story although I don't have the other chapters that is supposed to go before it. But I realized is that when I write something sad, I have to get into the mood. So I read sad post that I search on Google. I cry, and then I write the chapter because I'm so sad after reading the post. So that's how I get into the mood.**

 **Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed. I'll see you soon.**


	18. Part Eighteen

Chapter 18

Tris' POV

 _Fuck_!- Is the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning. My lower abdomen hurts like a bitch and all I want to do is die.

Cramps. Fucking hate cramps. For me, it hurts like hell when I get them. It's so bad I'm not physically capable to go to school those days. To make matters worst, I think I'm sick.

"Mom!" My voice is raspy and cracks when I try to call for my mom.

"Mom! Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom." I repeat like a chant. When is she going to hear me, dammit!

"WHAT?!" I can clearly hear the agitation in her voice.

"Cramps!" Fuck this. I have a headache. "Can you give me Tylenol?"

"Okay!" My body is face downwards with my face buried in my pillow. My arms are at my side. I must look like a dead worm.

I hear soft knocks on my door moments later. I turn myself over and see my mom holding a tray.

"I'm assuming you won't be going to school today. Oh god, are you sick? You look terrible." She places the tray on my night stand.

"I feel terrible."

"Aw my poor baby." She sits down on the edge of my bed and feels my forehead. "You're heating up. Do you want me to stay home today? I can skip work."

"No, no, no. I don't want to be a bother. I can take care of myself. I'm probably going to stay in bed the whole day anyways."

"You sure because-"

I smile. My selfless mother. "Don't worry, Ma. I'll be fine." She smiles warmly at me before kissing me on the top of my head and leaving the room. I'm such a child. But who cares? I sometimes love still feeling like one.

"Okay I'll excuse you from school. I'll see you later baby."

"Thanks Ma. I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart."

I eat the breakfast my mom prepared me- French toast and bacon. Pigs are cute and all but I don't think I'll ever be able to survive without bacon. It doesn't help to the fact that I'm eating oily foods especially having my period and all. Whatever.

After feeding my empty stomach, I pop two Tylenol pills and wash it down with a large sip of water.

My laptop is on the other side of my room. God dammit. I force myself out of bed ignoring the stabbing pain in my lower abdomen and drag myself out of bed and walking towards me desk to retrieve my laptop. It's _so_ far and I'm _so_ lazy. Going back to bed, I go on Netflix and watch TV.

Mid way through my episode of Supernatural, my phone buzzes. Groaning loading, I swing my arm in an upside down 'u' shape and search for my phone on my night stand. I unplug it and see a text message notification.

 _Where are you?_ \- It's from Tobias.

 _Home._ I reply. _I'm sick._

Guys tend to get weirded out when you mention anything with periods. Maybe it's the thought of blood flowing out of your lower region. Such wusses.

 _Oh. I hope you feel better. I'm sad you're not at school, I miss you._

He literally saw me two days ago. We even face timed last night.

 _Oh boo hoo. I'm sorry Mother Nature deceives me. She likes to mess with me every month._

Maybe he will understand what I'm insinuating.

 _I'm not following._ His reply causes me to roll my eyes.

 _Never mind. I'll see you later, probably tomorrow._

Not in the mood to continue our text because I'd rather watch TV, I turn my attention back to my laptop and un-pause the show.

My phone keeps buzzing. Again and again and again for like five minutes straight.

"WHAT THE HELL DOES HE WANT?" I seem to yell at no one in particular.

 _WHAT_? I text him.

 _Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?_

 _You are so ridiculously annoying. What the hell do you what?_ I angrily text him. A girl needs her damn space.

 _I just want to talk._ I don't even bother reading his previous texts he spammed me with.

 _And?_

 _Are you feeling better?_

 _Yeah. Cramps aren't as bad. Headache is gone. Fever is still there but not as bad as this morning._ I text him.

 _Huh. That must have been one hell of a morning._

 _Yeah, it definitely was._

 _Hey look. I'm really tired and I think I'm going to take a nap. I'll talk to you later?_

I don't wait for a response, so I get up. I charge my laptop, and close the curtains so it becomes dark in my room. I turn off the lights and tuck myself into bed.

 _Okay, sleep well beautiful._ I fall asleep with a smile on my face.

* * *

I wake up with a damp layer of sweat over my body. I really hate fevers.

Despite my lightheadedness, I go to the bathroom and pee. I change my pad and wash my hands. Washing my face, I notice my skin is paler than usual. Funny, because I never thought I could be paler than this. I guess wrong. I'm pretty darn pale, so it never surprises me when I burn. I don't tan, I burn.

Noticing the time, I realize that it is already three thirty. Last period of the day ended at puns fifteen minutes ago.

I check my phone again and see three new texts.

 _Heard you're sick. I'm coming over to bring you food_. -Christina

 _You awake?_ -Tobias

 _Bea, do you want anything from Panera Bread? Heard they have good soup._ -Caleb

I respond to all three of the texts. I am so bored. There is literally nothing to do here. Ironic, because whenever it's the weekend I seem to always have something to do, even if it's literally nothing. If on have nothing to do, I always keep busy with the TV. When I'm sick, I watch TV but I still am super bored. Where's the logic in that?

I finally decide on checking the schools website for homework that I missed for today.

But before, I take another two pills and chug it down with water. My cramps still hurt but it isn't as bad. I can actually move. Usually when I get them, I can barely move a limb. It hurts way to much plus the fever and all.

I hear the doorbell ring and go downstairs to answer it.

"I brought you soup!" Christina holds be a brown paper bag.

"Thank you so much, Chris." I go in for a hug. Thank god she's here. I am so ridiculously bored.

"Oh okay. Now I know you are definitely sick." She slightly pushes me off of her.

"I have really bad cramps." I whine.

"Aww my poor girl. That's why I came prepared. My mom when I first got my periods, my mom told me that red raspberry leaf tea helps. Don't drink caffeine because it doesn't help at all, it just makes it worst. Go herbal." She goes to the kitchen and I follow her. I love how she knows exactly where everything is and always makes herself at home here.

She turns on the stove and puts a kettle of water over it.

"So-" she starts. "You and Tobias. He kept trying to text you today." I groan.

Ever since we started building our relationship back again, he starting to sit with my friends again. When he was dating Lauren, he would starting sitting with her and all the guys she hung out with. That bitch, always flirting with guys behind his back. Anyways, he would start hanging out with the other school jocks. After our fight, he sat with them completely.

"I don't even- ugh, it's complicated."

"Psh. I doubt it. You like him, he likes you. It's not complicated, Tris. It's convenient. I say you two go for it."

"But, I don't want to. I literally just got off from a relationship two weeks ago. I need space. I don't need to rely on boys to make me happy. I am an independent girl and don't need boys in my life to achieve true inner happiness. Wow, I don't even know what I'm saying right now. Point is, I don't want to jump into a relationship right away especially since I was just in a long one." I conclude.

"Okay fine then. I understand. Anyways, you look like crap, no offense."

I smile. "None taken. I totally agree. I have to take a shower. I've been sweating a whole bunch and I feel really hot right now." Although I am only wearing a tank top and sweatpants, I feel like I'm burning up."

"I should go. I'll see you tomorrow hopefully. If not, then I'll see you soon, girl." She gives me a hug.

"Thanks Chris for the food and all. You truly a great friend."

"I know."

I head back to my bedroom after she leaves and bring a new set of clothes into the shower along with a towel. I set the water hot and set my used clothes aside. Stepping into the shower, I let it drench my body.

I am such a hypocrite. Huh, wow.

Though the water is pretty hot, I turn it up higher because that's what I find myself doing a lot when I'm sick.

I let my thought run wild and they eventually land on Tobias. Oh my god, that dude needs to learn what the word "space" means. Better yet, he should have secure what "personal space" mean. I mean seriously. Sure I like him and all. But bruh. Like bruh. Personal space, dude.

When I realize I've been in the shower for too long, I turn it off and walk out. Grabbing a towel, I wrap it around my body and dry myself off. After doing so, I put in a new set of clothes which consist of a black t-shirt and the same pajama pants I was wearing today.

Talk about personal space. I pick up my phone.

 _Whatcha' doing?_

 _Oh my gosh Tobias, what do you want?_

 _You doing anything right now?_ He texts me.

I'm about to watch TV. I text him while walking to the living room when the TV is.

I turn the TV on and click on the Netflix app. I thank the wonderful person who create Netflix in the first place. Bless them. I have no idea what I'd do without Netflix. Gosh, I need to start working out more.

 _Ah, I see. You feeling better?_

 _Yeah, a lot better. Thanks for asking. Still have them craps, though._

 _Seriously? That's a freaking long crap. Why is that?_

 _You're so clueless. I'm on my period you, silly._

 _Oh._

I think I must have freaked him out because he doesn't say anything after that. Boys and they're idiocy. Us women are a lot more tougher than they are. Like one, we have to go through menstrual cycles and two, we have to push like a six pound body out of a tiny thing. What man has the strength to do that?

I lay in the couch on my sides with my hands tucked underneath my head while staring at the screen. I continue the movie, The Godfather.

Around seven-thirty Caleb walks in through the front door.

"I'm home!" He yells.

"Woah dude, I'm right here. No need to yell." I say.

"Where's Mom and Dad?"

"Still at work. They said they'll be here around eight." I tell him while still looking at the screen.

"Oh okay. I bought food if you want. I'll leave it in the fridge." I thank him and he walks up to his room. I continue watching the movie until I hear the bell ring.

"Bea! Get the door!"

Gosh damn it. I roll myself off the couch causing me to fall into the floor.

"Ow." I say out loud. I sand up and sluggishly walk to the door.

When opening the door, I am taken aback."

"Uhm...what is this?" I see a giant teddy bear, I swear it is literally larger than the size of me standing right in front of me.

"You like it?" Tobias steps the the side. Oh my god, of course it's him.

He holds a bouquet of variety of flowers with a spectrum of colors and a box of chocolate with the box shaped in a heart.

This is _so_ adorable.

"When you told me you had a crap and was on your period I immediately rushed to the nearest Costco to buy you these things. I knew they would have these ginormous teddy bears so I went to buy one for you. So here." He hands me the flowers and chocolates. He lifts the fifteen pound or so stuffed animal and carries it into my house. I'm so speechless. Like what the fuck? He's so sweet. What? Fucking what?! I don't understand how he can be so incredibly romantic. Like what the heck.

I stare at him. Who knew Tobias had the biggest soft side ever.

"Oh my god. You don't like it? Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. This is awkward."

"No, no, no! I'm just, I don't know. You're so adorable. This was so cute. I'm sick, you're treating me like I just got hit by a car and am now in the hospital. Wow, I'm making no sense. Ugh, Tobias. What the heck." How can someone this tuff be so caring and ughhh.

"So you do like it?"

I smile. "Yes, I do. Of course I do."

"Good. Oh, I also bought you you're favorite ice-cream. He pulls out two pints of ice-cream. One is mint chocolate for myself and the other is cookies and cream, his favorite."

I bite my lip as I watch him put too much concentration into opening the lip of the ice cream. Ben and Jerry's- I love Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

He takes a spoon from the kitchen drawer and hands it to me and then takes one for himself.

"Do you want to watch a movie with me, well I'm watching one right now though. You want to stay for a bit longer?" I ask him.

"I was sort of planning to."

We walk back to the living room and the first thing I see is the giant teddy bear. Great, my Dad will sure ask my a whole bunch of questions regarding to that now that I think about it.

Tobias lays on his side on the inner side of the couch and motions to me to lay right next to him.

"C'mere." He pats the spot next to him. I lay next to him and he hugs my waist and brings me against his body.

Instead of facing to the TV, I turn to my other side and look at him. His eyes drop down to wear my face is and he furrows his eyebrows.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just-" I stop myself from saying anything else. My face tips upwards and I lean and kiss his lips gently. I feel his lips pucker and I pull away and bite my lip. Turning back around, I rest my head against his chest. I can't seem to fight this stupid smile that makes its way to my face.

So yes, I'm such a hypocrite.

But gosh damn, he has such soft lips.

"Oh fuck." I say realizing something.

"What?" I can feel the stupid grin that is probably on his face right now.

"I probably got you sick."

 **A/N: I'm sorry if I freaked some of you out about periods and all (for those of you who don't have it, or if you're a guy and you are uncomfortable with the idea of it, if guys even read this fanfic). Oh my gosh, now that I think about it, are there actually any guys who read this? Tell me if you do because then I'd be pretty shocked.**

 **Do you guys have a snapchat? I realize that it would be pretty cool if I got to know some of you. I have no friends, I'm just kidding. But it's really cool getting to know people who have the same interest in you. Mine is kat1678 if you want to add me. But please tell me who you are (like comment your snapchat if you do) otherwise I'll think you are some weird random stranger and I don't want to think that. I hoped you enjoyed. My friend, she's a senior and she's dating a HAPA (lucky her) and when she got her period she had a bad cramp, and they happened to be texting. So what he did was he bought her flowers and chocolates that's where I got the idea from. The main purpose of this chapter was just so I could write that, LOL. (I can't put a laughing emoji). I hoped you enjoyed and I will see you guys later. Bye!**


	19. Part Nineteen

**This chapter this unedited, well I reread like half of it, but I am too damn tired to proof-read the rest, so apologizes for any errors (if there are any) in this chapter.**

Chapter 19

Tobias' POV

There's a lot of commotion at school when I arrive. I wouldn't be surprised, today is the opening game and our school is huge when it comes to football. We've won nine consecutive championships and this year we're aiming for our tenth. Though there's so much pressure, I think my team can pull it off. There are blue and gold balloons hung everywhere and several posters written in spirited of the game.

I spot Tris at her locker- like always before school starts. She is loading a few binders in her locker.

"Hey." I practically skip over to her. After she kissed me two days ago, one, I got sick which is why I didn't go to school the other day, and two, I could stop thinking of her damn lips.

So _freaking_ soft.

"Hm? Oh, hey. Heard you got sick yesterday. Sorry about that." A deep red color makes its way to her cheeks. How cute.

"It's fine. Are you coming to the football game tonight?" I ask.

"I don't know. I have figure skating after this, then I have tutoring, after that I have a programming class." What the hell? How does one manage that?

"Tutoring?"

"Yeah it's part of AP Spanish. I'm required to tutor a student."

"Why would they do that? Especially on the first game?"

I take her hands in mine. "Why don't you go to practice and then cancel the tutoring and skip the programming class?" I say more of a question. "I don't understand. How the hell are you taking like three AP classes? I thought sophomores were only allowed to take one."

"Technically yes. Though I'm taking AP Euro, AP Spanish and Calculus. I'm fluent in Spanish we lived in Spain for like a year, so I adapted to the language. Besides the fact that the Spanish in Spain is a little different for the Spanish spoken in Mexico for example. They're obviously different types because of other countries and all-" she looks at me and must notice how lost I am.

"Never mind. But I took a test and I was good enough to skip Spanish 5,6 and 7,8. I did a whole bunch of college courses online and I enrolled in a class with a professor at Harvard. So I got real ahead in math. And for AP Euro, like every sophomore is permitted to take that, so I did."

What the fuck? "And yet you managed to juggle a shit load of stuff each day."

"Yeah well. I don't know how I do it. It's good for college you know?" She says.

"Yeah, that's true."

"Hey what class do you have?" She touches my arm to get my attention.

"Well it's a block day, so pre-cal." I answer. She's so adorable in her outfit. She's wearing a Cotten white shirt. God damn, does it show the right amount of chest- stop it!...and blue jeans with some sort of flats.

"Hey you okay?" She didn't see me staring did she?

"Oh." I clear my throat. "Uhm...yeah. Of course...yeah." _You fucking moron._

We continue walking to God knows where.

"Wait-" I stop her. "Didn't you do cheerleading last year?"

"God don't remind me. But yeah why?" She asks.

"You were in the varsity squad though." I say like it's obvious.

"Yeah and that's important because...?"

"I don't get you Tris. You have a fucking 4.0 GPA, you take like three AP classes, and you freaking on the swimmer and competitive figure skater. The fuck? How does one manage that?" She never cease to amaze me.

"Actually 4.7 GPA. I just- I don't know. It's hella stressful, but I can do it and I'm good at the things I do." She tells me.

"Yeah. But please just try to come to the game." I beg. I need her there.

"I'll try. Okay?"

"Okay. I'll see you later." I kiss her cheek. Whoops, too soon? She nods and walks towards her class.

Fuck. Did I scare her away?

* * *

English can't be this long. I've been sitting here for the past hour and I think my legs may be numb. Whoops? I stretch them out from my awkward sitting position- one leg tucked in the other just hanging, and hear the soft crack my knee makes when I stretch it out. Mm...much better.

Ugh. Tris is so confusing. I cannot read her. One moment we would be helplessly flirting and then she'd kiss me. She's taking things slow, Tobias. But seriously? I am so freaking confused. Of course I want to be with her, make make up your mind woman! The least I can be is patient. I like her too much and I don't want to screw things up. I seem to have a bad reputation for doing that.

She's so damn beautiful both inside and out. When she was with Tyler...god that was so tortuous. I had to deal with their lovey dovey crap. I couldn't stand it. I was jealous. I hate admitting jealousy, but I was so incredibly jealous. She was with someone that wants me and I couldn't stand it. Is that what she felt like with me and Lauren? I hope not. No one deserves to feel that way. It's like a fire burning in your chest spreading rapidly until it burns everything in you. It's horrible...

The bell disturbs me from my thoughts and I quickly pack up my belongings. I hate block schedules. An hour and a half my ass.

Noticing that it is finally lunch, after a tortuous three hours of school so far, I go to the cafeteria where I usually eat lunch.

"Sup dude." A pair of hands clasp me on my shoulder. Glancing quickly behind my back, I see Zeke with a grin on his face.

"Hey, what's up?" We walk side beside each other.

"Big game today, you excited?" He nudges me.

"Hell yes." We're playing against South City High. This game will be easy. We always beat them by a lot. But who knows, I may be wrong. But I am very excited and I have a good feeling about the game.

"Yeah, I have a good feeling about this."

"Mhm." I spot Tris smiling at talking to Uriah when I enter the cafeteria. I'm not surprised. She and Uri are practically brother and sister. They've gotten real close the past two years, and it's good for two people to look out for each other so much. I'm not jealous of their relationship. Well okay, maybe I was at first but I came to learn it was just a brotherly-sister thing going on between them. Of course, he really likes Marlene, so I have nothing to worry about.

"No! But pigs are so much better than lambs!" Tris laughs.

"That's what I said! But noooo, of course Mr. Hopkins thinks lambs are better. He's so silly."

I walk up to them with Zeke trailing behind me rest my arms on Tris' shoulder and pull her in for a hug from her back.

"Lambs are cutter though." I say.

Uriah gasps. "Don't you dare. Pigs are so much cutter. And they're all fat and innocent. Lambs are boring and eat grass all day."

"And pigs aren't boring? They literally lay in the mud all day and do nothing." I argue.

"Wow, you're not my friend anymore, Tobias. How dare you." I smile at Uriah's playful manner and sit next to Tris.

"You guys are so ridiculous." Zeke says to us.

"But you love us anyways." Tris teases.

"Strangely, I do." He smiles.

"How was your day?" I nudge her.

"Spanish was really fun. We played bingo and I won like three homework coupons." I laugh at her excitement for homework coupons.

"Okay...calm down tiger. That's cool."

"How about you?" She munches on some fries.

"Boring. I just want the day to end." I answer.

"Well you only have one class left." She points out.

"That's true."

After half an hour, the bell signals that lunch ends so I say goodbye to Tris and the others before heading back to class.

I need this day to end. Like now.

* * *

She can't make it. She just texted me.

 _I'm so sorry! I have practice until eight thirty. Can't make it._

Are you fucking serious?! I'm not mad at her, I'm just annoyed of her god damn schedule that prevents her from ever doing anything.

Ugh.

I hurry to the gym to change into my gear.

"You okay? You look like someone just ran over your dog."

"Well thanks. Tris can't make it to the game, and I'm pretty bummed." Like seriously, who _doesn't_ go to the first game. Seriously.

Pre-game practice is horrible. Coach really drills is down on the game play and he constantly looks at me to make sure I know every last detail of what we are going to do. I have to lead the warm ups which consist of 80 push ups, 200 sit-ups and jumping jacks. We run the track six times with a minute break after every two laps.

It's five thirty by the time we finish everything. We have an hour to rest and take a break. I stretch my muscles with Zeke and Uriah.

"God, it's the first game and he's making us work. I'm going to be so sore after today." Zeke complains.

"Yeah. My legs are burning. what the hell, how are you not sweating?" Uriah asks me.

"Oh I am, trust me I am, but it wasn't that bad. Coach used to train me one on one and let's just say I've had worse." I reach out to touch my toes.

"Damn, Tobias. You have a nice ass." Zeke whistles.

"Why thank you. I do butt flexers twice a day." I joke.

"Wait, what are butt flexers?" He looks at me like I'm crazy.

"You put a weight in your butt crack and you squeeze." I deadpan.

Zeke looks mortified and I burst out laughing.

"Oh my gosh, I'm joking!" I exclaim. "I just made butt flexers up. I actually wouldn't be surprised if it was a thing, but I'm one hundred percent joking."

"Okay good."

"But I'm flattered you think I have a nice butt." I tease.

"I'm sure Tris appreciates it very much." That gets me and I feel my cheeks burning.

"Holy crap. Uriah look, Tobias is blushing! Oh my god! That's so cute!" Zeke starts going around the field telling the other jocks that I'm blushing because of a girl.

As if. I don't blush. Yeah right.

You fucking idiot, you just admitted to it not even five seconds ago. The seniors look at me and start cheering me on.

This is so embarrassing. I am so embarrassed.

When is this game going to start?

I'm not surprised the bleachers were all filled up by six thirty. Our school is so ridiculously crazy when it comes to football. I just love it- being able to preform in front of a crowd and with them cheering you on...it's exhilarating.

The sun is setting around this time, so the field lights turn on illuminating the place. I spot Marlene and Christina in the mist of the crowd, but no Tris. She really isn't coming. My thoughts are confirmed when I make eye contacts with Christina and she shakes her head giving me a pitied look.

Damn it, Tris.

This is useless.

The game starts out boring. We score seven points the first half an hour with us in the lead by five. One of the senior players makes a touchdown and our school starts screaming and cheering.

My minds seems to wander a lot throughout the game because the next thing I know, it is already half time and the cheer leaders are starting to fill in he field to do their performance.

I remember last year when Marlene and Tris made some bet, I don't remember what, but it was really funny. Tris ended up losing and her punishment was to try out for the team. Of course being her, she complained and whined the whole year saying how cheerleaders we basically fake gymnast and ridiculous. It brings back many memories.

It's ten to eight and the sun has completely set leaving it dark outside beside the "stadium" lights. Coach has a huge gleam on his face due to our win so far; 37-15.

Zeke approaches me and hands me a bottle of Gatorade. "Drink." He says to me.

"Thanks." I hold up the bottle at him.

"No problem. You look so sad and frustrated. It's obviously Tris. She's not coming, no big deal. You can see her tomorrow."

"But tomorrow's Saturday." I whine.

"So, and that's stopping you because...?"

"She won't go out with me."

Zee scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Tobias, you are such a whiny bitch. Look, she obviously likes you, so it's bound to happen eventually. Now stop complaining and forget about her for the rest of the game and you can day dream about her for how ever long you want. Just not right now."

I scoff. I am _not_ a whiny bitch. "Fine."

We are called back to the field and the cheerleaders finished their performance as well as the marching band.

Eight thirty- and we are winning by twenty-three points.

My eyes wander all over the place and I look at the gate. Squinting my eyes, I see a petite blonde figure talking to a boy-Caleb.

 _Tris_.

She lied. My heart thunders in my chest and I can practically feel it flipping over and over again. She came.

I watch as see looks up and down from her phone and then looks in the crowd of people sitting on the bleachers. She must be looking for Christina or something.

She looks so cute. She's wearing blue jeans, a large sweatshirt with out school's initials. The sweatshirt does all the way under her but and the sleeves are extra long. She wears a navy blue beanie that matches the color of the sweatshirt. I just want to wrap my arms around her small body. She's so damn beautiful.

Maybe staring at her wasn't a good idea because a player from another ends up running into me causing me to knock down.

"Fuck." I push myself up.

The whistle blows and Zele jogs over to me.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Sorry, I just got distracted."

"Tobias, we just talked about this. You need to forget about-"

I point to where she is and his mouth makes an "o" shape. "Ah. Aw, she looks so adorable. Like a baby elephant."

"A baby elephant?" I ask while we walk back to the fifty yard line.

"Uh huh." I smile and she catches my eye. That's just makes me smile even more.

"Okay, Mr. Happy. She's here now you need to focus."

"That's going to be a problem."

* * *

The game ends with a score of 78-42 with us in the win. Our school cheers unbelievably loudly and they fill the field.

I see Tris in the distance and is about to head towards her until I get my name being called.

"Tobias!" I quickly turn around for the source of where the voice came from.

A brunette girl walks up to me. I clench my jaw.

"Lauren."

"You did great."

"Thanks, what do you want?" I snap.

"Your so hot when you talk that way." I mentally cringe. God help me.

"Okay. Look, I have to get going, so-"

"Wanna hang out at my place later?"

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

"No thanks. Look, I really I have to go."

"Oh to Tris? You and I both know we made a totally better couple. I have more to offer." I think she's trying to be seductive, but I can't tell.

"That's great." I sarcastically say. "You can find another boy to annoy, and I'll be off." I quickly scurry off.

I can't believe I actually liked her. I'm a fucking idiot.

"You and I will be together!"

How about no?

Tris' back is faced towards me and I tickle her in the sides.

She squeals really loudly and hits me in the face.

"Oops sorry! I didn't know it was you."

"Well obviously." I run my cheek.

"You made it."

She sighs. "Yeah, I finished practice at seven, and tutoring cancelled same with my programming class."

"Well I'm glad you made it, even though you were late."

She smiles. "You played really well." She pats my cheek.

Christina and Marlene scurry off somewhere ah oh leaves me with Tris and myself.

Tris pulls out something wrapped in tinfoil.

"What is that?" I ask.

"It's a Nutella sandwich."

I laugh. "Why?"

"Well, this is my dinner."

Before she can take a bite, I take it and throw it in he nearest trash can mentally patting myself on the back when I make it.

"What the hell, Tobias?!"

"You are not eating that. I'm going to take you out for dinner."

"That's not necessary." She starts to ramble.

"I'm going to take you out o get food. Not shut up and let's go." I take her hand.

"Wait!" I stop. "I need to text my parents."

I smile. "Oh my gosh, do it on the way."

"Fine, fine." I find my favorite dinner and pull up to the parking lot.

"It's ten, are you sure they're still opened?"

"Yes, now stop asking questions."

She huffs and get out of the car.

"You look so cute tonight." I poke her nose and open the door for her.

I am not longer in my uniform. I had quickly showered and changed in less than ten minutes while Tris waited in the car.

"Uhm thanks."

"Tobias!" Tori emerges from somewhere and greets me. "And you brought a girl! You must be Tris. Tobias talks about you all the time. It's so cute, he'll never shut up when he's talking about you."

She blushes deeply. "That's a lie."

"It's not a lie." Tori cuts me off. "He's just embarrassed."

"Because you're embarrassing me!"

Tris laughs. "Don't be embarrassed. I think it's sweet."

"See!" Tori exclaims. "Anyways, what can I get you two?"

I order for her. "You know what but make it two."

Tori bids and pats the table before going to fetch our food.

I turn to Tris and she has wears a smirk.

"What?"

"You talk about me? How cute."

"Oh shut up."

Tori comes back a minute later holding two plates of chocolate cake.

"You're making me eat cake for dinner?" Tris gives me a weird look.

"Eat it. It's super filing and delicious." She pokes at the cake.

"You're supposed to eat it not poke it." I watch as she feeds her self a bite and she smiles.

"Mm. It's really good. It's so moist and chocolatey at the same time but it's also not too sweet."

"Right?! It's my favorite thing in the world. Okay maybe I'm exaggerating but it's seriously one of my favorite foods."

"I don't blame you." She says with a mouthful of cake. "It so good. I'd chose it over you any day."

"That hurt." I put my hand over my heart. "That hurt right here."

"Oh shush."

When we finish the cake, I pay (despite Tris' protest) and we say goodbye to Tori.

I drop Tris home.

"Thank you." I walk her to the front door. "I really appreciate the cake and all."

"No problem." I smile. She opens the door and I stop her from going any further.

"Tris." I say.

"Yes?" She turns around.

I walk right in front of her and kiss her right on the lips. My head has to dip a little. The kiss is awkward and unexpected at first, even I surprised myself. My as seconds pass, I feel her hand clutch my t-shirt and her lips move against mine. She is such an amazing kisser. I pull away and rest my forehead on hers.

"I really, really like you."

"I like you too."

And that's all I need to hear for now.

 **A/N: This chapter is a lot longer than I anticipated it to be, but I hoped you enjoyed. Have a lovely day and I will see you later.**


	20. Part Twenty

**A/N: Please read the author's note at the bottom.**

Chapter 20

Tris' POV

 _I'm so bored._

Like so ridiculously bored.

Caleb and I are currently having a Star Wars movie marathon.

"This is so boring! I've seen these movies like a hundred times. Let's do something fun." I complain while stuffing my mouth with popcorn.

"Sorry, Bea. I have to take a range check. I'm taking Susan out for lunch."

"Ughhh." I whine. "You suck."

"I'll see you later sis." He kisses the top of my head and leaves out the front door.

Caleb probably forgot something because right after the door closes, there is a knock on the door.

I spot his phone in the living room table and pick it up.

"Hey, I forgot my phone-"

"Here. I hand it to him.

"Thanks!" He says.

I spot Tobias walking down the street and I have to squint my eyes to make sure it is him.

"What are you doing here?" I shout.

"What?!" He shouts.

"What are you- do you know what, never mind don't answer that."

When he reaches the front porch he smiles.

"What?" I ask him. He looks too suspicious.

"Nothing. You doing anything right now?" He asks me.

"Yes." _No._

"What?" God damn it.

"You know. I was just watching a movie with Caleb." _I was boring myself to death._

"But he just left." He points to the car that is no longer in the driveway.

"Why are you here anyways?" I change the subject.

I like Tobias and all but I like to spend time alone once in a while. Oh my god, who am I kidding I'm so freaking bored and Tobias is so hot right now. Hm, it would feel nice if his arms were wrapped around me. When he kissed me yesterday, God when he kissed me. It was the best thing in the world.

"Tris?"

"Huh? You have nice lips." I blurt. I mentally face palm myself for saying that out loud.

"What?" He furrows his eyebrows but then I watch his face as it slowly turns into a smirk. "Nice lips, eh?"

"Shut up. You still haven't answered my question, what are you doing here?"

"Well since you must be having the time of your life alone in this house-" he exclaims sarcastically, "then you wouldn't mind if I took you out for the day."

"Sure." I say plainly.

"You serious?" He must be surprised I even said yes.

"Did you not hear me? I said yeah, I'll come with you."

He clears his throat. "Kay cool." He tries to act casual but desperately fails. He rests on his arm on a wooden stand but it ends up slipping bringing him down with it.

I laugh out loud at his clumsiness.

"I know I shouldn't be laughing, but are you okay?" I offer my hand, but that would probably have no use because I'm super weak. But he takes it anyways and pushes himself up.

"Mhm. I'm fine." He brushes himself off.

"You're adorable." I say with a smile on my face.

I tell him I'm going to go grab something quickly. I run up to my room and grab my phone and quickly change into something appropriate instead of my pajamas and go back down.

"Kay, ready. Where are we going? I ask him.

"Carnival. It's only a quarter mile walk so I hope you don't mind."

"I don't mind." I say. "I know I said this, but you did really well yesterday. I'm so proud of you."

He smiles. "Thank you. That means a lot coming from you. I'm so glad you were even able to make it."

"Yeah. I just couldn't get enough of you." I express sarcastically.

"Obviously. I'm fabulous." He poses and frames his face with both hands with giving a huge exaggerated smile.

"Don't get your panties in a twist. Your not _that_ amazing. There can only be one fabulous person in this relationship of ours and its me."

He smirks at the comment. "Relationship, eh?"

"Not that relationship!" I defend regretting my terminology of saying "relationship". "You wish." I scoff.

"Mhm."

We arrive to the carnival a mere five minutes later and walk up to the front to purchase tickets.

I buy fifty tickets for the games and food because I happened to beat Tobias to it.

"That's cheating! You said Beyoncé was behind me." He exclaims.

"And you actually believed me. If she was actually here than in sure there would be a swarm of people trying to get to her. And plus, you're just gullible."

"I am not! You tricked me!"

"Hey Tobias?" A sly smile makes it way to my face.

"Did you know if you say gullible really slowly it sounds exactly like orange." I ask.

"Really? Or-ange. Gullllll-i-bllleee"

I laugh really loudly. "You're a genius." I exasperate.

"Wait..." He stops. "You tricked me! It doesn't."

I roll my eyes. "Sure." I pat him on the back.

I find a bumper car place and drag Tobias with me. After handing the man tickets, Tobias and I each get our own car.

We hear a buzzer signaling that we may now start driving. Tobias bumps my car several times laughing as he does.

"Come on Trissy, you actually have to move the car."

My car is not agreeing with me right now.

"I'm sorry Mr. I'm-already-sixteen-and-have-my-drivers-license, but unlike some people, I'm not even fifteen and a half yet." Just as I say it, I finally am able to get my car to move and bump into Tobias' car.

"Cute."

We leave after the time is out and keep walking around to do something else.

"You want to go on the Ferris wheel?" I ask him.

"No."

"Please? Please, pleaseeeeee?"

"Tris, I really don't want to."

"Tobias it's not even like fifty feet tall. It won't be that bad." I try to convince him.

"Fifty feet my ass. I'll stay here, you can go." He sits on a bench and looks at me expectingly.

"I'll do anything."

He seems to think about the offer for a while.

"Okay."

"Yay! What do you want?" I ask.

"You owe me a kiss. Right here." He points to his lips.

I bite my lip. It is a fair trade. I do like kissing him.

"Okay, let's go." The line is around ten minutes we we just stand and talk to each other for that time. We get to the front, I hand the person five tickets.

We are put into a cart with a sliding door.

"Holy. What if the door slides open and we fall out? Tris. Tris. We are going to die. Oh my gosh, I am going to die. This is it."

"Oh you're such a wuss. Nothing bad is going to happen." We start to rise and Tobias' grip seems to tighten every few seconds. His eyes are squinted shut and lips pressed into a line.

"Tobias, open your eyes. It's not that bad." He refuses and I sigh.

"If you open them, I'll give you another kiss." In a flash, his eyes open wide and he stares at me with a smile.

"Okay, deal." We get to around to wheel three times and I feel Tobias relaxing besides me as I talk my mouth out. He needs to be distracted from fear.

"Look. You can see the whole carnival from here." I point out. We are at the very top and I show him all the different rides we should go on later and how everyone looks so small from up here.

"See it isn't too bad." I say softly.

"Yeah, it's actually nice." Feeling his fingers entwine with mine, I blush a little. I look up and see him staring out the cart. I grab his chin and bring his lips to mine. He feels so good. Both my hands fist his shirt while he instinctively wraps his arms around mine. The kiss is so slow and full of passion, it makes my stomach turn- in the good way. His hands slide up to cup my cheek.

Just as he pulls me closer towards him, I hear the cart being slide oped. I pull away quickly and smooth down my hair while trying to even my breaths.

"That's one." I whisper into his ear.

I skip away and when I turn around he's still sitting in the cart with a stupid smile on his face.

* * *

"You're such an idiot!" I throw a French fry at his face.

"No, I'm being strategic."

"Idiot." I mutter under my breath.

"Oh come on! I know you love me, you're just afraid to admit it."

"Says the narcissistic bastard." I smile. "You're too wrapped in your own world to actually see what's going on. But you see, I'm flawless." I pose dramatically causing him to laugh.

"I'm not narcissistic!" He defends.

"Remember in eighth grade when Chris and I caught you talking to yourself in the mirror? Exactly how long do you stare at yourself in the reflection everyday, Tobias?" I smile in triumph when he doesn't respond.

"That has nothing to do with it!"

"You didn't answer the question, _Toby_."

"Ew, don't call me that." I watch his face as it turns into as scowl.

"Okay hot shot. Let's get onto one more ride and then head back home." I throw away our trash.

When I walk back to him, he offers his hand and k reluctantly take it. I feel a jolt happiness when that little act of warmth feels like it swallows me whole and consumes me. Little does he know, he has such an effect on me.

"Where do you want to go, Toby?"

He scowls at me. "Screw the ride. How about I show you what a true man is white my awesome masculinity and strength."

"Again with the narcissism." I say under my breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." I say too quickly.

I don't know what it's called, but he drags me to the stand when one must use this large hammer like thing to hit and thing and the thing does up determining how hard you hit it. Wow, I really don't know what it's called.

I raise my eyes bites at him. "This is so cliché. Like I swear, we could be living in a movie." He hits the platform and it goes up almost all the way.

"Gosh dammit!"

"Oh you wuss, even I could have gotten it." I hand the person our last few tickets and take the hammer from Tobias.

"Exhibit A." I gesture to the platform. "This is how I felt when you dated Lauren. Exhibit B, this is what I felt when you dated Lauren." I slam the hammer into the platform and it rings the bell when it reaches the top. "Nailed it." *drops microphone and walks away* in my head is what I'm imagining.

"Oh you hotshot, isn't as hot as you thought. Holy crap, I just rhymed. Anyways," I ask the man for the giant stuffed unicorn. He hands it to me.

"Thank you."

I hand Tobias the unicorn. "Here's a magical creature."

"You're so mean to me."

"But you love me anyways." I wink at him.

He says a snarky comment under his breath which just causes me to laugh.

"Thank you. I had a lot of fun today." I tell him when we walk back to my house. Throughout the day, we went through most of the rides and played a few games.

"Me too. I'll see you at school tomorrow." He says.

"I'll see you."

He starts to walk away.

"Wait!" He stops walking and turns to me. I run up to him and give him a quick peck on the lips.

"That's two." I give him a quick smile before running back inside to my house. I peek out the window and see him standing there with a goofy smile, the one I see on him after I kiss him.

"What are you smiling about?" The voice startles me and I put my hand over my heart and gasp.

"You scared the shit out of me." I tell my idiotic brother.

"You didn't answer my question." I see him holding a bag if Cheetos on one hand and a TV remote on the other.

"Nothing." I say. "Just nothing."

 **A/N: Okay, I need to ask you something. I'm about making a blog. I don't know, I think it's something I'd probably like to do. I think the main purpose is for like an online little "rant" page. I don't know, I feel like every fangirl, I should say, has their own story and I think it would be fun to share them. Wow, that sounds really corny, but I have problems of my own, and I feel like there are so many fangirls out there who give out really good advice and we don't really take advantage of that. My own friends had like depressing problems and we didn't really share them until it was too late, we never got to help each other that much. I feel like a blog would be able to help communicate with each other. Tell me if that's corny (it probably it), but I put a lot of thought into. I also really like to get to know some of you guys better. So yeah. Sorry if you think it's lame. Tell me what you think. Blogs sound stupid, but I sort of think meh, otherwise. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. I wasn't going to upload this chapter until Wednesday because that's official a year ago when I started writing fanfic. It's been a great year. Anyways, have a nice day and please leave a comment to let me know what you think.**


	21. Part Twenty-One

**A/N: I have an authors note at the end of this chapter, so please read it:)**

 **This chapter is not edited (due to my pure laziness), but nonetheless, I hope you enjoy.**

Chapter 21

Tris' POV

"License fee, fifty dollars. License fee, fifty dollars. Fifty dollars. Permit fee, thirty dollars. Thirty dollars, thirty dollars. Okay, got it." I repeat the information in my head several times when looking at the pamphlet. it isn't the smartest idea especially since I'm reading it right in the middle of the hallway while trying to go to my locker.

"What are you doing?" A voice from behind, startles me causing me to jump a little.

"Ah shit, you scared me." I put a hand over my heart.

"Are you serious?" Tobias takes the small book from my hand. "Are you seriously studying for a permits test? I literally read the damn thing twice the day I took the test."

"You know what? You can shove it up your ass because unlike some people, I like to be prepared especially when it comes to test." I shove him lightly on the arm.

"You're ridiculous." He smiles. "Hey so I was wondering, you doing anything after school today?" He asks.

"Yeah I do. I'm running swim tryouts today, so I'll be busy." I tell Tobias.

"Right." He rolls his eyes. "Miss Captain of the Swim Team."

"Oh shut up. You're just jealous that I'm more athletic than you."

He narrows his eyes at me. "You take that back. You take that back right now." He gushes. "I will not tolerate this."

"Ha, as if. My lips remained sealed." He raises and eyebrow at me before attacking me in the sides. I yelp and start laughing like a maniac.

"Stop! Stop! I'm very ticklish. Stop! Tobias, I hate you so much! Ugh." He continues tickling my sides causing my tummy to hurt due to me laughing so hard. "My tummy hurts."

"Your tummy? How cute, you still say tummy."

"Stop!"

"Admit I'm more athletic than you." He taunts.

"Never." I make out.

"Fine then. I will continue-"

"Fine! You're more athletic than I am." I say though I don't mean a word of it.

"Good." His arms drop to his sides and I relax. Thank god.

"Hey, I'll see you later, okay?" I tell him after the fell signals us to get to class.

"Okay, bye."

I head to my first period class, which is AP Euro. After seating myself in my assigned seat, I feel a tap on my shoulder.

"Hmm?" I turn around.

"Hey."

"Oh...hey Tyler. How are you?" I ask and the press my lips into a thin line. My bet's is that he's going to bring up the whole "friend" thing.

"I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever." He tells me then smiles. "I miss you, you know." He says quietly as I try my best to avoid all eye contact.

"Yeah, so I've literally have been busy with managing school, homework and my practices." I say.

"Yeah, you're great at time management." Is that supposed enhance me? This is so much more awkward than before. Tyler is the sweetest guy and what we had was great, really great actually. Shut up! I scold myself. He's still really handsome though. Ugh...

"Yeah, but how have you been?" When is the damn bell going to ring.

"Okay. I'm coping." He tells me softly. "Actually, my cousin is coming in tomorrow. She's moving from New Hampshire because my uncle's company is moving in Chicago."

"That's cool! What's her name?"

"Samantha." Tyler answers.

"That's a nice—" The finale bell finally rings after what feels like forever and my teacher starts with his lecture on god knows what. I hate this class so much.

* * *

"Okay girls...and guy. James, where are all the guys?" I ask the junior, named James.

"I think they're still changing." He answers before jumping into the pull.

I sigh and zip up my swim parka up all the way to my neck. "I'll guess I'll wait."

It takes a while for the boys to finally arrive the pool area, where our tents our setup. They toss their fins and swimming boards to the side and jump into the pool while I impatiently tap my right foot at a rapid pace.

"Where the hell have you scrubs been?" I ask them.

"The football jockeys had the changing rooms until three-thirty." One of them tells me.

I groan. "Great. I want you to do one IM, one hundred for each stroke with a five second interval per person. Start at the top." I motion to the large timer counting upwards every hour. "Ready, go!"

I count the number of seconds it takes for the swim team to finish the warm-up I assigned. Two hundred forty-sev—okay.

"Okay, now that everyone has finished their warm-up, I want all of you to practice your diving. I want you do dive and the swim to the other side, you get to choose what stroke to do. Everybody up!" One by one, they push themselves out of the pool. "On the whistle."

I blow the whistle and watch as the first few people dive beautifully into the pool in a swift motion. I continue the routine until everybody is on the other side. I take my time to walk to the other side because I can and I'm too lazy to rush to the other side.

"Do it again, but a different stroke this time."

"Prior!" Oh great. Just what I needed— an idiot.

"Tobias." I say with feign enthusiasm. "How are you? Don't answer that, I honestly don't really care."

"The charmer you are." He taps my nose. "Swim team." He nods his head towards the thirty or so people currently studying our every little move.

"What are you waiting for?" I ask them. "Everyone should be on the other side by now." Within a few seconds, the first group of people are already diving to the other side.

"Well you look at that, they're scared of you." He teases.

Two can play it that game. "Hey you see that guy on the other side?" I motion to a tall blonde guy talking to his friends.

"Which one? The one wearing speedo underwear or speedo shorts?" I feel Tobias' body press against mine as I gesture to the guy.

"His name is Austin Moore, super duper cute. Man, he fine." I stare at his defined abs, he does not disappoint. "And I think ask me to formal."

"What? He's not that good looking." He clears his throat. "I have better abs than him."

I bite my lip to surprise my laughter from escaping my lips. "But you don't mind, right? Because I'd totally tap that." I say as seriously as I can.

"No, yes, no. I don't care. You can date whomever you want— because I obviously don't care." His voice cracks, and I know I have won.

"Okay big boy." I pat his belly. I walk back to the other side of the pool where everyone has been waiting for me the past few minutes. "Austin, you want a hug?" Before he can answer, I wrap my arms around his body. I wave to Tobias as he stands on the other side staring at me.

Tobias isn't jealous. He's not jealous at all. Obviously.

I'm not exactly sure how to describe his facial expression. I pull away from Austin and finally burst out laughing. "Sorry." I apologize to him and then pat his tummy like I did with Tobias. "Holy shit. Those abs. Sorry." I pull my hand back and apologize again.

Austin shakes his head at me and smiles. "No problem."

I finally get Tobias to go away mainly because he is being a huge distraction and he also has to go to football practice, not that I care anyways. The rest of practice goes by slowly and I manage tire the team out. Though it technically was try-outs today, everyone makes the team— experience or no experience. It's mainly just to see where everyone is at and what level the members can swim at.

* * *

I strip my clothes off and put on my blue speedo one piece. I just finished completing my homework and decided I can go for a night swim. During season, I would always enjoy working myself out just to get into the groove of things. Diving into the tepid water, I swim around the pool outside in the backyard of my house. It's almost dark, and the lights hanging on the walls of my home illuminate the whole pool area. Lights shine underwater as well. My whole surrounding is such a calming affect. I flip myself so I am floating on my backside and stare off into the night's sky looking at every last star blossoming in space. Technically, they're not "blooming" because they're all dead and have exploded millions and millions of years ago. Nonetheless, I let my mind and body calm itself into a state of oblivion.

"What are you doing?" I see a face above me and I scream, not at all expecting a person to randomly pop out of nowhere.

"Holy fucking shit! You scared the fuck out of me! Don't do that ever again!" I splash the person. I swear, everywhere I go, Tobias is there.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"I was going to ask if you wanted to watch a movie." He holds up a DVD of Mulan. How cute. "But your parents told me you were outside, so I came to see you."

"That's really sweet. But you can go home Tobias, I have a feeling I'm going to be here for a while."

"Would you mind company?" He asks in a hopeful tone.

I think about it for a while. "No. But you probably shouldn't— nevermind." He strips into his boxers and dips his feet into the pool. He could have just borrowed one of Caleb's swimsuit, but you know what, I am not complaining.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. It's freezing." He chants.

"It's not that bad." I splash his face causing him to hiss.

"Fuck." He groans. "You're killing me, Tris."

"You'll get used to it." I tell him. He continues to suffer in the pool and I finally take pity on the poor guy.

"C'mere." I open my arms for him and waddles his way towards me. I feel his arm wrap around my small body, his thin fingers rubbing to small of my stomach.

"You're warm."

"Same goes with you." There is barely any space between the two of us which causes little nervous bubbles to spread throughout my body. Tobias Eaton freaking does something to me, and I don't know i whether I like it or not.

"You look cute today, I didn't get the chance to tell you that." I see the whiteness of his teeth flash in the dark.

"Thank you." I mutter against his chest. I pull away from his embrace. "Do you know how to do a flip from the diving board?" I ask, suddenly a flash of excitement running through me.

"I've never done before." He admits.

"It's really easy. It just hurts like a bitch when you dive into the pool. You usually land on you back and it feels like a belly flop, but on your back." I push myself out of the pool and make my self on the board.

"Wait, you're actually going to do it?"

"Mhm." I bounce myself on the board a couple of times until I have enough momentum to jump and flip myself over.

When I have jump high enough, I lean forward and flip myself. My back stings when I feel the water hit me. I swim back to the top of the water.

"Your turn." I wipe the water off my face and eyes.

"I bet I can do better." He gushes.

"As if." He copies everything I did before hand, bouncing a few time on the before flipping himself into the pool.

"Ah shit. That hurt." He tries to rub his back. I laugh.

"It's fine. It goes back to normal after a few seconds." I inform him.

We play around in the pool for what feels like hours. Stepping into the house, I make sure not to make such a wet mess around the floor, which ends up failing miserably. I grab a towel for Tobias and toss it towards him. I also find a pair of boxers that Caleb no longer wears and hands it to him as well.

"You can keep it." I tell him. I tell Tobias to change in the bathroom at the end of the hall. He comes out changed into his old clothes.

"Though that wasn't planned, I had a lot of fun tonight." I say to Tobias.

"Mhm. Me too. I'll see you tomorrow, kay?" Tobias looks me into the eye as he says this. Letting him blue eyes capturing me, I unconsciously nod my head.

"Bye Tobias." I walk him to the front door and closes it behind me when he walks out.

I don't understand the deal with him, but something about him makes me feel so safe and so cared for. He's my anchor, but the difference is, is that I don't want to let him go.

 **A/N: I created my blog. Sorry, I haven't updated in three weeks. Anyways, for my blog,** **, so that's the link, but I have not posted anything on it yet. Let me know what you want me to talk about. If you need any advice, personal issues, etc, I will definitely help and everyone else can help you as a whole. You can even ask questions, or just tell me a joke(s). I swear, I laugh at everything, and I mean** _ **everything ,**_ **so yeah, feel free to say/do anything as long as it is appropriate. I hoped you enjoyed and please check out my blog. I may post something real soon (maybe even a sneak peek of the next chapter). Have a great day, and see you soon (I don't know why I always say that)!**


	22. Part Twenty-Two

**A/N: I know, I know this is way overdue. But, I know for sure you will like this chapter. I'm pretty proud of it, it's a lot longer than I thought it would be. Enjoy, I hope to get another update for Finding Home this week, but I'm not so sure if that will happen (hopefully). See you soon:)**

Chapter 22

Tris' POV

"Six o two. Nice job, Prior." I place my hands on my knees and pant heavily. Layers of sweat cover my body as I try to even my breathing out. My PE teacher, Mr. Martin, records my mile time as I watch the other students pass by finishing their last lap when I have already finished mine.

The fast group of guys slowly file in a couple of seconds after me. However, there are still a quite a few boys who still beat me.

"We're running short on class, so once you finished, you may get changed. You may leave when

the bell rings." Mr. Martin dismisses us.

I walk to the girls' locker rooms, getting a drink from the water fountain on the way. After changing back into my regular clothes which consist of a t-shirt, blue jeans, and a navy blue sweatshirt with our school's name on it, I put my gym clothes in a little bag and place it into my

backpack. I make a mental note to wash it later, mainly because it's starting to reek of sweat.

As the bell dismisses us, I fling my backpack over my shoulders and head to my next class, choir. I always enjoyed that class. We get to perform for music fundraisers and school events. Tyler and I chose that class together, but now, it's sometimes awkward passing by each other during that period. Nevertheless, I do enjoy getting lost in music with my fellow peers and friends.

Unfortunately today, our teacher is out sick so we end up having a sub with no lesson plan whatsoever. The students in my choir class end up having a karaoke competition which ends up being super fun.

One of the boys, Dean, starts playing a song. When the music starts playing everyone starts cheering and laughing. He plays, 'Baby' by the one and only Justin Bieber as joke and sings it very, and I mean very off key. He's one of the lead sopranos, so it's even funnier when sings terribly. Not only so, he purposely sings it as the thirteen years old version of Bieber.

"And I was like baby, baby, baby, oh. Like baby, baby, baby, no.." Everyone joins in and sings like a maniac as the sub just gives us extremely odd looks. Our class roars in cheers as the song finishes. It's an extremely enjoyable hour as everyone enjoys themselves and sings— something we all enjoy to do.

* * *

"You're in a good mood." I practically skip to my lunch table as the lunch period starts.

"I am." I smile at my best friend as I plop down next to her. "Oh shit, I left my lunch in my locker. I'll be back in five." I dismiss myself and head towards the locker halls I go to every

morning to store my binders and books.

I hear someone about to sneak behind me (assuming it's Tobias), so I turn around.

"Hey." I shut my locker and see Tobias holding a white rose. Like always, I'm correct. I see him standing there with his gaze focused on a specific spot on the ground.

"Uhm, what is this?"

"I don't know, I just thought I'd bring you a flower today." He says cutely. That's so sweet.

"Oh okay, well thank you." I take the flower from him.

"No problem." He smiles warmly at me.

He continues to stare at me. "What?"

"I-" He scratches the back of his neck. "I want to take you on a date tonight."

I know I told myself I wouldn't be in another relationship for a while, but for the past few weeks my thoughts have always been on Tobias and his perfect face. Why does Tobias Eaton have to be so perfect? Ugh.

Not only do I surprise him, but I also surprise myself when I blurt out, "sure. What time are you going to pick me up at?"

It takes a while for him to process the information. "Wait, you said yes?"

"I mean if you don't want to, then that's totally fine—" I start, knowing he's about to protest.

"NO! I mean, nah mate." I almost laugh at his awkwardness, but I remain composed— well, as composed as I can possibly muster. "I mean I want this. And to answer your question, wear something warm and comfortable, I'll pick you up at six-thirty."

"I'll see you later, okay? Bye, Tris." He kisses me on the cheek and scurries off before I can say anything else.

As he leaves and I touch my right cheek where he had kissed me. A large grin fights its way onto my face. The tingles from the little intimate moment has me in an even better mood than before.

"I feel like every time I see you, you are in an even better mood than before." This time, I sit next to Christina with my lunch. Marlene and Uriah sits across from us and they bicker quietly to themselves.

I try to bite my lips to keep me from bursting with giggles. Tobias just asked me out.

"Okay, now I'm just worried. What happened to you?" She glances at me weirdly as she eats her lunch.

"Guess what?" I say, giggling. What is wrong with me.

"Oh my gosh! What, girl? You are literally killing me right now."

"Tobias asked me out on a date." The smile doesn't seem to leave off my face.

"Wait, are you fucking with me right now?" She asks.

"No, I'm not." The smiles makes its way back onto my face. "I really like him, Christina. And I'm just so damn excited."

"I know, after what he did to you last time, I was sure I was going to kick his ass the moment you two started talking to each other again. But now, seeing you two together, has my heart swelling overtime. I wish Will was as sweet to me as Tobias is to you. He's really a great guy."

"I know. He's also really hot and good-looking, same thing, but that's a plus. He's so sweet, and gah, just..perfect."

"Oh my dear Tris, you are so smitten over him. It's kind of funny. Now, what time is he going to pick you up?" Christina turns serious all of the sudden.

"He told me six-thirty, as well as to dress comfortably." I inform her.

"Wait, what are you two talking about?" Marlene asks, suddenly aware of our intense conversation.

"Tobias asked her out." Christina gleams.

"What?" Uriah asks, shell-shocked.

"Yeah…" I feel a tingle of warmth rise up onto my cheeks. "Well, technically he asked me on a date." I clarify.

"Same thing, Tris! It doesn't matter. What's important is that your relationship with him is actually going somewhere."

"Shut up, that's not true." I argue.

"Yeah whatever. But moving on, I'll be at your house at five to help you get ready and we can also finish the episode of Sherlock we never got to finish. I'm bringing the snacks, so there better be drinks when I arrive." She tells me.

I roll my eyes. "Yes, ma'am. You can come as well Marlene, and as for you, Uriah, sorry, but I'm guessing this is an all girls thing."

"Aww…I was really looking forward to painting my nails and helping you girls to mani-pedies. Thanks a lot Tris, you got me real excited for a second." He remarks sarcastically. "But seriously, I wouldn't have been able to make it anyways. I have to help my mother reposition our living room. She wants to change it up a little, whatever that means." He tells us. "I'll see you girls later, I have to help a teacher. See you Mar." I watch as he gives her a quick kiss on the top of her head.

"Isn't he the sweetest?" Marlene sighs.

"Uriah's a great person. You two are very lucky to have each other." I smile.

My mind goes back to Tobias and his perfection. Tobias is practically a bundle of warmth and a ray of sunshine in a human form. He's the perfect mixture of sweetness, intelligence (okay, that can be debatable), and he's exceptionally handsome. He's the epitome of every girl's dream— if only there were more of him in this world. Tobias is mine, though. As selfish as that may be, I'm grateful of him being in my life and I'm grateful for forgiving him for his stupid actions.

"Great, she's dreaming about Tobias again." Marlene's comment drives me back to reality.

"Oh shut up." I try to say seriously, but they end up laughing at me. Such friends.

* * *

"So Mar and I were heading back from the movies, right? I was driving when we felt this huge bump. So I pulled over the car and I realized I had ran over a raccoon." Uriah explains.

"Oh my gosh! That's terrible! How the hell did you not see it?" I say throwing a tater tot at his face.

"I didn't mean to! It was just there at the wrong time." He throws his hands up in the air. "You're not going to defend me, Marlene?"

She pops a tater top in her mouth. "Eh, I wasn't the one who was driving."

"Wow, rude." Uriah places his hand over his heart.

"Anyways, this is our stop." Uriah walks over to his car. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." I bid farewell to both Uriah and Marlene and then turn my attention towards Christina.

"You, my good friend, are my ride home."

"Yes indeed. Let's go."

* * *

"Nope." Christina throughs another article of clothing behind creating a huge stack of clothing pile.

"It took me forever to fold all of those, you know." I tell my friend. I turn on an episode of Sherlock and continue watching the episode while Christina continues to rummage through my closet for an outfit for me to wear. I don't really understand her sometimes. I am fully capable of looking for an outfit especially since I'm the one going on a date with Tobias. But hell, she enjoys doing this, so I'll let her.

"Here, try this one." I remove my t-shirt and replace it with a knitted sweater. I don't really care if she sees me in just my underwear, we're all girls here, and plus, I'm used to changing in front of a group of girls.

I pick out a pair of jean and place them to the side. I am currently content with wearing a pair of pajamas with Mickey Mouse ears.

"Nice." She tells me. She plops down onto my bed and places my laptop in front of the two of us. She surprises me by taking my hand and laying it on a portable mini tables that is usually used for laptops to place on top of people's laps. She places my hand on the flat surface and spread my fingers apart. She takes out a small nail polish bottle and begins painting them black.

"I'm here!" I think I hear Marlene's voice. Marlene comes in with a box of pizza.

"Pizza!" I nearly scream. "Thank you, thank you, Mar! I love you so much right now."

She smiles. "Now? You're supposed to love me all the time."

"Yeah sorry. I love you Mar."

"Love you too, babe."

"I'm surprised Tobias asked you out. I was seriously thinking he wouldn't have the guts to do it until at least next month, but I'm glad he finally did. The two of you really deserve each other." Marlene tells me as I watch Christina concentrating on my nails.

"You know, I heard from someone that Lauren is really trying hard to get her and Tobias back together." Christina joins the conversation.

 _What?_

"Yeah." Mar joins in. "She's always been a pain in the ass. What surprised me the most was that Tobias never broke up with her until you confronted him, Tris."

"Yeah, well, he can be a real knucklehead sometimes. A cute, sweet, charming knucklehead." I smile.

The two of them roll their eyes. "She's smiling again."

"Shut up." I throw an article of clothing at her.

"I can't take you seriously with you smiling like that Tris." They continue to tease me. "But point is, I literally stopped caring what Lauren does with her life. She is her own person and can do whatever the hell she want to do."

Christina laughs out loud. "You know what that reminds me of, Lauren has no filter and really enjoys talking, in detail, how she likes be taken by boys. It was _way_ too vivid, and don't get me started on how she got Tobias to be involved in that conversation."

I give her a look. "And where did you hear this from?"

"During cheer." I scrunch my nose together. Although I know that there are many students that are not virgins, _many student in fact_ , I don't have to be reminded. Seriously.

"Oh..." My mind wanders and I am suddenly reminded of something. "Do you guys know the band Panic at the Disco?"

"Nope. Never heard of them." Marlene shakes her head, while Christina looks completely lost. I shouldn't be surprised though, Christina is more of the mainstream girl, while Mar is more into classic.

"Nevermind. But, you should listen to them. Bibo is literally my favorite person in the whole world." Brendon Urie is a freaking god.

We continue to watch Netflix on my laptop until my date with Tobias. He arrives five minute early, which is a huge surprise for me because he's probably the worst person to ever count if you need them to arrive on time.

I see him arrive into the driveway, and take my time to go downstairs. I'm excited, but he doesn't need to know that I'm _way_ too excited.

I'm dressed up into the knitted sweater and jeans with warm boots. I hope this is fine because he told me to dress comfortable and nothing can get better than an oversized top and jeans. I allowed Marlene and Christina to eat whatever they want and watch whatever they want on my laptop (which I'm starting to debate is a good idea now that I think about it).

"Hi." I blush red when I realize that I'm actually going on a date with Tobias.

"Hey." I smile. "I brought you a box of chocolates because I know how much you really like chocolate. It's Godiva and I remember seeing you used to eat them all the time." Mm..chocolate.

"Thank you." I smile, widely. He's so considerate and such a gentleman.

I take the box from him and place it on a nearby table. I make a mental note to bring that to my room later.

I catch myself looking at him from head to toe. He's wearing khaki pants with our school sweatshirt. A red and white flannel is over his sweatshirt. Did I ever mention the fact that I find guys extremely attracted when they are wearing flannel. Or a bowtie. Bowties are cool.

I mentally scold myself for talking to myself...in my head. Even I surprise myself with how much I seem to ramble in my head sometimes. Gosh, I'm doing it again.

"Yeah, no problem."

"So," I start a conversation, "where are we heading?" He opens the passenger side door for me, allowing me to enter his car. He quickly goes to the driver's side and positions himself.

"You'll see."

He drives all the way to an modern-day looking building with at least fifty stories. He parks out in the front of the building. The building is made of glass, probably bulletproof glass so it wouldn't be easy destroyed if anything were to ever happen.

"What is this place?" I ask Tobias. He pulls out a key and unlocks the front door.

"This is my mom's office. She owns the damn thing." He smiles. "I asked if I could come here tonight for our date."

"Uhm, okay?" I don't really know what to say, so I just continue to follow him. He leads me to the elevator and brings me to the fiftieth floor.

"Tobias, where are we going?" I pull on his flannel shirt.

"Patience, Tris." He puts a finger over my lips and shuts his eyes close. I look at him strangely as his breathing starts to become labored and increased.

"Are you okay?"

"Mhm." His eyes remain shut and I continue to try to figure out what is wrong.

"Are you claustrophobic?"

"Mhm." I sigh. I try to figure out how to calm him down.

 _27._ The elevator says.

"Hey, look at me." He stares at the floor. "Tobias, look at me dammit." He has to force his eyes towards me and it softens suddenly. I give him a small smile and take his hand in mine. His hands are so warm and so soft. The elevator finally stops signaling that we are at the top floor. I am pulled out of my trace with Tobias and he pulls me out of the elevator.

I am hit with an illuminated room with christmas lights hanging up and little fake candles. There is a huge screen in the middle of the room with a large couch in front. To the side of the rooftop is a table with a shit load of snacks.

"What? This is so cool, Tobias." The fiftieth floor, to what I learned it not another office room, but a rooftop the basically overlooks the city. I can see other small buildings in the sunset that fill the city with bright lights bringing life to it. The cars look like little ants from where I am. The sight is absolutely breath-taking. What I don't understand is how Tobias managed to do all of this because this is so amazing.

"I hope you're hungry." I hear him say from behind me. "Because I bought pizza." I follow him to the table of food which consists of a few bags of chips, fruit, juice, pizza and little vegetable platter. I fill my plate with fruits, vegetables and dip as well as some chips, but not forgetting the pizza. I go the couch as Tobias takes out his laptop and connects it the the projector. He picks out a classic movie- Home Alone 1 and sits next to me. He lays a blanket over us.

"This is amazing, Tobias. Thank you." I lean into him and he wraps his arms around me and brings me closer to him. He smells like apples and whatever deodorant he is wearing.

"It's my pleasure." I love his smile. He's one of the few people whose smiles reaches up all the way to his eyes. His eyes twinkle in the (almost) darkness and I can perfectly see the whiteness in his teeth.

After finishing my food, I toss the plate away and snuggle back with Tobias. This is nice. I feel so relaxed and so content in the moment. I just wish we could stay like this forever.

* * *

"I had an amazing night." I tell him after he walks me up to my front door.

"Me too." I take both of his hands and stare up at his face and gaze into his eyes.

"So...are you going to give me a goodnight kiss? Or should I just...Mmm..okay." His fits on mine and his arms wrap around my waist. His lips feels so good. As much as I hate to admit it, but I wouldn't mind kissing him for the rest of my life.

"G'night, Tris." His lips are so soft and so warm.

"Bye, Tobias."

The next day when he comes to my locker he asks me, "Tris, would you be my girlfriend?"

I don't even have to hesitate, "yes."


	23. Part Twenty-Three

**I sincerely apologize for this extremely long wait. I'll try to update as much as I possibly can.**

Chapter 23

Tobias' POV

"Are you related to yoda? Because yodalicious."

"Oh my gosh, Tobias! You are unbelievable."

"Is your name nobody? Because someone once said, nobody is perfect." I'm about to say another pick-up line until she interrupts me.

"Okay, okay. You win." She says, laughing.

I ignore her. "And my favorite one, if we were both squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole."

"Tobias! You have such a dirty mind." She pushes me playfully.

"Dirty for you. And I wouldn't consider it having a dirty mind, I just have more of a...creative imagination." I tell her playfully.

I see Tris looking at me out of the corner of my eye, which just causes me to smile internally. She's amazing.

I abruptly stop and wrap my arms around her waist. She makes a weird squealing noise as I pin her against one of the lockers. I put my forehead against her and smile.

 _I love you._

I know I've openly told her this already, but that's different, because now we're actually dating. I told her this when she hated me and now that I have her, I cannot afford to lose her again. That would hurt too much.

I feel Tris' lips meet mine. I have to bend down a little in order for this to happen. As much as I hate it, I absolutely love Tris' shortness. She's so short and adorable, it just makes her even more cute. Don't get me started on her cute little butt. I know I'm a teenage boy and all, but she's just so cute...don't get me started on her boobs. These thoughts arouse me a little and I have to think of something else, that will turn me off. Is that a thing? Being turned off? Huh. I'll have to ask Zeke about that later.

"Oh my gosh, Tobias!" I feel Tris push me off her.

"What?" I look at her with a confused expression.

"You should probably do something about that." Knowing Tris, and her innocent little mind, she refuses to make eye contact with me. I know she is talking about my boner. Whoops? I can't help myself though. I am a teenage boy with hormones that is constantly deceiving me.

I look at Tris with a coy expression to see her glaring at the floor with a face as red as a tomato.

"I can't help myself, Tris. To me, you're like a light switch-constantly turning me on."

She bursts out laughing. "I don't understand how you can make a joke out of this. That's not funny!"

"Sure...I'll see you later, babe. Have fun in your nerd class." I pull her close to me.

"Shut-up!" Tris pushes me, like hard, and I walk away laughing loudly.

"What are you smiling about?" Zeke asks me as I walk into homeroom.

"Hm? Oh nothing. I was just thinking..."

"About Tris." I never thought in my life that two words can make my face turn red. Like really, really red.

"Who else?" It's no use to deny it, of course I'm thinking of her.

"Yeah I thought so." It's been a week since Tris and I have started dating and so far, we have been going strong. She makes me really happy and honestly, I have no idea what I'd do without her. The only thing I hate, is how sometimes I can be extremely awkward and weird around her. She makes me so nervous sometimes and...gah...I really like her.

Luckily, first period modern history goes by really quickly. Is it bad that Tris is like ten times smarter than me?

Sometimes when I'm around her, she starts using these big words around me. She has three AP classes, like, what the hell? Why would someone put so much pressure on oneself? Usually, sophomores can the choice of doing one AP class, which is AP Euro. But no, Tris has to do AP Euro, Spanish, and whatever the hell math or English class she's taking. She's amazing. Hm...I need to figure out a way to ask her to formal.

I spend almost all of class thinking of her, which is sort of bad because I didn't catch most of the lecture during class. All I remember hearing is something about the British and French. But who am I kidding, the two countries are always getting involved with one another.

During brunch, I sort of accidentally ditch Zeke and head towards my locker to receive something. Then, I quickly find Tris. It's interesting how quickly I can do so. She may be short, in a cute way of course, but it's like we have some sort of bond that allows me to instantly find her even in a crowded room. I instantly think of a corny pickup line that has to do with ionic bonds. Gosh, I'm such a loser sometimes.

"I have something for you." I sneak up behind Tris and place my lips really close to her ears. Bad idea, because she jumps a little which causes her shoulder to hit my jaw.

"Shit! You scared me."

"Sorry."

"Hm. But what did you want to give to me?" She asks. Gahhh...she's so cute.

"Hm?" I ask, still in some sort of trance.

"Tobias!" A feel a painful pinch the my left side. Well, that was totally unnecessary. Nonetheless, I realize that I was drooling a little and quickly wipe it away with with the side of my arm.

Well that was embarrassing.

I feel like the people above really hate me, because my face manages to flush red, _once again_ , may I say. I feel my body temperature raise like a hundred degrees.

"Are you... _drooling_?" She asks me, totally baffled.

"Oh shut up!" I press my palm against my face to cool it down...somewhat.

"Aww...Tobias. It's okay to be embarrassed. You're so adorable." She goes onto her tippy-toes...because she's short, and pinches my cheeks.

"You're so short."

"Stop making this about me." She places her hand on my chest. "And I hate how you openly make fun of my height.

"What are you, like five?" I pat her head.

"I'm five two! That's a whooping two inches. Two inches is a big difference." She defends.

"Sure. I'm a good foot taller than you, though. It really isn't a difference because I'm still taller." I love making teasing Tris. She's like a little feisty chihuahua.

"I hate you! Ugh."

I hug her from behind. "It's okay, Tris. You can let it all out. I won't judge."

"Shut up!" And then she hits me on the arm.

"Ow, okay!" I raise my hands up in the air.

"You still haven't answered my question. What do you want to give to me?"

"Oh right." I unzip my backpack and take out two article of clothing. "This is my football jersey. And this is my football sweatshirt." She looks at me with a blank face.

"Sorry Tobias. I can't wear this." She hands it back to me.

"Wait, why not?"

"Because since I'm too short and my body is too small, this will literally be like wearing an oversized dress." I can't tell if she's messing with me or not.

"I-never- I- ugh. Fine! If you take it, I won't make fun of your height ever again, please?" I plead.

"I was just going to say you owe me a kiss, but that works as well." She pats my belly. "Thank you very much." She takes the clothes from my hand. "I'll see you in bio. Bye, Tobias."

The fuck just happened?

I swear she smiles evilly as she happily skips away. That evil little girl.

I love her.

* * *

It's really hard to focus throughout the day. I hate how I am easily distracted. I really hate it.

Christina really must be rubbing off of me because, I don't know, I feel like a schoolgirl fanning over _my_ girl.

 _MY_ girl.

I like the sound of that.

I never doodle in class.

Tobias Eaton doesn't do that doodling crap. Well, until now. I constantly sketch Tris' name in several fonts.

Tris Prior.

Hm...Eaton.

Prior.

Eaton.

Prior-Eaton.

Tris.

Tris Prior-Ea-

"Whatcha doing?" A loud voice startles me and she peeks at my notebook that I throw across the room.

"Nothing, Tris." Please don't get my notebook. Please don't get my notebook. Please. Please. Please.

She walks across the room and receives the notebook that I had thrown.

 _Thanks, universe._

"Here." She narrows her eyes at me. "You okay. I didn't scare you, did I?"

"No." _Yes_.

"Oops, sorry then. How was your last period?" She plops herself on my lap, and without even realizing it, my arms automatically wrap around we waist. I nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck and sigh, loudly.

"You're amazing." _I love you._

"I know."

"After school, do you want to come over and watch a movie." Thank goodness it's Friday. I want to spend as much time with my beautiful girlfriend as possible.

"Okay. Right after school or should I come over at a certain time?"

"Nah, I can give you a ride to my house." I say against her neck. "

"Okay. I'll meet you in front of the A building then." She says as she laces our hands together. She smells _so_ good.

"Okay. I can't wait." Am I turning soft? No! This cannot be happening.

Tris quickly hops off my lap and waves goodbye to me.

"I'll see you later. Have fun with your last few classes." She has an amazing smile.

"I'll be thinking of you." I call after her. Mainly because I've been thinking of her all day.

Who actually gives a fuck about the process of Meiosis? I mean like, I get it, cells split and divide. And the fact that our teacher is making us do a spot motion video on it. Please, kill me now. I really wish I did biology freshman year. It's better late than never, though. I feel bad for scientists, are they always this bored? Nah, it's probably just me.

My last two classes couldn't have gone any slower. I am so anxious to be spending time with my beautiful girlfriend, it's so hard to focus throughout the day.

I see Tris sitting on a wooden bench in the front of the school. She swings her legs back in forth, which I find really cute, mainly because she's too short for her feet to fully touch the ground. She's so cute.

 _Gahhh_...since when did I use the word cute? What is she doing to me?

I feel my heartbeat gradually increase as she hops off the bench and walks over to me with a smile.

At the back of my head, I remember that Tyler and Tris dated for almost a year. Was this how he felt to be with a girl this amazing? Of course, the jealous side of me is totally annoyed with the fact that they dated. Trus is so amazing and perfect, I can bare to feel what it's like to no longer have her. Not again.

I've done too many stupid things in my life and I will not risk anything to harm my relationship with she hopped off the bench and walked towards me.

"You look a little flushed." She places a hand on my cheek. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm perfect. Come on, let's go." I grab her hand and we walk towards my car together, hand in hand.

I open the passenger seat of my car for her and she thanks me as she hops in. After, I walk around the car to go to the driver's seat.

"Have you taken your driver's license test yet?" I ask.

"What? I'm not even fifteen and a half yet." She tells me.

 _Wait, what?_

"So, you're not sixteen years old? Isn't your birthday in December?" I quickly glance at her and then back to the road.

She shoots me a look and I visibly gulp. "My birthday is in August, Tobias." She facepalms herself. "I swear, you and Uriah have a memories like fish."

" _August_?"

She stares at me. "I can't believe you don't know my birthday, and we've been friends for like twelve years!" She exclaims.

 _Whoops_.

"Wait, I know now. August the seventh." I say flatly.

"August 29th!" She yells.

"Oh sorry."

Tris hits the back of my head. I glance at her with a sly smile on my face, and my eyes accidently drop down to her boobs.

Damn hormones, seriously?

 _Gahhh_...why do boners have to hurt so much? I mean seriously, one moment it's up, and then down and then up again. Fuck.

"Oi! Eyes up front, soldier." She smacks me again, but a lot harder this time. Ouch...

"Sorry." The rest of the ride to my house is quite difficult. I spend the time trying to hide my boner, especially since we are nearing my house and I really don't want Tris to see me "a little too excited". I don't want to make her more uncomfortable then she has to be.

Thankfully it manages to go away as I pull up to my driveway. I open the garage and park my car inside besides my mom's Toyota. Tris steps out of the car, and we go into my house. She tosses her backpack to the side as I do the samething.

Grabbing her hand, I lead her to the living room.

"Should we do homework first?" I ask. Though, luckily, today is a block day so I only had three classes today. I finished all my homework with the extra time we had left in class.

"I don't have homework. I'm a T.A., so I did it during that period." She informs me.

"Okay, same here. Well, not the T.A. part, but I'm done as well. What movie would you like to watch, or show, I don't really care." I grab the remote and turn the T.V. on.

Tris sits next to me and takes the remote from my hand. "Uhm...for some reason, I'm really in the mood to watch Home Alone. So, we're going to watch that." She tells me without any consulting...okay then. The thing is, I would have watched anything she pleased. As much as I hate to admit it, but Tris has me under a leash. I wouldn't consider myself whipped, oh hell no. I just like to do what my girls says.

As the movie begins, I pull Tris close to me and her but happens to put pressure on my precious area. Oh fuck, not a again. Like I said, one moment it's up, and then down. Sometimes I really hate being a teenage boy, I get very hormonal very quickly and easily. I shift myself, so she won't accidentally feel it, and I hear her sigh against me. I smile, and look down at her.

Tris is naturally beautiful. She natural beauty shines so bright and is able to make any guy swoon, including me of course. She catches me staring and smiles, her cute smile before turning back to the T.V, and snuggling even closer. Tris places her head against my chest, and I wrap an arm around her.

The only thing I have to do now, is ask her to formal.

...and tell her I love her, of course. So two things, I guess.

 **A/N: What the hell did I just write? I think this is the dirtiest thing I've ever written, which is saying a lot. I have such a dirty mind. I was watching Disney Movies with a friend and all we did was make jokes, and whenever characters would say something, and dirty joke would immediately pop into my mind. In Mockingjay Part 2, Peeta was like "Katniss, I need you to cuff me." And I snorted, and my friend looked at me with a look on her face. She was like, I didn't think of it like that, until you laughed, Katrina, and I was like, I didn't even realize I laughed. Did anyone else, laugh when he said that? Or is it just me? Point is, I try to keep my stories as PG as possible, but one day, that might not happen. Hoped you enjoy, I'd be really happy if one of you guys caught my Supernatural reference.**


	24. Part Twenty-Four

**Apologies in advanced for any errors.**

Chapter 24

Tris' POV

I drag Christina with me to the art supply storage room in our main building. She complains throughout the whole way, whining about how she wants to spend time with Will and how her feet hurt from walking so much.

"Oh quit complaining. We barely even walked much." I tell her.

"Says, you. You're hella athletic Tris. You have like a high tolerance for exercise." I raise an eyebrow. What?

I scoff. "Okay...But I'm really not that good when it comes to athletics."

"Oh don't give me that bull crap, Miss I'm taking three AP classes, when only some of the sophomores are only taking one. And don't forget about how the lowest grade you ever got was like an A, 94%." She crosses her arms and glares at me.

What? How did she get from talking about athletics to my grades?

"Actually, the lowest grade I've ever received was a 97%, there's major difference." I correct her, as her scowl deepens.

"Tris, I literally hate people like you. Hella smart, hella athletic, and fucking hot. Like seriously, that is not socially acceptable. You are not allowed to be good at everything. Ugh, I am so fucking jealous of you. And fuck, you're fucking boyfriend is so fucking hot as well, with the exception of Will of course." She rants. "You're lucky that we're friends otherwise I'd try everything to make your life fucking hell. It's not okay for you to be fucking perfect."

"That's not true. I am not-"

"Don't even go there." She puts a finger to my mouth. "Anyways, what are we doing in the art supply room anyways?"

"I asked Mrs. Monica if it was alright to get a poster. I want to ask Tobias to formal." I say rummaging through all the cabinets.

"Isn't it the guy supposed to ask the girl."

"Christina, don't be sexiest. Girls are capable of doing what guys can do as well. And plus, sometimes I feel as if Tobias is the girl in our relationship. Just the other day, he was doodling my name all over his notebook, don't tell him I saw that. His face was so red when I returned it to him." I sigh.

"But Tobias is the toughest guy I know, excluding Will."

I laugh. "Tobias thinks more with his dick more than he thinks with his brain. All day yesterday, he kept staring at my boobs."

"You have nice boobs. There small, but so cute." She tells me.

"It's nice to know you like to check my boobs out. But seriously, teenage boys need to control their dicks." I state.

"I'm not sure they can. Don't guys get boners at like random times of the day? I bet you the thought of boobs and butts give them instant boners. They're all hormonal piece of shits. This is why, one day when a dictator tries to take over the world, it would be a woman. I mean, like all the guys who've tried, they've all failed. Like Genghis Khan and Hitler. Girls are actually smart and strategic." Christina points out. "And we have boobs to distract all them boys."

I laugh. "Okay, that's good to know."

"So, how are you going to ask him?"

"I have absolutely no idea." I say now realizing how undeveloped my plan is. "I want to ask him in a really cute and original way. Like flowers and a teddy bear is cute, but everyone does it and it's kind of lame now." I wait for a few seconds before a brilliant idea comes to mind. "I got it! I'll get the marching band to help."

"Damn Tris. How the hell are you going to arrange that?" She asks.

"Well the band director loves me. He knows me from choir because my choir director is always calling me to have a conversation with them. I can ask him if it's alright."

"Aw Tris, that'll be so cute. And it really emphasizes how much of a geek you are." I playfully push her.

"I'm _not_ a geek."

"You so are. What are you going to write?"

"I don't know." I say while running a hand through my hair. "It'll come to me. Anyways, I have to go to my student council meeting. I'll make my poster during the meeting."

"And they won't care?" She raises an eyebrow at me.

"Nah, we talk for like fifteen minutes and then we don't really do anything after that."

"Okay, well have fun." I wave to her before going into the designated room for where the main student council meet."

"It's about time you showed up." Zeke rolls his eyes as I try to walk into the room as quietly as possible.

"I'm sorry, I had some business to do." Zeke looks at me skeptically. "What business?" I know he and Tobias are best friends and I really don't want to tell him I'm planning on asking him to formal. So, I try to be as blunt as possible.

"Uhm," I start, "I had to receive something from the art supply closet- room thingy." Wow, way to be settled, Tris.

"Why?"

I glare at my fellow student council members as they seem to take our little exchange humorous. There is nothing funny about me getting interrogated by Zeke.

"Fine! You want to know? I was getting a poster."

"For..." _Oh my freaking god_.

"I'm going to ask Tobias to formal, happy? Now I swear to my mother's grave, if you tell him anything about this, I will hunt you down and skin you alive." To my pleasure, Zeke visibly gulps and slowly nod his head.

"Good. I'm glad we're on the same terms. Now, have you called this meeting to order yet, Ezekiel?" I clap my hands and sit in my assigned seat.

"Yeah, like five minutes ago, we finished when you arrived."

"Oh shit, sorry about that."

Whoops.

After the useless meeting that I figured I didn't have to attend, I manage to decorate and make my poster in a fifteen minute period. I'm pretty proud of it. Two of my friends, Sofia and Laila, helped me as well.

At one point, my mind drifted and Tyler was in my mind. I know he still wants to be friends, but he really isn't trying that hard. I know he still cares, he makes sure to show that. However, sometimes I feel so guilty about how we ended. Of course what we had was real, but in the end it didn't work out. He truly deserves someone that will dedicate all their love and feelings for him. He deserves it.

On a brighter note, going back to my formal-posal...Huh, if they call it a promposal, would the asking of another person to formal be called formal-posal? That just sounds really lame. Anyways, I got a really witty pun...

Tobias...Conduct the beat of my heart. Will you go to formal with me?

I know, I know, it's so lame...but it works...?

I managed to get the marching band to help me by pulling a few strings. Even some of the guys thought it would be cute and agreed. Bless their hearts.

I'm planning on asking him during lunch tomorrow in front of the whole school. I mean, like of course the whole school would be watching. It's quite noticeable if a whole band is playing music, the band really attracts attention.

I must be in deep thought because when I go to my locker to retrieve my notebooks, I don't feel arms wrap around myself.

"Hi," he sighs into my ear.

I turn my head and is greeted by a bright smile. "Hey. How has your day been going so far?"

"Greet. I'm so happy to see you." Recently, after semester two, he got his whole schedule changed, so now we aren't in any classes together. He didn't like taking Spanish, so he transferred into the Italian 1-2 class, which ended causing his whole schedule changing.

I smile. "Same here." I pull away from his embrace and watch as I entwine my hand with his. I stare at them and my smile just gets bigger.

"Thank you." I whisper.

"For what?" His forehead press against mine and we practically breathe in the same air.

"For sticking with me. I know I'm not the most easiest person to be with. I'm extremely bossy, and have low tolerance for anything, really. I'm sometimes really stubborn and-"

"Sometimes?" He laughs.

"Okay, I'm pretty stubborn and I'm not the most prettiest girl. I know that-"

He puts a finger to my lip. What's up with him and Christina always doing that? "I'm going to stop you right there." He tells me as I just glare at the floor. "You must be mistaken for another girl because I know for a fact that you can be bossy and have a low tolerance for mostly anyone but our main group of friends. But you aren't like every other girl. How cliche is that line?" He smiles. "But I'm serious, that's what I like about you Tris Prior. You're different and you make sure everybody knows. I like how you are able to light up a room with that gorgeous smile of yours. I like how you bite your lips when you're thinking and when you are confused. I love how you nose scrunches just the tiniest when you're thinking. I love the little freckles just below your bright blue eyes. Every little detail is perfect about you. I love how you are extremely perceptive and how intelligent you are. I, in fact, love how stubborn and how you'd always stand your ground even when you know you are wrong. I mean, sometimes it can be really annoying...but, I like that about you. I know I could go on, and on, but I hope you get the point."

I feel like my heart just swelled two size bigger, and I swear it's about to be burst right out of my chest. Tobias is my gift, from life. He's so special.

"For someone who has a mind of a five year old at times, you really are a man of your words." I bury my face in his toned chest. "You're so special and you mean so much to me." I say to him, and mean every word of it.

"Can I tell you a secret?" He says quietly.

"What?"

"I'm in love with you." He says it with so much emotion and I'm almost a hundred percent sure I heard him incorrectly.

My heart races, and I can hear my own heartbeat in my head. He's given me so much. And in that moment, I can feel every gently touch, remember every last kiss, every time he would whisper inappropriate joke in my ear, which is almost all of the time. I remember all the times he's caressed my cheek and tuck strands of hair behind my ear. I remember all the of the times we would just stare at each other without saying a word.

 _He loves me_...Oh my god, he just said he _loves_ me.

"I-" My voice cracks, and I regain composure. I shift my head and look at him dead in the eye. "I love you too, so much."

I don't know what's more embarrassing the time I fell into a pool of mud in fifth grade in front of my whole school during a talent performance or this awkward situation I am facing right now. Well, awkward to me, in the le

Initially, I was going to ask Tobias to formal, but now, with how everything played out, I'm not so sure anymore.

...

As I meet in front of the band room to help organize the marching band, I make sure Christina received my text message for Tobias to be in the courtyard. She texts back saying he is currently waiting for me to show up and is talking to Zeke about something, I don't know what.

I allowed the band to pick out whatever song, which is ironic because they chose to play Little Talks.

 _Don't listen to a word I say...hey!_

Not really in my favor, but it's a good song nonetheless and I should be extremely grateful that they're even doing this for me. And I really am.

I walk behind them and they march to the court yard, with me look like a complete fool. The drum major yells a whole bunch of commands, and all the band members do a whole bunch of movements and professional turns. So much for embarrassment. I hold up my rolled up posten in my left hand and just try to follow them to the best of my ability.

I spot Tobias, and he doesn't see me due to my shortness and being in the back of like a group of the thirty people.

As we near him, he stands up with Zeke.

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No!

This cannot be happening!

He stands up with Zeke, a poster in _his_ hand, walking to the stage we happen to have in the middle of the courtyard.

I hate Ezekiel right now.

But as the stubborn person I naturally am, I must ask him first before he is able to ask. This cannot seriously be happening right now.

"Tris Prior." His voice says into the mic. Oh hell no. "Wherever the hell you are, will you go to formal with me?"

There's a few aww's and cheers from the crowd.

I sigh. My annoyance sudden changes to anger towards Zeke. When I get my hands on him.

"Oh hell no!" I shout and march right up to him. "You are not allowed to ask me. I am the one who is going to ask you, and you will say yes. I fucking organize this all for _you_ and I will not tolerate you stealing my freaking thunder. Ugh, I am so mad right now." Out of nowhere, I have these mood swings. I swear, I am not on my period though.

He looks at me and smiles. When I realize like more than half of the student population is staring at us, I turn ten shades of red. God, I am so embarrassed right now.

"I'm going to ask you whether you like it or not." I say to Tobias.

He smiles once again and I unveil my poster. "Tobias Eaton," the band starts to play. "Conduct the beat of my heart and go to formal with me?"

"Yeah, I'd love to, on one condition."

"What?" I ask.

"I get to give you my formal-proposal, whatever you call it." Huh, great minds think alike.

"Okay."

He shows me his poster, and I read it aloud.

 _Tris, would you go to FOURmal with me?_

He watches as my face contorts, when my face turns to horror, he bursts out laughing.

"It's great right? I thought of it all by myself."

Okay, when we were small. Tobias came up with the most stupidest nickname ever. He used to make him time himself eating as many donuts as possible within thirty seconds and the most he has ever gotten was four. For while, he forced me to call him by that ridiculous nickname. I mean, I would you name yourself after donuts?

Ugh, boys.

So the fact that he asked me using that vacuous nickname as a pun makes me burst out laughing.

He smiles. "I knew that would eventually make you laugh."

I turn around and tell the marching band that they can go, and thank them profusely. They smile and nod before leaving in a herd back to the bandroom.

"I'm going to kill Zeke." I realize we're still on stage, so I grab his hand and lead him down the steps.

"Give him a break. But why, what did he tell you or do?"

"Wait, let me ask you a question. Did Zeke tell you to ask me to formal?"

"Yeah, but I sort of assumed that you would go with me. So that's why I wasn't planning on making a whole big deal about it. But he somehow convinced me to, and I wasn't going to until I thought of that amazing pun." Tobias explains.

"Yeah? Well he's an asshole. I told him to not tell you I was going to ask you. He must've done this on purpose."

"Well, it doesn't matter now." He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. "I love you."

I never get tired of hearing that.

Tobias, my first kiss, my first love, first friend, I don't know what I'd do without him.

I grin. "I love you too. Now, come on, I'm hungry. Let's go eat lunch."

 **A/N: Leave a comment, review, suggestion, or any questions you have. I would love to reply. Many things happened in this chapter. Did you like my FOURmal pun I thought of? Yeah, I am so proud of it. If you haven't yet, please check out my other Divergent AU, it's called Finding Home. I'm thinking about recreating my one-shots series I had. What do you think?**


	25. Part Twenty-Five

Chapter 25

Tris' POV

It would be a complete lie if I said I wasn't the jealous type.

I mean, I can't even blame Tobias for being such an attractive human being. Of course there would be a whole swarm of girls after him of we were to ever break up. I mean come on, not only is he super handsome, he is also smart (on occasions), caring, funny, talented, athletic, the list could go on. The thing is though, I never really realized how many girls actually liked him.

A lot.

I am so grateful to have him in my life. I'm so grateful that out of all the girls he could of had, he chose me. Me of all people.

I'm not afraid to say it, I love him.

And he loves me back.

I watch from afar as he talks to a girl from his history class. I'm assuming they're talking about some group project they have to do. I don't mind him talking to other girls, honestly, but it's not her that's bothering me. It's her friend that stands next to her.

Waverley, her name is. She's in my PE class. She's pretty, smart, nice, but I don't like the way she is looking at my boyfriend. She gives him a genuine smile, but it's her eyes that give everything away. Her eyes have this specific twinkle in them. She chews on her lips as she her eyes constantly flick over to Tobias' lips. They dart back and forth all over his defined body. She stares at his muscles, face, all over basically.

Tobias' group partner smiles and nods before presumably thanking him and walking away, dragging her friend with her.

Thank god.

Honestly, I have no idea what I would have done if that friend kept undressing Tobias with her eyes.

Stay calm, Tris.

Tobias turns his head and spots me. He smiles his adorable smile and waves. I think me and other girls who happened to spot him just swooned. I smile and wave back at him.

"Hi." He hugs me. I return the gesture and give him a quick peck on the lips in return.

"Hey." I say totally becoming oblivious to the fact that some girl was just flirting with _my_ boyfriend. When I'm with him, I'm able to forget all worries and just be able to think about him.

"So I was thinking I'd take you out on a date tomorrow." He says while entwining my hands with his.

"Hm...let me think. I'll have to get back on that with you, you know busy schedule and all." I tease.

"Oh okay, no worries. I have all the time in the world when it comes to you." He smiles.

I laugh. "No, but I'd love to go on a date with you."

"Good. Wear something comfortable. I'll pick you up at seven." Tobias says.

"Okay. I'm looking forward to it then." I swing our entwined hands back and forth. "Tomorrow right?"

"Yup."

"Okay, great." I say. "Just curious, who was that girl standing next to the girl you were talking to?" Wow, I'm specific. Though I already know her name. I'm just curious if he knows and/or if he paid any attention to her.

"Julia or her friend?"

"I dunno! The girl is friends with the girl you're doing a project with." I state.

"Oh, I'm not exactly sure what her name is."

"Oh." Satisfaction runs through me and I have to prevent myself from laughing out loud. Tobias is mine.

 _Mine_.

"Why do you ask?"

"No reason." I say, smiling. "No come on, I'm hungry." I drag him by the arm and we walk to the cafeteria together.

The two of us sit in our regular spot and I take out my lunch from my backpack.

"So," Tobias starts, "formal is next Friday. I'm thinking I'll pick you up at five and I'll take you out to dinner. Then, we can go to the dance together."

"Mhm. Sounds great." I exclaim. "Formal is going to be hosted at some museum this year."

"What kind of museum?" He asks.

"Some art museum. I don't know. The only thing I know of is that there is going to be a DJ and yeah, that about it. But I'm leaving school early to help set up. Student council and all." I tell him.

"Well that sure sounds fun." He says sarcastically.

"Yup. Because you gotta love making up work. Hey, did you know every time you miss a class of P.E. they make you do a make up mile? Which is stupid because last year, I was sick and my PE teacher happened to be gone as well. My class did nothing and I had to run a mile in order to make up for that class period. I complained and my teacher and he hated me after that."

"No way. I don't believe that, Tris. Your a teacher's pet though."

"Yeah well, it doesn't matter anymore. He got fired anyways. He was the worst."

"Mr. Friedman?"

"Yeah..." I take a bite of my sandwich.

"Hey guys!" Uriah cheers as he sits down next to me. He slings his arm around me and smiles. "How is my favorite couple doing?"

"First, get your hands off my girlfriend. Second, were doing great thanks for asking." Uriah's arm drops to the side.

"Ah good, good." He then stands up. "I'll be right back, I have to get my lunch." He quickly scurries off, well, I don't blame him. The cafeteria line can be crazy sometimes.

"How's my favorite couple doing?" Like brother, like brother. Is that even a thing?

Zeke sits down and swings his arm around me. Seriously, what's up with that?

Tobias seems to give up because he doesn't comment on the fact that Zeke still has his arm around me.

"You ready for the big game this Friday?" Zeke asks.

"Football?" I ask.

"Yup." Tobias says to me. "But on the serious note, I'm super pumped for this game."

"Who are you guys playing against?" I ask.

"Carlmont." He says. "Our rival school."

Honestly, I couldn't care less about football. The sport is way too confusing and useless. "Oh fun." I exclaim sarcastically.

"Are you going?" Tobias pouts.

"I don't want to, but I will to be your moral support." I'm probably going to end up bringing a book to read during the game.

"Awesome! Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"Oh my gosh. Shut up before I change my mind." I exaggerate.

"Your girlfriend is quite the charmer." Zeke teases.

"Where is _your_ girlfriend?" I ask him.

"At the moment, she is currently pissed off at me." He sighs. "Probably some girl hormonal thing."

I ark my brow. " _Excuse me_?" I ask. "Ezekiel, what the fuck did you do?"

"I didn't do anything." I glare at him. "Okay, I might of accidentally forgot that we were supposed to go out last night. It's all Tobias' fault!" He then points an accusing finger towards Tobias.

"What? _Me_?" Tobias asks and points towards him. "I didn't do anything!"

"I can't believe I'm dating an idiot and I'm friends with that idiot's idiot."

"I am not an idiot." They both say at the same time.

"And plus, all I did was ask him if he wanted to play COD. We might of stayed up until midnight..." I bang my head against the table.

Such dumbasses.

"Well I hope you enjoy apologizing to Shauna. Good luck with that. I'm just going to go and shoot myself in the head. Bye." I get up and throw my lunch away.

"I'll see you later, Tobs." I awkwardly pat his head and kiss his cheek.

As I walk away I hear Zeke asks, "Tobs?"

Tobias groans. "Don't ask."

* * *

"Great work, Prior."

"Thanks Coach. I'll see you next week. Bye." I sling my athletic bag over my shoulder and neatly clean and put my skates away. I put on my sneakers back on and tie the laces.

Soon enough, I receive a phone call from Tobias.

"Hello?" I speak into the phone.

"Tris. Hey."

"Uhm, what's up?" I ask as I sit outside onto the nearest bench.

"Did you just finish practice?"

"Yup. I'm waiting for Caleb to pick me up. My parents are busy at work at the moment."

Caleb's car pulls up to the sidewalk and I walk towards his car.

"Do you want to come over? My mom is making dinner and she would really like it if you came." I always loved the sound of Tobias' voice.

"Yeah. One second, let me ask Caleb." I remove the phone from my ear. "Hey Caleb?"

"Hm?" He removes his eyes from the road for a split second. "Can you drop me off at Tobias' house?"

"Are you two going to be alone? In the house I mean?" His voice suddenly raises.

"Relax. No, Evelyn is cooking dinner. She'll be in the house as well." I quickly answer.

"Okay, well in that case, sure. Just tell me where to go."

I put the phone back towards my ear. "So Caleb is going to drop me off. I'll see you in ten. Bye."

"Okay, I love you."

"Love you too." I hang up the phone.

Caleb gives me a weird look. "What?"

"You guys are in the "I love you" stage?" He asks.

"Hey! It's not like you and Susan are any different." I exclaim.

"Susan and I broke up." Okay, now I feel bad for saying that.

"What happened?" I ask.

"She's moving away and in the logical sense, long distance is probably not going to work out. So we decided to just end things before one of us gets hurt in the long run."

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that. But if fate really wants you two to be together, who knows, you'll meet again someday." I say even though I don't really believe in fate.

"Yeah..." Caleb continues to stare off into the road.

"Make a left down our street." I point.

"Okay."

"This one!" I point to the two story, white house." Caleb parks the car and I get out.

"If mom or dad ask, tell them I'm here. And I'll be home the latest around nine or ten, maybe earlier."

"Okay, cool. Bye, love you sis."

"Love you too." I shut the door closed and wave as he drives off.

I walk to the front door which immediately swings open before I get the chance to knock.

"Hey." Tobias hugs me close.

"Hey." I mumble against his chest. "Miss me already?" I tease.

"Mhm." He hums. He snuggles his head into the crook of my neck. "I love you."

"Love you too." I break away from his embrace and he pouts. "Come on, I'm starving."

We walk to the kitchen where his mother is currently making sauce.

Mm...lasagna.

"Hey Evelyn." The last time I was here, she made it very clear to me that she would like me to call her my her name.

"Hi Beatrice."

"Do you need help? I make a pretty mean lasagna." I state while smiling.

"That would actually be lovely. Thank you. Could you boil the noodles for me?"

"Yeah of course." I let go of Tobias' hand and open the bag of pasta. I turn around for a split second as see Tobias just staring at me. "What? Are you just going to stand there at let all the ladies to all the work?"

Evelyn laughs. "Oh honey, I wish Tobias was just like you. Never helps out, that one." She motions towards Tobias.

Tobias scowls. "Hey Evelyn, maybe you can show me some baby pictures of Tobias during dinner. I'd love to see him as a little baby." I coo.

"Oh! That's a wonderful idea!" She exclaims knowingly. "Maybe I can even show you some of our home videos."

I give Tobias a evil smirk. "Home videos you say?"

Tobias groans loudly.

"You okay there, babe?" I asks directing my attention towards a conflicted looking Tobias.

"I literally cannot stand you right now." He tells me trying to maintain a completely straight face.

"If you can't stand me, might as well not be able to kiss me. Let's say..." I say tapping my chin. "For a week."

"No! I take that back. I love you. And I'm sorry."

"Oh you two are just the cutest. I'll be right back. Tobias, honey, watch the sauce for me.

Once the noodles are done boiling and are cooked, I strain out all the water from the pot. I then get Tobias to bring me a baking pan.

He helps me assemble he layers of the meal. I gently and efficiently layer the noodles and he layers the tomato sauce and cheese. I continue this process until the pan is filled to the top.

"Yay! We're done! Let me just pop this into the oven." He opens the oven door for me and place the pan in the 375 degree oven.

"Oh. You guys finished? Why thank you for all of the help." Evelyn says. "I found an old cassette tape with the home videos of Tobias."

"I thought you were only joking to mess with me." Tobias shakes his head and buries his face in his hands.

"No, of course not." I say a hundred percent serious. "I want to watch you...in a none creepy sounding way."

Evelyn hooks up the cassette player and puts the tape in.

"Ma ma ma ma ma ma." A two year old looking Tobias pops up into the screen. I think my heart just swelled and did several flips.

"Hey Toby. Tell you dad what we're about to do." Both Tobias and his mother cringe at the mention of Marcus.

"Ma ma ma ma. Da-da!" Tobias exclaims.

"Aw. You were such an adorable baby." I turn to Tobias and pinch his cheeks together. "What happened to you now?"

"Ha-ha. So funny." He exclaims sarcastically. "Next time I'm asking your mother for any home videos."

"Oh you do that." I say. "I was a _fabulous_ baby." And I dramatically pose.

"Well we about to run you a bath, Tobias." Past Evelyn says to her son.

"Bat?" Baby Tobias asks.

"Yes, bath. Come on. Up you go." We watch as a now naked Tobias splashes in their old bathtub.

"Oh my gosh." I hear Tobias mutter besides me. "Kill me now."

A doorbell sounds from the video and Evelyn leaves momentarily to answer the door.

"Look who it is, Tobias. Your friend, Beatrice." Evenly not exclaims.

"Bee-tis! Bee-tis!" Tobias bounces excitedly in the tub.

A little mini version of myself runs into the view of the camera.

"Tobs! Tobs! Tobs! What you doin'?" I ask jumping excitedly in the bathroom.

"I'm doin' bat. Wanna join?" Tobias burst out laughing from besides me.

"I was such a player. Even back then." I elbow him in the gut. "Ow." He whines.

The video soon ends with him getting changed. That was too cute.

"You were adorable." Tobias says. "I hate to say it, but you were even more adorable than I was back then."

"I told you I was a fabulous baby." He rolls his eyes. "Oh don't be jealous now." I tease.

After the video we go back to the kitchen to eat our dinner. Evelyn slices a pieces of lasagna for me and I thank her. She also takes out a salad from the fridge and serves that as well.

"And then Tobias ran straight into the wall." Evelyn says and I burst out laughing.

I can just imagine a little three year old boy running around the house naked and then running straight into the wall. Don't forget the fact that Evelyn mention that Tobias had underwater over his head.

I turn to Tobias and his face is shamelessly red.

"Okay." Tobias draws and abruptly stands ups. "Tris should probably go home now." I look at him and smile.

"Oh don't be embarrassed."

"Oh shut up." He says playfully.

"Anyways," I stand up as well and give Evelyn a hug. "Thank you for the meal. It was delicious and I'll see you later."

"And thank you for helping." She recuperates.

"I'll drive you home."

"It's fine I'll walk. My house it literally down the street.

"Fine then I'll walk you home." I wave to Evelyn one last time.

Tobias offers me his hand and together we walk in the direction of my house.

"Thanks for tonight." I say and turn towards him.

"Thanks for coming over despite everything you did to embarrass me." He says with a sly grin on his face.

"Well," I place my hands on his chest, "I can't help it. I love seeing you blush. It's cute."

He laughs. "Mm.. Really now?"

"Yup." His arms snake around me and of course, his hands lower and cup the bottom of my ass. But I don't say anything.

He kisses me lightly.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I say.

"Okay." He kisses me one last time before I finally tell him to home.

I watch as he walks down the empty, lit street.

"I love you Beatrice Prior!" He yells out.

I smile and say quietly, "I love you too, Tobias Eaton."

 **A/N: I'm realized I made a blog and haven't been on it like since I made it. But I will try to be more active so you guys can have little snippets from my other stories. I apologize for the long wait, it usually takes a while before a really good idea for my stories come to me. And when I do get ideas, I write right away. Hoped you enjoy, and see you soon! Be sure to check out my other Divergent AU, Finding Home.**

 **By the way, my blog's link is:** _ **.com**_


	26. Part Twenty-Six

Chapter 26

Tris' POV

 _Guys are such idiots._

Guys literally need to learn how to tame their dicks.

At the moment, I am currently pissed off at Tobias. Not only has he been very handsy lately, his filter is not really working right now as well.

I refused to let him come at a five feet proximity with me. No kissing, no hugging, no touching, no smiling, no nothing. I may have exaggerated a little, but Tobias needs to know who's boss. And that's _me_.

I'm not controlling. Okay, maybe I am, just a little. Who am I kidding- I am pretty controlling. But seriously, Tobias has crossed the line and I refuse to talk to him.

"Tris." Tobias pleads with me. If he's going to act that way, I might as well give him the silent treatment to show how serious I am with him about these types of situations.

Statistically speaking, girls want sex as much as guys do, but I'm not like every girl. Relationships isn't all about sex. It's about how much you love and care for your partner. It's how much you would risk to keep the other safe and happy.

But I am not happy with Tobias. He needs to get his grip together before I bitch rage all over him.

I continue to ignore Tobias' pleads and continue to load my books into my locker.

The reason for me being so mad at him was because before school started I went over to Tobias. He was hanging out with his friends from football. I'm sure half of them take heroin or cocaine. It's disgusting. They were talking about girls and which girls had the biggest boobs. And according to one of them, one of the guys said to Tobias that I was a " _good lay_."

How dare Tobias agree to him? Am I just a "good lay"? Is that all I am to him?

"Do you know what? You can go fuck yourself. Or you can find other girls to do that for you." I slam my locker shut and walk away.

I need Christina. She'll know what to do. I find her at the school library talking to Will. I slam my hand down onto the table.

"Will, can I speak to Chris?" He nods. " _Alone_?"

"Oh right." He gets up. "I'll just be-uhm-uh- over-just-...I'm just going to go." He quickly scurries off.

"Great Tris, you scared off my boyfriend." Christina laughs.

"I am not in the mood. Can I vent for just like five minutes? Without any interruptions?"

"Go ahead, girl. I'm all yours." So, for like five minutes straight, I let out all of my anger on Christina. She nods along with what I say and listens very carefully. I love Christina.

"That dick!" She says aloud and stands up. The librarian glares at her and scolds her for using "inappropriate" language. "At least I'm getting some and you aren't." Christina retorts back to the librarian.

 _Oh snap._

Ms. Cult turns red and sends Christina off with a warning.

"Yeah, yeah whatever." Christina dismisses what she says as she walks away.

"I just don't want to talk to him at the moment. If he wants to hang out with people like that, he can. But I don't want to be involved with a guy who screws around with such major idiots."

"Are you saying you want to break up with him?" Chris asks.

"No! God no. But I'm so confused. I don't want to be with him just so he can't have someone to bang. I'm with him because I love him and I know he loves me. But if he's going to be like that, I don't know anymore. I'm not going to break up with him. I wish he didn't say that or agree." I start to get a little emotional. And I feel tears brimming at the back of my ears. "Is he only with me for sex?"

"No, Tris. Gosh no. If he were, wouldn't he have tried something a long time ago?"

"You're right. I don't know what's wrong with me." I sigh and wipe my tears.

"Hey, hey. Honey, if you want, I can kick his ass for you."

"Thanks for the offer, but I think I'm good."

"How about after school you and I have a girls day. We'll go shopping and do something fun. I feel like we haven't been able to spend quality time with one another in a while. We can even go watch a movie." She says.

"I'd like that very much." I say. I am so grateful to have a friend like Christina. What would I do without her?

"Now come on. Let's get lunch." She offers me her hands and I entwine mine with hers. "Believe it or not, your hands feel nicer than Will's." She says and I burst out laughing.

"Yeah, do you use lotion? Because your hands are very soft." I says in response.

"I do! Cucumber Melon from Bath and Body Works. You like?"

"I love."

The two of us get out lunch and sit at our regular table. We sit down and I silently pray that Tobias and Zeke would not be sitting with us. I cannot stand to be near one of them. I don't mind Zeke, but Tobias probably told him what happened and I really don't want to deal with stupid apologies coming from Zeke that should be coming from Tobias.

Unfortunately, luck must be working against me because I look up and see a frantic looking Tobias looking around the cafeteria.

"Tris!" He shouts and runs up to me. "Look I'm sorry."

I'm really don't want to deal with this drama right now. I'm not in the mood.

I roll my eyes and smile at Christina. "Chris, can you tell Tobias that I don't want to talk to him right now?"

Christina looks up at glanced between the two of us. "Tris doesn't want to speak to you right now."

"Tris, please. Can I talk to you in private?"

"Tell Tobias I am busy and I don't want to talk to him."

"Tris says she's busy and doesn't want to talk to you." Christina says as I continue to pretend like he isn't there. I know it's extremely childish, but he needs to get the hint.

"Tris." He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "Just five minutes, please."

"Can you tell Tobias to fuck off?"

"Tris wants me to tell you to fu-" Tobias interrupts her mid-sentence.

"I know what she said!" He exasperates. "Look, Tris, if you're going to act all childish like this, then just forget about our date tonight." He says irritably. "I'll see you later I guess."

My heart breaks into two. I didn't mean to piss him off. I'm just so annoyed with everything, I guess I should have stopped myself from doing that. He's right, I'm such a child. I burst into tears. "I hate myself right now. I can't believe I just did that" I cry. "Why do I always have to over react and mess things up?"

"Hey, hey. It's fine. You two just need to cool off."

I nod. "You're right. I'll be in the library." I don't care that I barely touched my lunch. I just need to sort all of my feeling out.

I curl up into a ball in one of the corners of the library.

There I was saying how much idiots guys are when I was truly the idiot. I need to apologize. I over reacted and now Tobias is mad at me. I really hate myself at the moment.

I angrily take out my earphones and plug it into my phone. Then, I go to my Fall Out Boy and go to the song, 'Golden'. I love music because it is what understands me the most. The song is so sad and makes me want to cry. It perfectly describes my mood at the moment.

 _And all of those lovers who have no time for me._

I groan loudly and let myself go. I have to stop crying. I don't know why I'm stressing over this. I shouldn't be stressing, right?

It doesn't help with the fact that stupid Twenty One Pilot comes on after the song ends. Fuck, why does their music have to be so damn good?

 _The sun will rise and we will try again..._

Fuck this. I give up.

* * *

I was unable to focus throughout the day and managed to embarrass myself several times in front of my classmates.

I need to apologize to Tobias. I was acting childish and immature.

I run through the halls after school towards Tobias' last period class.

"Tobias!" He turns around and quickly glances at me but continues walking in the other direction. I run faster towards him. "Tobias." I say again when I'm right behind him.

"Look, Tris, I can't talk right now. I have football practice. I have to go." He doesn't even turn around to acknowledge me.

I shoulders slump and I nod my head turn around.

"Tris!" I turn around. "There you are. I've been looking all over you. Come on, let's get our shopping on." She drags me my the arm and I send a quick text to my parents saying that I won't be home until dinner. Luckily, I don't have skating or swim practice today.

I push my thought of Tobias behind my back and put a smile on my face. "Okay, let's go."

* * *

"Okay, girl, tell me how fabulous I look on a scale from 1-10. One being fabulous and ten being absolutely and unbelievably gorgeous." Christina says before stepping out of the dressing room.

I look up from my book and examine her. "One." I deadpan.

"Oh wow. Then okay." She sighs dramatically.

"No, I'm kidding. You look stellar. You look so incredibly hot in that dress." She really does.

I compliment her but I can't concentrate. I just want to be wrapped in Tobias' arms and for him to tell me that everything is going to be alright. Because it will, I know it will. Tobias and I have our arguments but we always come back to each other. I choose him in every way possible, and for some lucky reason, a miracle even, he chooses me as well.

I choose him.

Christina manages to take me out of my trance, and we continue our little shopping trip.

I end up buying several new t-shirts and shorts as well as a couple sweatshirts.

We didn't spend too much time at the mall because our our, mostly my lack of interest. Christina was mainly texting Will and I was mainly thinking about Tobias.

"Okay, babe." Christina sighs. "Let's call it a day, I'm so hungry and tired. Do you know what I'm craving for? Some large ass burgers. Oh my gosh, and a large stakes every milkshake." Christina's mom had recently decided to go on this "diet program." Her mom ended up dragging Christina into this dieting as well and only allows her to eat "healthy food." I'd probably cry if my mom made me do that. Christina has been trying to eat as much junk food as she can when she's not at home.

"That sounds so good right now." I agree and we decide to go to the food cafeteria. I also decide that I'm going to stop buy Tobias' house and apologize for my behavior. He should be coming back home from football practice soon and he must be starving.

We eat our meal together as Christina gossips about the latest rumors about people I have no idea about from school.

"Yeah, and get this, she freaking lost her virginity to him! I overheard that in the locker room today. The guy must be such a prick. I heard from his friend that he's getting it with another girl. Like, can guys get any stupider than that? Ugh." I cringe as she continues to stuff fries in her mouth and talk. I love Christina, but not when she talks with her mouth open.

What if I took a picture of her like that?

I open up my camera and sneak a photo of her eating. I then go to my gallery and look at the picture.

To say I laughed really hard would be a complete understatement.

"Oh hell no. Give me your phone! Beatrice Prior, curse the day you were even born!" To her dismay, I delete the picture, but luckily I would be able to recover the photo thanks to my Apple phone. I'm going to have such amazing blackmail powers over her. Gosh, I'm so evil.

Christina drops me off home after we finish our dinner. When I arrive home, my parents are in the kitchen cleaning up.

"Hey, I'm home! Do you guys need help cleaning?" I ask and throw my backpack onto the floor.

"Yes, that would be lovely, Bea." My dad comes up to me and kisses me on top of my head. "Can you help your mother with the dishes?"

"Of course. After, I'm just going to drop that off for Tobias." I gesture the bag of food with my head. He looks on the kitchen counter.

"Okay, that's fine. I'll be up in your mother's and I room if you need anything."

"Kay, cool."

"How was your day, honey?"

I groan out loudly. "Stressful. Tobias and I got into an argument."

"Oh dear. What about?"

"It would be best if you didn't know. It's complicated." I answer.

"That's what they all say. Okay, well thanks for helping. I'm going to my room now."

"Okay." I wash my hands and grab the house keys, my phone and the bag of food before walking down the street towards Tobias' house.

His room is lit up from where I can see so that obviously means he is home at the moment.

I knock on his front door and Evelyn swings it open. I blush lightly because she's dressed in pajamas and has a green face mask on, which totally confuses me because she has flawless skin.

"Hi Beatrice. Come in, come in." She moves to the side to allow me to step inside her house. I slip off my shoes and places them against the wall.

"I brought Tobias food." I hold up a brown paper bag.

"Aww, how nice of you. He's upstairs with his girlfriend right now." I stop dead in my tracks and look at he with wide-eyes.

"What? Girlfriend?" I my betrays me and I try to get the pounding ache in my head to go away.

"Yeah, they've been seeing one another for the past like two months or something." Evelyn turns to me and smiles. This makes no sense. I was literally here last night. Tobias and I were even saying 'I love you' to one another in front of Evelyn. She even comments on how 'cute' we were.

I takes several deep breaths and close my eyes.

"Honey, are you okay?"

"But- I." I close my eyes as the tears start to fall. "I thought- I..."

"Beatrice." Evelyn places a hand on my shoulder.

"We're dating though." I blurt out.

Evelyn releases a puff of air. "Oh fuck."

The tears start flowing faster and it becomes harder and harder to keep the sob from coming out.

"Let's just get Tobias here and we can all talk this out. There is no need for any- Beatrice!"

Something in me finally snaps and all of that sadness I am currently feeling changes to anger. How dare he cheat on me? He promised he wouldn't hurt me anymore. He promised.

I run towards his room and swing the door open. All these emotions run through me at once.

When I was seven years old, I was playing soccer with a few of my elementary school friends. My friend, Savannah, fell down and I decided to help her up. Just as I turned around to continue playing the game, a soccer ball came hurdling towards me at full speed. I remember waking up with a deep pain in my head. My body hurt and everything just felt wonky and terrible.

But this, I never thought anything would hurt more than that physical pain. It's the emotional pain which hurts the most. My body my have hurted, but the emotional pain is so much worst. My chest constricts and everything feels as if it's just falling apart. It feels like a million bullets are hitting my body, and all I want to do is just hide. I want to take all this pain away. I want it to stop hurting. Please stop hurting.

Lauren and Tobias sit in front of one another on his bed. I want to run. I want to cry.

 _Pain._

So much pain.

He's laughing at something she said, and she smiles brightly at him in return.

All this time, all these lies. _Lies_ , so many lies.

"Tris." Tobias says quietly when he sees me.

"How was football practice? Well, assuming there was even a practice."

"I can explain."

"Of course you can!" I scream. "Is it because I won't have sex with you? Am I not good enough for you? Am I just not...lovable?" I croak.

"Tris..."

"No! I knew it had to be too good to be true. Everything! Is was all some sort of joke. Did I not meaning anything to you? Do you know what? Don't answer that! I'm done with you! I'm done! We're done! Have a good life Tobias Eaton. I hate you!" I run out of his house as fast as I possibly can. My legs burn with each stride I take.

I can't go home. There's so much hurt and anger in me and I need to vent it out somehow. So, I go to the first place I can think of.

I continuously wipe me tears as I approach the small white house. I ring the doorbell and knock on the door three times. The door swings open and I stare at him for a few seconds before I burst into tears ago.

"Hey, it's okay. You're going to be okay." He strokes my head and whispers to me as i cry in his arms. "Want to talk about it?"

I nod my head.

"You're going to be okay." Tyler whispers to me continuously before my body gives out and I loose all my energy from the day. A deep lull finally brings me to a relentless night of sleep.

Tyler's arms allows me to feel safe. I may feel that way now, but I do know that I am not going to be okay.

 _I thought we would be okay...but I guess not._

 **A/N: I cried.**

 **But on a serious note, Happy Birthday to the bae, Jensen Ackles. I love you and you're getting old. Stop growing old.**


	27. Part Twenty-Seven

**A/N: Sorry for any errors. I'm currently at my school's library and I feel like if I reread this chapter I'm going to cry. That would be embarrassing and extremely weird for me.**

Chapter 27

Tris' POV

It's like a never ending circle. No matter what I do, no matter how much I try, it's there.

There so much pain.

Why won't it stop? It _needs_ to stop.

I never really understood the concept of a heartbreak. I didn't understand that a heartbreak was actually a _heart break_. I feel the constant constriction of my chest every time I think of Tobias.

Tobias has hurt me in so many different ways. Just when I thought things were doing great, Evelyn told me that he has been seeing Lauren for the past two months, which I don't understand because we have been dating for only like two and a half weeks.

Last night was absolutely miserable. I fell asleep at Tyler's house, and luckily he texted my parents saying that I would be staying at a friends house.

Nothing is alright.

I woke up countless times throughout the night with several reoccurring dreams. They all involve Tobias and Lauren. It's horrible. Every time I would fall asleep, I'd end up waking up again, crying for a long period of time until falling asleep again.

I don't understand. We were so happy. _I_ was so happy. I thought that he loved me. He told me he loved me.

I chose him. I _freaking_ chose me. But my love wasn't enough. It's never enough.

"Here. Tris, you need to eat." Tyler hands me a banana but I refuse to take it.

"I'm not hungry. I'm fine, thanks."

"No. I'm not giving you an option. Take it." He sighs when I refuse to take the fruit. So instead, he takes my hand and places the banana into the palm of my hands.

"Eat." He says before walking back to the kitchen.

I slowly peel the banana and take reluctant bites knowing that Tyler is right. I really should be eating something otherwise I'm going to go hungry throughout the day. I honestly do not want to go to school today.

I am not ready to face life's, but mostly my problems. It's bad enough Tobias cheated on me with Lauren.

Tyler basically has to drag me to go to school today.

He's has been so kind. Though what annoys me the most is that he is constantly checking if I'm okay. I understand he is trying to help and emotionalize with me, but I'm just not in he mood to do anything. I explained in detail what happened with me and Tobias and he listened very carefully. I could easily tell that he did not like what I told him, but he managed to keep a calm demeanor throughout my explanation.

"Come on." He quickly gets up from his sitting position. "We should probably go to school."

As much as I don't want to, he is right. I should probably get ready. I thank Tyler and he walks to me my house, even though it is completely unnecessary. He tells me that he's going to wait for me to finish getting ready. With a half an hour before school, I manage to do so in record time. I comb my hair, brush my teeth, wash my face, and put on a decent outfit.

My outfit literally screams, ' _I don't give a fuck, why am I even here?'_

I look like a mess.

But who the fuck cares? It's not like anyone actually gives two shits about me.

Why am I even trying?

I grab my bag and realize that I forgot to do my homework. I curse aloud and decide that I'll just do it as quick as I possibly can. And if I don't finish, it won't matter that much.

Tyler and I sit quietly as he drives me to school. The awkward tension is so thick and all I want to do it jump out of the car. It's not like it matters if I get hurt. I'm already emotionally hurt anyways. Every time I look at Tyler, I think of Tobias. I think of how I left him to be with someone else. I think of how Tobias told me he loved me. I think of how he used to hug me when I was sad. I think of how he bought me chocolates and this big ass teddy bear when I was on my period. I think of how he can no longer tell me everything is going to be alright. Because nothing is alright.

For a moment, for just a moment he made me happy. He made me see the good things in life. Before, everything was dull, sad, depressing.

Now that's all I see. I see nothing. Just nothing.

I thank Tyler for everything and I head straight to my first period class. The whispers, the constant chatter, I ignore all of it and keep my head down as I walk through the halls. I place a smile on my face despite how I'm feeling and continue to walk.

My teacher asks if I'm okay. She notices that that I'm not as enthusiastic about today's lesson. She says it's strange how I'm not participating as usual. She even notices how I don't correct her on her grammar anymore. But I don't say anything. I tell her I'm fine. But I'm not.

I get several looks asking if I'm okay. Apparently I look so sad. But who's to blame me for feeling this way. I don't see Tobias at all today. I know he's here, we just don't have any classes with one another anymore, which is a total relief. I'm not stable to see or talk to him.

During lunch I don't sit with my normal group of friends. Instead, I go to the front of the school and eat lunch by myself. I sit beneath the largest tree on campus and read. I read and read just so everything will go away- all my problems, all these feelings, everything. This way, I can just drown out all of my sorrows and focus on something different.

"Hey I thought I'd find you here." Dammit, I forgot that he knew about this place. After Tobias hurt me the first time, I used to come here all the time to eat lunch alone just so I could have time to think about what I did wrong.

"Hey, Uri. I forgot that you knew about this tree I always go to." I pay the tree.

"Yeah." He sits crossed legged next to me. "Are you okay, the group and I thought you were like MIA." He says.

"I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"Don't lie to me." He scolds.

"I'm just hurting, I guess. I need to be alone." I sigh and lean against the tree. It's too nice of a day to be sad. It's sunny around seventy-degrees. There's a nice breeze that comes every few minutes. The tree provides perfect shading and the grass is so soft and a healthy green.

"What happened?" Uriah purses his lips and furrows his eyebrows.

"I-Uhm." I feel the tears coming back and I let them fall. It's not like it matters, I already am broken beyond repair. "I broke up with Tobias." The pain in my chest returns and the tears start flowing. "I thought that he and I were good. I thought that he was happy. I was happy. But he wasn't. I wasn't good enough, Uri. I'm such a failure. Where did I go wrong? I thought I was doing fine. I thought that we were fine. Weren't we? Wasn't I good enough for him?" I continue to cry and Uriah takes me into his arms telling me everything is going to be okay.

Why do they keep lying to me?

"It was probably because I wouldn't have sex with him, wasn't it?" It must be. Of course Tobias would want to have sex. That's probably why he decided to date Lauren because she would give him what he wants.

"Hey, Tris. Look at me." I look at his face but everything is blurred with my tears. "You're better than this. The Tris Prior I know would just suck it up. She's strong, smart, beautiful. She can do anything, and I know you can to."

"But I'm not her. I'm this weak, pathetic, girl. I'm not that Tris. That Tris is long gone. Just leave me alone, okay? I'm tired."

I'm weak.

Uriah thinks I can do it. But I know I can't.

After school is a total disaster. The day felt like an eternity. It felt like I was being slowly sucked into a bottomless pit.

I'm miserable.

As I walk to my locker to receive my binders and textbooks, I hear screaming down the hall. I think of it as nothing because our school usually have fights, most of them being with the druggies of our school. Well, I try to ignore it u till I hear my name being shouted.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! How could you hurt her like that!" A voice screams.

I almost want to just run away and not have to deal with this. But they're acting like children.

I run over to where all the commotion is. A huge herd of students are huddled in a large circle and in the middle is of course, Tobias and Tyler. Tyler's face is red and Tobias just stands there as Tyler yells at him.

I wiggle my way closer to them getting pushed on the way because these people want to see them fight.

For a moment, the quickest moment I forget what Tobias did to me. I forget about all the pain and suffering I'm feeling.

Tobias' shoulders are slumped and he looks tired. His shirt is half tucked and half hanging out of his pants. His hair's a mess and his fly is down. That's embarrassing.

"I didn't do anything!" Tobias recuperates.

"Fucking bullshit!" Where are the teachers, I mean seriously?

They continue yelling at each other until Tyler punches Tobias straight in the jaw.

"Hey!" I yell and run up to them in hopes they'd break apart. "Stop it! Both of you."

"Stay out of this!" They both yell. I shrink backwards feeling totally helpless.

They continue hitting one another and once again, I try to separate them apart.

"Tris, just go." Tyler says to me.

"Stop fighting!"

I manage to push them apart and they stand a few feet from one another just sending each other nasty glares. I'm so sick of everything.

"Good. I'm glad this is over. Now we can all just be friends and-" I try to say.

"How can you say that, Tris? He made you feel helpless and he broke your heart. How can you just let everything slide?" Tyler asks.

"If you would just let me explain."

"Gosh, you two are acting like complete idiots."

"Tris, you're the idiot here." Tyler spits. I drop my hands to my side and don't say anything. My lip trembles and I start to back away. Tyler's gaze then softens. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"What the fuck is wrong with you! You're fucking hurt her!" Tobias turns red once again and he charges towards.

"Stop!" I scream. "Stop it!"

"Just off me you fucking-" I run to separate them, but as I do, I am slammed hard against the locker. My back screams in agony and I slump against the floor. Pain runs through my back and I manage to get up. The two boys look at me as if they just ran over a puppy.

"Tris-" Tobias covers his mouth. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. I swear. I-I-"

But I don't let him finish. I grab my backpack and the group of students part and allow me to run away from all this chaos, from all my problems, from everything.

My body screams in protest but I keep running. I run until I feel numb.

I tighten the laces of my skates and wobble my way onto the rink. I am so angry- angry at myself, angry at Tobias, at Tyler, at everyone.

I'm just so tired. I skate around to the music allowing my mind to just control my movements. It's after hours but I managed to pull some strings with the manager and he allowed me to stay by myself. It's not like I've done it before, the manager is a family friend and he trusts me to lock the place up by myself.

The rink is empty so I skate everywhere gaining speed. I launch myself in the air to do a triple axel but end up falling on my butt as I land. I get up and try again, but once again, I trip over my legs and fall on the ice landing hard. I scream in frustration because usually I am able to do the jump really well. But with all the agony and everything that has happened the past few days distract me and I'm unable to do most of the jumps that I've perfected over the years. I try doing other jumps like the loop, toe, salchow, but I mess all of them up.

My frustration gets to the best of me and I just collapse on the ice and cry.

I'm just so sad. I can't deal with all this stuff any longer. I want to be done.

"Tris!" I hear the door open with a jingling noise which comes from the bell, and soft footsteps. "I've been calling your cell for the past hour. I've looked everywhere for you." Christina sees me collapsed onto the ice. "Oh fuck."

She walks onto the ice with shoes on to the middle of the rink where I am.

"How are you not freezing your ass off, literally? Oh come on, let's get you off the ice." She grabs my arm and pulls me off. We walk out of the rink and sit down onto one of the tables.

"I'm tired." I say quietly.

"I know, me too."

"No I'm tired of everything." I say. "You want to know what I hate the most? When I look at myself in the mirror, I see someone broken, lost, insecure, vulnerable. I see this sad girl and I just want her to disappear. Tobias hurt me so much. And I thought that we were okay. I thought we were going to be fine, I thought he was perfectly happy. Everyone says that love hurts, but that's not true. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Everyone confuses these things with love, but in reality, love is the one thing that covers up all of these things and makes us feel wonderful again.

"I just feel like I'm not good enough. I try and try to be this perfect girl, but it's just so damn hard. I feel like everyone expects something from me. I try so hard to be a perfect student, a perfect daughter, a perfect sister, a perfect friend, and a perfect girlfriend but I feel like it's just not enough. And-" I cry, "and it's so hard to feel like everything is okay, because it's not. I feel like everyone is expecting something from me. But really, deep down, I'm hurt. I'm tired of all these expectations and limits and I just want it to go away. I want the pain to stop. I want everything to just stop. I thought that he and I were okay, you know? And he made me smile and he made me so freaking happy. And I thought that he was my reward. Tobias made me feel so special and being with him just made all that pain and expectations go away.

"And then there's just so much pressure. I push myself so hard and it's just tearing me apart. It's tearing me piece my piece. I thought that if I studied hard, did all of this extra curricular than I'd be this ideal child. But now, it's too much. I'm so miserable. I'm just...tired. I'm so, so tired." I constantly wipe my eyes and I rant.

Christina listens as I have a mental breakdown. She brings me into her arms and runs her hands through my hair and plays with each strand.

"I think we should get you home. You look...tired."

"No! I'm fine. I can't leave until I perfect my jumps." I get up and while my still running tears.

"Tris, I don't think that's a good idea. Let me get you home and then we can-"

"Chris, I'm fine."

"Okay, fine. Then I'll wait for you to finish." She sits back down as I run back onto the ice. I let myself skate around the ice letting the cold air hit my face as I speed around in the rink. I do several spins and jumps before messing up again.

All these frustration, all of this anger is too much. I groan loudly and try again, and again, and again.

I don't exactly know why, but I burst out crying.

I hear Christina say something but I don't exactly interpret what she says.

I try to do this one last time but end up landing hard on my ankle. The pain shoots up my spine and cry out. All of my body weight landed right onto my right ankle, so it hurts like a fucking bitch. I clutch onto it. I scream out in agony and Christina comes rushing into the rink.

"Hey, hey, look at me, okay?"

"Call Caleb!" I cry.

"I'm going to call the ambulance first okay?"

I nod my head and comply. I probably only fractured something, but with everything that has happened, the pain is worsened by a lot.

I hear Christina talking to what I am assuming to be my parents. In the background, I faintly hear sirens. Although this injury was nothing to minor, it still nice to know that Christina called for help immediately.

Several medical people rush through the door.

"Is everyone okay?" They look frantic.

"No biggy. Everyone is fine. I think I broke something." I cry.

"Oh, let me check." A medic approaches me onto the ice and crouches down. He feels around my ankle and I hiss out in pain.

"Fuck." I say under my breath.

"Is there an adult here?"

"No, not at the moment." I answer.

"If your mom and dad would like, we can take you to the ER to get it wrapped up. There is definitely some broken bone on your right foot." I give Christina a look and she nods her head.

I end up riding in the ambulance vehicle and tell Christina to go home. Nothing severe happened so she doesn't exactly need to stay, and plus I already feel bad that she had to watch me break down in front of her eyes.

Christina ends up reluctantly complying to much dismay. A woman helps me into the hospital and I sign a couple forms. I thank her and they leave me in the waiting room for the next available doctor. I text my parents who tell me they are currently on the way over.

"Beatrice Prior?"

Despite the constant stabbing sensation on my right leg, I limp over and the doctor helps me onto a bed-like thing.

"I'm going to have you come over into this room. Let's get your leg x-rayed."

After getting my leg scanned, he tells me that I fractured both my tibia and fibula.

"This is what we call a-"

"Bimalleolar fracture, yes I know." I answer before he can say anything. "Sorry, I love learning about human anatomy and osteology." Gosh, I'm such a nerd.

The doctor laughs, "no, it's fine. It's nice to know there is intelligence in your generation."

 _Ouch._

He wraps my leg and provides me crutches to walk on for the next six weeks.

"Have you ever broken or fractured a bone before?" I shake my head. The doctor ends up explaining to me the rules of having a cast. No strenuous activities and what not.

Both my mom and dad arrive just as I finish the appointment. "Thank you."

My mom pays for the appointment or whatever and we all drive home together.

Everything... _everything_ I've been through finally gets to the best of my and I have a good night's sleep.

The silence is calming, and I know deep down I'm okay.

I'm okay.

I think I'm going to be okay.


	28. Part Twenty-Eight

**First I'd just want to thank all my followers, and all of those who even bother to read my stories. Thank you so much, I wouldn't even be writing here, without all of you. Enjoy!**

Chapter 28

Tris' POV

It's so hard keeping a smile on my face. I tell myself that I'm going to be happy. I tell myself that everything is alright. But I just feel so empty. I feel so sad.

I scream and cry, and then I cry some more. All the light in me disappeared and now it's filled with an empty pit.

My mom decided to send me to therapy. She says it's not healthy punishing myself. But how could I not? Why do I feel so useless?

I'm trying to get better, I really am. Some nights I don't allow myself to do anything until I force myself to eat.

Tobias seems fine. That's what I've been told. He must be so happy we're finally over. I must have been a horrible girlfriend. But I'm happy that he's finally happy. He must be so ecstatic with Lauren. I don't even care anymore. I haven't talked to him in two weeks. He's tried calling, texting, and leaving voice messages but I refuse to listen to any of them.

It's bright and hot today. We have our first swim meet of the season against another school. We have one of the best swim teams in the state and I'm excited for this season.

Honestly, it sucks. Not the swim team, but being able to not do anything. This stupid cast literally refrains me from doing anything. I can't skate, I can't swim, and my leg is itchy 24/7 and I can't fucking itch it because of the stupid cast. However, I am still going to the swim meet as moral support.

After school ends, I ride the elevate down the top floor and crutch my way towards our school swimming pool. It's a huge struggle and I manage to drop several books onto the floor.

"Damn it." I hiss. I lean my crutches against several lockers and place my weight on my left foot. I bed down to the best of my ability until I feel a presence rush to my side. I am handed my books.

"Thank you." I am met with another girl in my grade.

"Tris is it?" She asks me. She's a cute looking girl with brown hair and eyes and several freckles on her cheeks. She smiles.

"Yeah. Uhm, I'm sorry I don't think we've ever met. What's your-"

"I'm Payton." She smiles.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Payton. I put the books in my backpack because obviously carrying it around did not work out. I put my backpack back on and grab my crutches. "Well, thank you so much for the help. I seriously appreciate it. I'll see you around then."

"Yeah. No problem. Bye Tris." I thank her once last time before walking down the hall. On my way down, I spot Tobias at his locker. His back it turns towards me. For a moment, my heart stops and I have to make sure I breathe. He and I may be done, but that doesn't mean I haven't stopped loving him. It hurts so much knowing that he doesn't love me. I tell myself to keep walking and without a second glance, I turn around and crutch in the other direction. My chest hurts and all I want to do is lock myself in a room and cry.

What did I ever do to deserve this?

* * *

I sit on a chair and cheer as three swimmers from our school swim against three others in the following event, 50 fly. I smile as all three JV girls place first through third as the other three girls come in seconds behind them.

My head is turned to the side, and I don't notice a boy sitting next to me. I turn my head to the side and see Tyler smiling down at me.

I smile in return. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to support your team." He says with a large grin. "And I brought you flowers." I feel my face heat up and I use my hair to cover my blushing face.

He places the bouquet of flowers on my lap. "You didn't have to. I'm not even swimming anyways."

Tyler lifts his hand and tucks my hair behind my ears.

I back away. "Friends. Just friends."

A ghost of a frown appears on his face but her covers it up with a grin. "I know. I know. I'm just doing you a _friendly_ favor."

"Sure." I am honestly lost for words. I don't know how to respond to Tyler. He's always flirting and smiling and, I just, I don't know. I keep telling him that were friends and he keeps saying he knows, but I don't understand why he keeps doing this. I love him as a _friend_ , but he should stop trying. He _needs_ to move on.

He sighs. "So, how have you been. Are you okay?"

I stare at the floor. Am I okay? No, I'm not. "I'm- I don't know. I feel like I'm okay, but the next thing you know, I'm bawling my eyes out. I don't even- I thought he and I were fine, you know?"

"Tris," he sighs and runs his hands through his hair, "he shouldn't have done what he did to you. You're an amazing person both inside and out and Tobias is an idiot for not realizing that, okay? He's missing out on something wonderful."

I smile at Tyler. He's so caring and sweet. His turquoise eyes twinkle a little and he smiles in return.

"How about you and I go grab some ice cream, just like old times."

"Sure, why not. They're not going to miss me." Tyler grabs my backpack and I stand up and he then hands me my crutches.

"Thanks." He slings my bag over his shoulder and we walk to his car.

"I should apologize." He says after a minute of silence.

"For what?"

"The fight. I just got so angry and I punched Tobias. It was so stupid of me and out of character. He deserved it though, I'm just saying. But point is, I'm sorry about letting my anger pass."

"Hey." I stop walking and place my hand on his shoulder. "It's fine. Let's just move on, okay?"

"But he pushed you Tris! Look, I just," he runs his hand through his hair. "I love you, Tris. And you broke up with me for Tobias and I just, I feel like he didn't deserve you. I feel so guilty about it too, I know he made you happy, but you made me happy too. It's selfish, but-"

Before he can say anything else, I hug him despite my broken leg and having to deal with these stupid crutches. He hugs me back and nuzzles his face in my shoulder.

"You're an amazing person. I honestly feel awful for hurting you, Ty. But one day, you're going to finally move on and then your going to find that special girl. One that makes you even happier than I ever did. She will love you for all you annoying perks and amazing personality." I say against his chest.

He pulls back and smiles. "Annoying perks?"

"Yeah. You have so many." I say smiling.

"Oh? I want to hear them."

"Well...You...Uhm...You have this habit of..."

"Having trouble there, Miss Tris?" He has this stupid cocky grin on his face.

I push him lightly and say, "shut up. Wait! I thought of one. I hate the way you can move your pecks up and down. And it gets so annoying sometimes because that's all you would do. Only Dwayne Johnson can do it and make it work."

"Oh, you mean like this?" He starts moving his pecks up and down and I can see them move through his shirt."

"Ew no! Just stop." I exclaim, laughing.

"God Tris. You make it so hard to not love you." He says out of the blue.

"I'm sorry?"

Tyler runs a hand through his hair. "Come on, let's just get some ice cream."

* * *

"Is that little Miss Prior and Tyler Evans I see?" A nice woman, around her mid-forties greets us.

I smile. "Hi Ashley. Long time no see."

"I'll be damned, my girl. Last time you came here I gave you free ice cream and you haven't even bothered to show up at least once?" She places her hands on her hips. "Aren't you a little clumsy one? I swear, half the times you come in, you are wearing a cast of some sort. And Tyler! How can you be so careless monitoring your girl."

I look at Tyler, bewildered. "Oh we aren't-were not dating anymore."

Ashley rolls her eyes. "What a shame, you two would have made _exceptional_ babies. Why, when are you two going to start working here now? My son is great and all, but he's such a slacker, that boy."

"I don't know. I don't think I can until summer, Ashley." I tell her.

"Ai!" She exclaims and hits me in the arm. She then cusses a swear word in German.

"Ow!"

Tyler smiles coyly. "Well...can we get ice cream?"

"For you yes. For Tris, no." I look at Ashley with the saddest expression I can muster.

"Sweetheart, you know I can't resist that adorable face of yours." She says and then pinches my cheeks.

"Mint chocolate chip please." I say sweetly.

"For you Tyler?"

"Vanilla."

"No." She says, very seriously.

"What why?"

"I refuse to give you such a boring flavor. No vanilla."

Tyler playfully rolls his eyes. "Fine. I'll get rocky road. Better?"

"Much."

After paying for the ice cream, much to Ashley's dismay, we talk for a bit before finally leaving. Tyler sends me home.

"Thanks for today." I tell him. "I really needed something like this."

"No problem. I'll see you later. Bye Tris."

I wave at him before he turns around to leave. "Bye, see you."

* * *

Though don't get me wrong when I say this: I enjoy reading. I love it. But when your teacher assigns you to read a seven hundred page book in a week and a half time, while I take two other AP class; reading is no fun.

I sit in the empty library in on of the tables trying to get the reading done. My teacher assigns deadlines for a certain amount of chapters we need to read each day.

With everything going on in my life, it is extremely difficult to concentrate. With Tobias, my friends, skating, homework, and life in general, everything seems so complicated.

I don't realize I am passively reading a chapter or two (because I'm thinking of Tobias) until I notice that I have read at least thirty pages. I groan in frustration because I now have to reread those pages in order to know what is happening in the stupid book. My eyes thoroughly read each sentence this time capturing each important detail and marking the important pages with a sticky note because I know that we are going to write an analysis essay of this book once we have finished. I almost break down on the spot due to how stressed I am.

I bite my lip and clench my eyelids closed.

He promised me he wouldn't hurt me again, but look what happened. I'm hurt, I'm tired, and I feel _so_ lost.

I hear a chair being pulled besides me and I look up to see who it is.

My chest clenches together and my blood boils.

"Hey." She sighs out.

"Lauren, what are you doing here and what do you want?"

"Can I sit?"

"Do I really have a choice?" I ask and she sits and stares at me. "Look, Lauren, I have a lot of homework and I don't have time for all of this nonsense so if you'll please...please just..." I words get lost and the tears start to flow and all I want to do curl up in a ball.

Lauren doesn't make eye contact with me. I don't blame her, I'd feel extremely uncomfortable if I saw someone crying in front of me.

"Tobias never cheated on you."

"Is this some joke? Did he put you up to this? Is there a camera someone?" I say angrily while wiping the liquid that is flowing below my eyes.

"No, no! He didn't put me up to this, I swear. My grades...they were dropping and my math teacher asked him to tutor me. I'd come twice a week for to tutoring at his house. Tobias never wanted to do it. I don't blame him, I'm just his crazy ex girlfriend. But I changed, I did. When he and I dated, I was jealous. You and him were such good friends and I was so jealous of you Tris. You're so pretty and smart and athletic. And I was some dumb girl. I never meant to hurt you. I wish I could take back those awful things I said. I'm sorry. Don't blame Tobias, he was just following my teacher's orders. You guys are meant to be." What kind kind of bull is this? I almost want to laugh because, Lauren, of all people, is telling me that I belong with Tobias. Especially when she was the one who caused all the trouble in the first place, _both_ times.

There is so much information thrown at me, and it takes me a while to comprehend it all.

"He didn't tell me this." Is all I can say. How could Tobias not trust me and not tell me this?

"I'm sorry, he told me you knew so I thought you were fine with the tutoring. I didn't mean,-I'm sorry." Well that just makes it even worse.

I quickly pack my things. "I have to go. I can't- I cant deal with this right now, I have to go. Thanks, uh, yeah." I run to the only place I can think of at the moment, well, more like run while I'm on these stupid crutches. I sling my bag to the floor and sink to the floor and hug my legs close to me.

Relationships are supposed to be built off of trust. I told Tobias everything, and he never even bothered to trust me.

My fingers pluck at the grass as I fix my glaze over to the football field.

 _He lied._

The wind feels nice against my face as I watch a lacrosse game going on.

 _All those times he told me he had football practice._

I watch as the lacrosse team tackle one another in the field in reach for the ball.

 _He told me that he loved me and would always tell me everything._

A boy's body slams against another boy from the opposing team.

" _You promised! You freaking promised!" I croak. "You said you wouldn't change, and you did." I yank the bracelet he gave me in sixth grade and fling it at him. "I hate you. I hate you so much._ "

As if in slow motion, the boy falls to the ground. His helmet flies off his head and he collapses. Unconscious.

Maybe that's what I am. Lost. Hurt.

Broken.

I'm so broken and that's why Tobias doesn't want me. I'm broken.

 **A/N: I'm sure we can all agree that my updating habits are extremely poor. It's almost the end of school, so once that is over, I will have much more time to work on my stories. (I'll let in with a secret, I'm in the mist of writing a new story, I might give you a little sneak peak, I don't know yet). Thanks for reading, and I'll see you soon! Bye!**

 **Make sure to leave a comment on your thoughts, ideas, idk.**


	29. Part Twenty-Nine

Chapter 29

Tris' POV

The school buzzed with excitement throughout because today is the day of formal. Whoop-dee-doo.

Christina forced me to go dress shopping with her even though I no longer have a date to this _stupid_ dance. I don't even understand why I have to go to this stupid dance anyways. I'd rather watch TV or read a book.

Who cares about stupid formal? Sometimes I wonder why I even try. I work myself too hard sometimes, and all I need is a break. I don't need to go to this dance. Especially since I am no longer going with anybody, it doesn't really matter anymore.

All my friends have dates, all but me.

I put my laptop away because I know Christina and Marlene and going to give me a whole lecture if they see that I'm not ready for the dance. I should be excited. Especially since I was supposed to go with Tobias.

He was supposed to pick me up all dazzled up wearing a matching bow tie (he knows how much I love bowties). He would have greeted me with a kiss when I opened the door and give me a corsage and I would have given him a boutonnière. All these fantasies, yet none of them are going to be true.

I don't understand why I wasted money on this dress anyways. Why should I go if I'm not even going to have a good time anyways?

I slip the dark purple dress on and zip it up. I let my hair down and braid it to the side. I put on some make up and freshen myself up. I try not to take long because I don't really care how I look anyways. It's not like anyone is going to pay attention to me.

Christina comes shortly after I finish getting ready.

She knocks on my door holding her dress in one arm with another bag in the other. She looks at me wide eyed. "Don't tell me you already got ready when I planned on helping you with _everything_."

"...Sorry?" I ask and shrug my shoulders.

"At least this isn't prom otherwise I would have freaked out."

"Yup and thank god we are not juniors or seniors because formal is one thing, but prom? I would drive myself nuts having to deal with dress shopping and all that stuff." I say.

"I'm just going to do my hair." She completely ignores my comment and heads towards the bathroom. Wow. And we're best friends too.

"You have half an hour till the dance."

"I can do it in ten." She answers. _What_?

Surely enough, Christina comes out of the bathroom with her makeup perfectly done and hair in some fancy up do. I don't even question her abilities to do all that in such a short amount of time.

"Where's Mar?"

"She just texted me. She's going with Uriah instead." I tell her.

"Wow. How rude. You don't see me going with Will. I thought this was supposed to be girl time with the three of us. Whatever. Oh my gosh, did you hear what happened with Isabella McRomer?"

"No...?"

"Well apparently she just broke up with her boyfriend and rumor has it she asked Tobias to the dance to make her ex jealous. Can you believe that?"

"Where do you learn all this stuff from?" I ask.

"I like to talk a lot." _No kidding._ But that's what I love about her- extremely straight forward and never sugar coats things, at all. "And I'm always talking to these group of girls in chemistry and they tell me all of these things. It's impressive how much they know." I wouldn't be surprised Christina is able to keep up with these girls especially since she can fit right in with them. She's amazing that way.

"Huh. Anyways, let's go." I say and then we head to Christina's car.

I never thought I would say this, but Christina is the slowest driver ever. She stays maybe at least ten miles per hour _under_ the limit which drives me nuts. Even I'm _that_ careful while driving. And I don't even have my license yet,

"Ugh, Chris. Can you go any slower?"

"I am being a safe driver."

"You do know, you can get a ticket for driving too slow. It has happened before." I say with a sigh. IT happened to my uncle when we visited him in Wisconsin.

"Tris, just shush. We're almost there. Only like four more blocks."

I smile with a teasing look on my face. "Yeah, four blocks, and each block will take a few minutes for _you_ to pass through."

"Don't make me stop the car."

"I don't even know why I'm complaining. I don't even want to go to the stupid dance anyways."

"You don't mean that. You've been so excited the past few weeks."

"That's because I was wth Tobias!" My chest constricts and I know I'm about to cry. As stereotypically as it seems, my mood swings are deceiving me right now. Stupid PMSing. "That was because I had a stupid date to this stupid dance. I don't even want to go anymore." I lean my head against the door of the car. "Boys are stupid. I am never going to date again. No marriage, no kids. Maybe I should just flunk out of school and become a I don't know, a stripped for all I care! They seem cool right? Dance and get free money?" I wipe my eyes with the palm of my hands. "Maybe I should do that for a living instead of becoming a doctor."

"You are being _so_ dramatic right now. And I thought I was the dramatic one. Yeah boys are stupid and a massive distraction, but Tris you should stop caring about the past and live in the now. Now we're _going_ to go to that stupid dance and have fun whether you like it or not."

"I hate you with a passion."

"And I love you too. Now stop sulking. The more you do that, the more wrinkles you'll have when you're older." She tells me.

"Oh shut up."

* * *

When we arrive to our school dance, we give the people at the front our tickets and show them or school ID. They mark us present and go an alcohol blow test to make are we aren't intoxicated with anything. Once we are cleared, we are allowed entrance to the dance.

Christina grabs me by the wrists and walks me over to a table where Will is waiting.

"Wait! I'm going to fall on my face if you don't spare me." My fingers tighten around the grip of my crutches.

"Hey William." I say trying out his full name. He puckers his lips at the sound of his name.

"No?" He shakes his head. "Mm. I agree."

Christina gives me a blank look but I can tell by her eyes that she thinks this situation is incredibly funny. Our friendship just works that way. I can also tell she really wants me to leave due to this sexual tension I can feel radiating off of those two. Ew.

"I'm just going to...yeah, bye." I turn around and leave not really knowing where to go.

I decide that I might as well explore the place if I'm going to be here for the next four hours.

There is a mini garden in the back entrance of the is museum. There is also a small fountain in the middle of the garden with crystal-clear water coming out of it. A marble frame surrounds the fountain and I decide to sit on it. I don't really understand why there is a garden in the first place in a museum of all places too.

The moon illuminates the sky giving it a bright low to the stars that are so evident in the sky.

I play with my fingers not knowing what to right now. I don't exactly want to be here especially knowing Tobias is probably a mere hundred feet away from me.

"Hey." Great, I take that back. _Three_ feet away from me.

"What do you want?" I ask glaring at a rose bush trying to avoid any eye contact.

"I just want to talk." He says softly.

"And I really want a cheeseburger right now, I guess we don't all get what we want." I start to get up and walk out.

"There's some downstairs, I can get you some-" He grabs my wrist and I pull away.

"Just leave me alone." I finally look at him. "Please."

"I never meant to hurt you. I swear, Lauren and I were never a thing. She needed help in a few subjects and my teacher made me tutor her." He explains.

"I know, she told me."

"Then you forgive me?"

I sigh, "Tobias that's not how it works. You or Lauren just can explain it to me and expect me to automatically forgive you. You lied to me." I say. "And I thought- I thought you trusted me enough to tell me these things."

"I do trust you." His eyes look pleading.

"You don't trust me enough!" I take a deep breath and close my eyes. "Relationships are built over trust. "I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you. But you have to understand that I'm only human. You can't expect me to not get mad over these things. And you can't keep hurting me like this." I place my hand over his heart. "I just- one day, I hope you will find that special girl that you trust and will love. And when you do, I'll be happy for you."

I sniff and wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand.

"But I love you, Tris!" He grabs both my wrists and looks me in my cloudy, watery eyes. "I love you more than anything in this whole world."

It's so difficult to speak, because I feel like if I do, he wouldn't make sense of any of my words.

"If you love me enough, then you'd set me free." I say as stupid as it sounds. "I can't do this anymore. I'm just tired of everything. I'll see you around, maybe." He lets go of my wrists and I walk back inside. The room is filled with many couples dancing to a mainstream slow song that is currently playing. I see Christina and Will dancing with one another so I decide to let them be.

Instead of bothering them, I call Caleb to pick me up. He never comes to dances because he prefers watching Japanese anime and playing video games with his friends. Don't ask. And plus, I still am unable to drive myself anywhere.

I sniff and hug myself trying to consume the warmth radiating off of me.

He comes within fifteen minutes. "You okay?"

I give him a half smile. "Just tired."

The car ride back home is silent and I prefer that way because it allows me to get my thoughts together.

"Do you want talk about it? "Caleb looks at me with a sincere look on his face.

"Boy problems." I say vaguely.

"You know, it may not seem like it, but I'm here if you ever need help." He says still looking at the road.

"Tobias." I whisper. "It's enough getting hurt once, but again? I don't think I ever want to date another boy again."

"As amazing as that sounds, you're going to have to realize that not relationships are sunshine and rainbows. I mean, look at mean and Susan. I loved her, but obviously we didn't work out. Beatrice," the name sounds so foreign coming out of him, "you have to learn the difficulties of heartbreak."

"I guess. I'm just tired of constantly getting hurt by him. After a while, you just want to give up. Maybe I just want to be the lone wolf for a while, I guess."

"I understand. And hey," he nudges my arm, "if you two were meant to be, fate will eventually bring you two together."

"When did you get so wise?"

"Since I started watching Gilmore Girls." I give him a look.

"I'm joking. Susan used to make me watch it with her. I never really paid attention." I don't even hide my smile.

"Thanks. It means lots that you helping me."

"Yeah, and if you want I can kick his ass for you."

"The only ass you can kick are the virtual kinds on your stupid video games. But I appreciate the help."

"They're not stupid!" He exclaims.

"Yeah. Sure."

Caleb's right, as much as I hate to admit. There are times when you just have to suck it up and continue you're day as if nothing happened. I guess I won't let anyone rain on my parade. And maybe, with all this shit going on, I can finally be happy.

Like what I read on Tumblr, 'When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

So I do. The first time in what feels like forever...

I smile.

 **A/N: I'm finally off school! I'm trying to get a lot of writing done, and I have this stupid math summer school because I accepted to take an excellerated course. It's complicated (no pun intended). Anyways, I'm hoping to publish an ew Divergent story soon, because this story is coming to an end sometime soon. Maybe five more chapters? Idk, but yeah. I have a new story in mind and I'm really excited about it. Thank you for reading, and good luck to those of you who are still in school. Bye bye!**


	30. Part Thirty

**A/N: I am on a roll with these updates! Expect a new Divergent story coming from me within a week of two. Until next time, and thanks to all my followers, readers, and everyone who has sticked with me so far! I love all of you guys so much! Please leave a comment on what you thought of this chapter:) (or not, doesn't matter. I just love hearing what you guys think)**

 **I just realized this story is one year old! Woah. But anyways, enjoy.**

Chapter 30

 _Tobias' POV_

Never in a million years would I have ever thought a girl would cause so much hurt and pain. And out of all the girls, it would have been my best friend, Tris.

 _Or ex._

Ex-best friend and ex-girlfriend.

She looked so beautiful last night. With her purple dress and her hair done to the side. I believe the women specimen call a 'braid'. Her blue eyes danced in the moonlight and her shimmering smile lit up the whole dance floor. She was a hidden desire. A dark temptation. But she is mine. _Was_ mine.

I remember when my mom used to tell me that love is a mystery. It hurts you and it causes so much pain. But that's what's beauty about love. It brings out so much raw emotion. It's deceiving, evil, but in the end, it's what brings two or more people close to one another.

I should have tried harder. I shouldn't have let her go so easily. Maybe that's the problem. I don't put enough effort. I try and try, but sometimes, in the end, it's never enough.

Is that what she meant?

She thought her love wasn't enough, but it was. Her love was so beautiful and pure, but I was the problem. She wasn't. It was all me.

It feels like my heart constricts every time I think of Tris. I would never cheat on her. Not in a million years. It's practically impossible to cheat on such a lovely creature. Tris is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and there would never be a chance were I'd be unfaithful to her. Never.

She's the love of my life. I don't understand why she'd ever think that in the first place. But then again, I did lie, and that is just as bad.

I thought it would be best to save any hardships if I didn't tell Tris I had to tutor Lauren. Tris already hated her enough, but to tell her I have to spend an hour alone with her three times a week? I didn't think she would take it too well.

You never stop loving someone once their done. It hurts so much and I feel so useless because I don't know how to get her back.

I get a text message from Zeke asking me to over to his house, and since I have nothing better to do, I go.

The drive to his house is short and right when I walk to his front porch, his door swings wide open.

A day in which I though would be filled with video games and distractions end up ending in the garbage when I see Tris' friends and Zeke and Shauna here.

"What is this?" I ask staring down at Zeke.

"It's an intervention. You know, hence the very large sign that says ' _Intervention_ '. Uriah thought of it after he binged watched 'How I Met Your Mother.'" It's when I turn my glare over to Uriah.

"Don't look at me. All I was doing was trying to help." He puts his hands in the air.

"What is it for?"

Christina groans loudly and snacks her hand to her forehead. "Why else would be have an intervention for you? We think you and Tris should get back together and work whatever problems you have between each other."

"I don't think that's going to happen." I say.

"Well that's too bad because-"

"Uriah, I got here as fast as I could-." The front door is swing wide open. "Are you okay...oh." Tris stands there for a moment. "Have you been watching 'How I Met Your Mother' _again_?" Uriah and Tris share a look.

He hangs his head. "It's so good though!"

"But, what is this for...oh." Again, she manages to answer her own question. I refuse to look at her because if I do, I know that my heart would be torn into many pieces.

How can she just break my heart and act like nothing has happened?

I don't realize my arm being pulled until I am shoved inside a room. Great, now I get so distracted with Tris it enables me to function on a day-to-day basis? _Get a grip, Tobias!_

What's even worse is that they locked me in this room with Tris.

"What the fuck Zeke?" I slam my knuckles into the door. "Let us out."

"Not until you two sort out your problems. I don't care how long it takes. You two aren't getting out until you make up. Not make out. But technically, that's fine because it's behind closed doors and-OW! Sorry, babe." I bang my head against the door.

Tris sits on the other side of the room with her knees to her chests as she hugs them close to her body. Even when she's sulking she looks so beautiful. There's a small pout on her lips until her eyes light up and she gets an idea. She takes it a phone from her pocket, and starts pressing things. I am so stupid, how did I forget about my phone in my pocket? I take it out as well and start playing games. Maybe if I can ignore this and this current situation, then it will go away. But that's not how it works, so might as well stall.

"Mom?" I took up to see Tris whispering into the phone.

"Can you pick me up from Uriah's house?" There's and small pause. "What do you mean you can't pick me up?" She shouts, exasperated. "They're holding me hostage. Don't you care about your daughter at all?" She purses her lips. "Fine. Considers me no longer your daughter. I'll see you for dinner, well, if I ever make it out alive."

I have to hide my smile. Tris, always the drama queen. But then again, her best friend is Christina. And Marlene. But both of them bring balance to Tris, so it always ends up perfect. She's perfect. Ugh, Tobias.

"Do you think they'd buy it if we said we worked out our problems?" I hear Tris ask.

"Well, Uriah and Zeke. We could probably fool them in our sleep." She ends up laughing at my comment which takes me by surprise.

I made her laugh. I can't help but smile, very very wide.

"You two know that these walls are very thin? We can here everything your guys are saying."

Tris and I make eye contact. My lips shape into an 'o' and within a few seconds, our plan is destroyed.

"And Tris, Zeke and I are not holding you hostage. We all are. Chris, Mar, and Shauna included as well are all holding you hostage."

"How's that any different?" She asks.

"Oh yeah."

The first half an hour goes by quickly, but as the half an hour turns to an hour, then to two, both Tris and I start to get frustrated.

"Gosh, I am so sick of this. Let us out!" She bangs on the door. "I'm hungry too!"

"There's a mini fridge filled with snacks and drinks. My mom prepared them." Hana was into this, too? How am I ever supposed to trust anyone ever again? "She also put the microwave from our kitchen inside because she's awesome like that." Zeke says.

Tris rolls her eyes. "Look, Tobias." She says, gaining my attention. "I don't know why there locking us up here especially since I had nothing to do with this 'break-up'."

"You had nothing to do with this break-up? Tris, you were one who broke up with me!"

"Well it's not my fault you go around inviting girls over to your room! Even I have never really gone into your room. Who knows what you and Lauren were doing in there!"

"It was just tutoring! How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Her voice softens. "You know," she takes a calming breath. "Your mom thought you and her were dating. Were you that ashamed of me to not tell your mom about me?" She looks at me with those sad eyes. "The whole time we dated, I thought I meant something to you. I thought that you were proud to have me as a girlfriend. I try so hard to be a perfect girlfriend, friend, sister, but sometimes it's so hard because I feel like I have so much expectations raining on me. I just want to let go. Let go of all this stress and pressure and just be me. I can't, I'm sorry, I just can't-" She runs to the door and knocks loudly.

It's when I realize that neither of us actually tried to open the door. Because when Tris twists the knob of the door, it opens up as she puts pressure onto it.

"Son of a bitch." I mutter.

I stare back at the ground because once again, she is leaving me and I have nothing I can do to change it.

When I know she is totally out of sight, I slowly make my way out of the room and welcome the blank stares of all their faces.

I feel like the weight of the world is just weighing down on my shoulders. I feel like I just lost an ultimate battle and no longer have much to fight for.

"What happened?" I applaud Uriah for being brave enough to ask.

But instead of opening myself to my friends, I shrug and say, "it's complicated."


	31. Part Thirty-One

a/n: Many of you guys may have not know this, but I have a new story out and I published it a few weeks ago. Once I finish this story, I will be trying to regularly update between FH and the new story DT. I really like it so far and I hope you do to.

Chapter 31

Tris' POV

It's been six weeks since my leg injury which is probably the biggest relief ever. Although this cast gave me an excuse to be lazy, I have been starting to get extremely impatient with everything and everyone around me.

It feels like everyone one is purposely ticking me off. And don't get me started on Caleb. Apparently he thinks that me being on crutches means that I am free to do all the sitting down chores. One time, after I finished studying for my two AP class tests, he practically threw a laundry basket at my face and told me to start folding.

But eventually I moved past it because I 'accidentally' put temporary pink hair dye in his shampoo.

I had a great laugh. Even my mom thought it was so funny, she did it to my dad because of some petty bet they made. It was quite funny as well. Oh blackmail...I took so many pictures.

But point is, it is the biggest relief that these crutches and cast are finally gone. I am able to walk normally with the slight exception of my barely noticeable limp. Caleb also thought it would be funny to trip me causing me to fall on my face twisting my ankle on the way to the floor.

Caleb can be quite the sibling. However, I still love him nonetheless.

The forecast of today is a dark gloomy gray. It's for sure going to rain and I'm so excited. I love the rain, but not to the point where the rain droplets feels like stabs to the skin.

School has been a great bore. What once used to be so much fun and filled with joy, is now filled with anxiety and dreadfulness.

I stare at the empty pond where ducks would usually be happily swimming in. I sit criss-crossed under a tree as I let my mind run wild.

My stupid therapist tells me to go outside and set some time aside for myself. Like I need it. Maybe I do, but nevertheless, I find myself out in this meadow quite often.

After a while of pondering, I focus my attention back to my homework trying to complete it all before my ice skating practice. But of course, to my luck, it starts to lightly drizzle.

"Fuckshit. Great, just great. What has my life become?" I pack my things up and put them back into my bag. I then proceed to walk home to where Caleb will be. He's the one who has to drive me everywhere. Ha.

My phone vibrates from my pocket and I grab it. I get a text message from Caleb stating that he is already here to pick me up. I walk about a bit to look for him and finally find him parked near the water fountains on his phone. I knock lightly on the window and he unlocks the car door for me to enter.

By the time I enter, it is full on pouring outside and I am soaked from head to toe.

"Woah, it's pouring outside. Aren't you cold?" I give him a look.

"Okay, that was a dumb question. Here, let me turn on the heater."

"Thanks." Instantly, I feel the heat radiating from the fans hitting and making contact with my shivering body. I turn on the stereo and sync my phone with the car radio. I start playing music from my phone, not that Caleb cares and sings along with the lyrics.

Caleb doesn't bother to make conversation with me and I'm glad because I don't feel like talking. So instead, we sit with one another in a comfortable silence as he drives to our destination.

We finally reach the ice skating rink within ten minutes. We say our goodbyes and he tells me he'll come around 7:30 to pick me up after my practice. I sling my bag behind my back and walk towards the inside of the building.

I greet Richard as I walk through the main entrance. He's the one who you would pay to if you wanted to come and skate. But since he knows I'm a regular and I make my payments at the end of the month, he just nods and smiles then looks away.

I change into my dark blue skating leotard and skates and then proceed to make my way in the rink.

I'm a little clumsy at first because I haven't been here in a month and a half, but I finally get my rhythm make after a few minutes.

My coach and mentor, Gianna is late, as usual. She has a terrible habit of being late but I love her nonetheless.

I always enjoyed ice skating because it provides me with a sense of freedom and the ability to do whatever I want with such limited time. It makes me feel so good about my skating abilities especially since I to try to win as many gold medals during competitions as possible.

Gianna helps whip me back into shape giving me very strict instructions on how to improve my forms and jumps.

Relatively speaking, when comparing myself to other skaters I'm not as flexible as them. Sometimes I pull too many muscles while doing standing splits than anything else.

I loose my balance and form several times throughout my three hours. More than several, really. I fall like after ever jump and spins, but it is what it is. I'm not perfect and I'm obviously going to fall. A lot.

Time seems to be something that I completely do not prioritize because I don't even realize that my practice is over when it is.

After changing back to my normal attire, I exit the building and send a quick text to Caleb.

The rink has to lock up because it usually closes when I finish my practice.

It feels like the world is a floppy gray color as the rain continues to make contact with the ground.

Caleb tells me he's not coming for another ten minutes due to the traffic. I don't blame him. There always seems to be traffic when it rains anywhere, really.

Unfortunately to my luck, there are no covers I can hide under so I'm stuck standing in the rain.

As I continue to wait for Caleb, I see headlights approaching me and stopping right in front of where I am standing. I immediately recognize the car but I stand still. My eyes glare at the wet group as I see the shoes of the person approaching me. The rain suddenly stops making contact with me but I still can hear it hitting the ground.

A bright yellow umbrella is placed over my head but I don't dare say or thank the person.

"Hi." Tobias says.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, my eyes still looking straight forward.

"I wanted to talk with you." I can feel the heat radiating from his body onto mine. My head only reaches just below his collarbone which is a little sad. But in reality, it's actually really nice dating a guy almost a foot taller than me. What am I saying? I'm not even dating anyone at the moment.

"What do you want to talk about?" I finally turn to him but at the same time, I want to run away as far as possible just so I don't have to talk to him. I don't want him to see me in a weak and vulnerable state.

"I want you back." Okay...I was not mentally prepared for this.

"Tobias," I shake my head. "I think you should go home. It's super cold out and I don't want you getting sick."

He looks at me with those eyes. Gosh, those eyes.

"No. I'll stay with you. You must be freezing. Here." He takes off his jacket with one arm and puts it on top of my shoulder. He doesn't even give me time to react.

"Tobias, you're wasting your time. You should just go home."

"I love you, Tris. Isn't that enough?"

"I loved you too, but I guess everything that ever happened between us wasn't enough. So I don't know Tobias. I'm having a hard time distinguishing between your lies and when you're telling the truth because obviously these days you're having a hard time being truthful to me. Love is being unconditional and having trust and if you can't trust me to tell me about your get together with Lauren, then I don't know." I stare at the ground as I say these words. I don't even know if they make sense of not, but all I can register are words coming out of my mouth.

"You should go home." I say once again. "This isn't worth your time. Like me." Sometimes I wonder if we could ever be fixed. I feel like our relationship always have some faults to it, and I don't think that we'll ever be back to normal.

I start to walk away just so I don't have to be near him. I don't even care that I'm freezing cold and shivering I just don't want to deal with this right now.

But he grabs my arm before I can fully walk away. "But you are worth it to me."

The umbrella hits the ground barely making any noise against the loud rain. He pulls me flush against his body and once again, heat rushes through my body. He cups my face and leans in close. I can feel our breathing mixing together as his eyes search mine. He has to fully bend just so he can reach me.

His soft lips make contact with mine and it takes me a while to register what is happening. I loose myself into the kiss until I realize how wrong his is.

I push him back and shake my head a little to wildly.

"We can't. I can't. No, no. Tobias, you can't just kiss me and expect everything to be better."

"Tell me you didn't feel that. Tell me you didn't feel those sparks flying." He hugs me close and rests his forehead on mine.

"Tobias," I close my eyes. "We can't."

"Tell me and look me in the eyes." I lift my head and try to let the words slip out, but they won't come out.

"Give me another chance, please." My chest aches and I want to scream and thrash. I wish he didn't have so much control over me.

"You can't keep doing this. You can't keep breaking my heart. It's not fair, Tobias. I feel like every time you break it, you take a part of me with you. I don't want to lose myself in the process. How do I know you're not just going to betray my trust again? I can't keep giving you chances. How do I know that one day you're going to realize I'm just a joke and leave again? I don't want to lose myself any longer."

"Then trust me. Can you do that?"

"I did. But that didn't work out, did it now? And you aren't very good at keeping promises either." I state.

"Tell me you don't want me and I won't bother you ever again."

I advent my eyes away from him and stare at an old beat up car in the parking lot.

"I," I pause for a few seconds, "I don't want you anymore."

He lifts up my chin and forces me to look at him. I continue to look at the car. "I don't want you."

"Look me in the eyes and say it." When my eyes meet his, I find myself unable to let the words out. I hate how he does this to me.

Where the fuck is Caleb?

"I love you." I say. There are always those cliché sayings to "listen to your heart" and whatnot. Maybe it's the sudden implications to do so, and I know I'm making a huge mistake, but God damnit. I don't care anymore. Part of me is screaming, 'What the hell are you thinking?! Retreat! Retreat!', but the other part of me just wants to run into his arms and never ever let him go ever again. So I listen to that part.

"We're going to have to fix our broken patches, though."

"Yes, yes." He nods his head.

What the hell are you doing, Tris? Retreat! You literally just said you two can never be fixed!

"You have to be honest with me. If I ever find out you're keeping things from me, I'm ending it on the spot."

"I can deal with that."

Tris, you need to stop this. Right now!

"I love you. You can't hurt me, ever again. You need to swear."

"I swear. I cross my heart. I love you, Tris. I love you so so much."

'I give up', my conscious says. 'I quit. I'm not doing this again.'

I hope I made the right decision. Call me bipolar, call me anything, but I really really hope I just made the right decision, especially since I was just saying how I don't think we should be in a relationship. My mother told me to forgive people for their sins. She told me that sometimes things happen for a reason and I just have to understand the back stories for people's actions. I hope that one day Tobias and I will be back to normal. But now, I can only just hope.

* * *

"You okay?" Caleb asks me halfway through the car ride home. "You seem a little off."

"I think I just made a mistake. But I really hope it was worth it."

"Can you get any more vague?"

"Tobias and I are back together."

He whistles lowly. "Do you think you made the right choice?"

"Gosh, I hope so. It's complicated, but I hope everything works out eventually."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."


	32. Part Thirty-Two

**a/n: I tried to publish this chapter quickly so sorry if there are any errors. Enjoy!**

 **There will probably be one more chapter after this, maybe two of I'm feeling generous. I don't know yet. I just know that this story is coming to an end.**

Chapter 32

Tris' POV

The first week back wth Tobias was extremely awkward. We set boundaries for ourselves, I set most of them actually, but nonetheless we had certain boundaries we didn't want to cross.

I was a little wary being back with him, especially since I was so adamant about being single and having no boyfriend after our recent break.

It's a work in progress and after each day, I'm becoming more and more comfortable being around. Of course I still have some trust issues, but like I said, it's a work in progress.

My decision to get back with Tobias was I can't say the best decision I've ever made, but it's certainly up there.

Then there's drama with my classmates. I've never been much of an observant person, but we've been getting a lot of looks from the girls when Tobias and I walk down the halls with one another. I'm sure it's mainly because gossip gets around fast among girls and it's not every day a couple gets back together. Our school is very boring that way. Probably out of the thousand kids at our school, there are fifteen couples max.

My teacher glares at me for not paying attention because I notice the deathly silence in the classroom. You know how when a student is not paying attention, then teacher suddenly stops talking and just stares at the student that's not focusing. Yeah...

I give a forced smile back to Mr. Hopkins and know that I'm not in trouble. I'm a teacher's pet and I'm proud of that. Well, I don't know if I should be, but I am.

When the class period ends, I go back to my normal lunch spot for the past few weeks. Call me a loner, but I still sit under a secluded tree just to think.

The day after Tobias and I got back together, I found myself crying under the tree. I don't remember what started the tears, but all I remember is bawling my eyes out.

The sad thing is, is that before we were so happy with one another, and now I don't know where we stand. I've been noticing the fact that I question our relationship more and more lately even though I had said we were making progress.

I would see him talking to other boys and girls of our school and see him so happy. But I'd then ask myself, 'Is he happy with me?'

We would be together and one moment I would feel so happy and the next, I would feel empty.

Deep down, I think that I'm not good enough. There's always going to be much prettier and intelligent women, and I'm just me. I hate comparing myself to others but I just feel so hopeless and alone. I wish for someone to just understand and comfort me because deep down I feel miserable.

I wish to tell Tobias how I feel, but I know he'll just laugh and think I'm weak.

My eyes feel heavy with tears and I wipe my wet cheeks.

"Hey, hey, hey, are you okay?" I look up with my blurry vision and see Tobias crouching down in front of me. He hugs me close to him as I let myself go.

"Are you okay?" I don't answer the question because obviously I'm not. I don't know why I've been crying so much lately. I just feel...sad. I feel like the whole weight of the world is literally in my shoulders. I wish I could tell him that I'm okay and that nothing is wrong, but I just shake my head because like I said, I don't feel like answering nor do I want to talk at the moment.

But as much as I hate to admit it, Tobias is my anchor and I need him to survive. I need him to support me and hold me when I'm feeling down. He provides me with love when I feel neglected. He loves me for me and I love him for that.

So within these awful feelings of self doubt, I understand why I stick with him.

 _I fell in love with him._

 _But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me._

 _I stay with him because I choose to, everyday that we wake up, every day that we fight, or lie to each other or disappoint each other._

 _I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me. (Allegiant)_

* * *

After my little emotional breakdown, Tobias brings me to the cafeteria to have a normal lunch with the rest of our friends.

"Hey you," Christina smiles as I sit down next to her and Tobias next to my side. "I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."

"Yeah..." I sigh. "It's been a little complicated. How have you been, Chris? We should do something together soon."

"Yes!" She exclaims with excitement dripping through her voice. "We'll plan something soon."

I smile and nod at her.

After our really short conversation, everyone seems to go back to what they were talking about.

Tobias lightly taps my on the shoulder and I turn to him.

"Do you want to walk with me before class starts?" He asks.

"Sure," I stand up and we both dismiss ourselves from our friends. As we wander around the halls of the school, Tobias abruptly takes my hand in his. As dumb as it sounds, the contact of his hand provides comfort and warmth to me.

"Do you want to talk about what happened back there?"

I stay silent not necessarily wanting to answer, but after a while I gather the courage to speak what I have been thinking for a long time.

"Why do you want to be with me? I don't understand what you see in me."

There's a long moment of silent and I feel like someone just stripped me naked and I'm standing exposed in front of hundreds of people.

"Because I love you, and I believe that you and I are soul mates." _Soulmates_?

I don't think I disagree that Tobias is 'it' for me.

"And you have such a kind heart because you always put everyone else first before you. I also admire your intelligence, honesty, you're always so so brave, and the fact that you stick with me. I love you to the moon and back and I don't think I will ever be able to find someone as good as you." He says everything as he strokes my cheek forcing me to look at him.

I want to jump in his arms and for him to never let go of me.

"I love you," I say.

"I love you too. We're going to be alright, you know. You and me. Nothing else is alright but we are."

And I believe him.


End file.
